Perceptions in different age groups about marriage. What is marriage? What is family? History and types of marriage and family relations? The formation and stages of development of each particular family. Statistical processing was carried out using the t-test St

General ideas about family and marriage. - Short story
family and marriage relations. - Legal aspects
family and marriage. - Functions of the family. - Family types
One of the problems of adulthood, associated with the physiological and social needs of a person, is the creation of a family.

Most people are derivatives (products) of the family, and many remain its members for almost the entire trajectory of their lives, thus, for almost every person, family members form his immediate environment throughout his life. And this environment plays a crucial role in meeting human needs, including maintaining, maintaining and strengthening both physical and mental health.
The family cannot be considered only as a biological group, it is a unit of social relations. The family is a historically changing social group, the universal features of which are heterosexual relations, a system of kinship relations, the provision and development of individual and social qualities of a person, and the implementation of certain economic activities.
From the point of view of sociology, the family is a social system that has both the features of a social institution, i.e. sustainable form of organization joint activities, and features of a small social group, i.e. community, united by the performance of certain functions, connected by common interests. This implies the dependence of the family on the social system, the economic situation, political, religious relations and traditions that are developing in society. On the other hand, the family also has a certain independence, relative autonomy.
As a social institution, the family is bound by certain norms of behavior, the nature of the relationship between family members. As a small group, the family is based on marriage or consanguinity, it is bound by a common life, certain moral, economic obligations, mutual assistance, care for the health of each of its members, it regulates relations between parents and children, as well as close relatives.
Marriage can be defined as a historically conditioned, recognized and sanctioned by society, socially and personally expedient form of union between a man and a woman, fixing their personal and property relations. The main purpose of marriage is to create a family.
By entering into marriage, people assume certain legal and moral obligations, share responsibilities relating, in particular, to financial relations, property, raising children, and maintaining each other's health.
Throughout the historical development of society, family and marriage relations have gone through certain stages, their forms, structure and content have changed.
So, at the stage of existence of the primitive human herd, there was no marriage, there were promiscuous sexual relations, when every woman could have sexual relations with any man, and every man, in turn, with any woman.
With the emergence of the tribal system, a group form of marriage appeared, in which each man of one tribal group could have sexual relations with all the women of another tribal group.

Later, with the development of the tribal system, group cohabitation was replaced by a pair marriage, uniting one couple. This form of marriage existed in three main forms:
dislocal marriage, in which each of the couple lived in their own ancestral group;
patrilocal marriage, in which a woman moved to live in the clan of a man;
matrilocal marriage, in which a man passed into the genus of a woman.
The paired form of marriage did not imply the possession of joint property, personal property remained separate. Such a marriage was fragile and freely terminated.
In the early stages of pair marriage, signs of group marriage were quite widely present, which were expressed in polygamy. Polygamy came in two forms:
in the form of polygamy, when one man had several wives from another family;
in the form of polyandry, when one woman had several husbands.
Polygamy prevailed in those areas where agriculture was the main activity, and a man was at the head of such a family. Polygamy in some countries has survived to the present day. In areas where the main occupation was hunting, polyandry became widespread, in which the woman, who was the keeper of the fire, had more power than the man. Kinship in such a family was determined by the female line.
Later, during the collapse of the tribal system, pair marriage was replaced by monogamous marriage, in which a marriage union was concluded between one man and one woman. This marriage more firmly united the spouses and their offspring, ensured the integrity of the family, which thus acquired the features of the economic unit of society.
The further development of society changed the forms and content of marriage family relations. In a slave-owning society, marriage was recognized as legal only for free citizens, the marital relations of slaves were considered simple cohabitation. In the Roman Empire, marriages were considered legal only for full-fledged citizens, who were concluded with women of the same class. Such marriages were protected by the state. In European countries in the early Middle Ages, only church marriage, which was mandatory for all classes. Serfs could marry only with the consent of the feudal lord to whom they belonged.
Gradually, church marriage was supplanted by civil marriage, which was formalized by civil authorities or notaries. So, in England, civil marriage was introduced in 1653, in the Netherlands - in 1656, in France - in 1789. In some countries, until now, only church marriage has legal force, in a number of countries both secular and church marriage.
In Russia, until 1917, there was only church marriage, but to record the marriages of people who did not profess any of the officially recognized religions, marriage registration with the police was allowed. Since 1918, only civil marriage was recognized in Russia, church marriage was a private affair of those entering into marriage. In 1926, the Code of Laws on Marriage, Family and Guardianship was adopted, which, along with marriages entered into in the civil registry offices, allowed actual marital relations, which gave the right to persons who were in such relations to mutual payment of alimony in case of loss working capacity of one of the spouses, as well as for children and for the settlement of relations related to jointly acquired property in the same manner as for persons who were in an officially registered marriage. This situation existed until 1944, when the Decree of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR established that the rights and obligations of spouses give rise only to marriages registered in the registry office.
At present, the Family Code of the Russian Federation, adopted by the State Duma on December 8, 1995, is in force in Russia. It regulates family and marriage relations, establishes the conditions and procedure for marriage, its termination and invalidation, determines the rights and obligations of spouses and other family members. Many provisions of the Family Code of the Russian Federation are also of interest to medical workers.
Thus, Article 1 states that “family, motherhood, fatherhood and childhood in the Russian Federation are under the protection of the state.
Family law proceeds from the need to strengthen the family, build family relations on feelings of mutual love and respect, mutual assistance and responsibility to the family of all its members, the inadmissibility of arbitrary interference in family affairs by anyone, ensuring the unimpeded exercise of their rights by family members, the possibility of judicial protection of these rights. ".
Part 2 of Article 1 of the Family Code establishes that “marriage entered into only in the civil registry offices is recognized”. Thus, as in earlier legal acts concerning the regulation of family and marriage relations in our country, only civil marriages have legal force, and the rights and obligations of spouses arise from the date of state registration of marriage. At the same time, “regulation of family relations is carried out in accordance with the principles of voluntary marriage of a man and a woman, equality of rights of spouses in the family, resolution of intra-family issues by mutual agreement, priority family education children, concern for their well-being and development, ensuring priority protection of the rights and interests of minors and disabled family members. Part 4 of Article 1 prohibits "any form of restriction of the rights of citizens when entering into marriage and in family relations on the grounds of social, racial, national, linguistic or religious affiliation."
The Family Code requires a number of conditions necessary for marriage. Such conditions include the mutual voluntary consent of a man and a woman entering into marriage, and the achievement of marriageable age by them. The age of marriage is set at 18 years (Part 1, Article 13 of the Family Code). At the same time, if there are valid reasons, local governments may allow marriage to persons who have reached the age of 16, at their request.
Society and the family are interested in the birth of healthy offspring, therefore, provisions relating to the preservation of the health of family members occupy a significant place in the Family Code. Thus, Article 14 prohibits marriage between close relatives in direct ascending and descending lines (parents and children, grandfather, grandmother and grandchildren), as well as full and half brothers and sisters. Incomplete siblings are brothers and sisters who have a common father or mother. Such a ban is due not only to moral reasons, but also to the fact that marriages between relatives can adversely affect the health of offspring. Of great importance for the protection of health is article 15 concerning the medical examination of persons entering into marriage:
"1. Medical examination of persons entering into marriage, as well as counseling on medical genetic issues and family planning, are carried out by institutions of the state and municipal health care system at their place of residence free of charge and only with the consent of the persons entering into marriage.
2. The results of the examination of a person entering into marriage constitute a medical secret and may be communicated to the person with whom he intends to marry only with the consent of the person who has undergone the examination.
3. If one of the persons entering into marriage hid from the other person the presence of a venereal disease or HIV infection, the latter has the right to apply to the court with a demand to recognize the marriage as invalid (Articles 27-30 of this Code).”
The freedom to enter into marriage also provides for the freedom to terminate it, but society is interested in strengthening the institution of the family, so the dissolution of marriage is under the control of the state. In addition, there are a number of restrictions on the dissolution of a marriage regarding the protection of the rights and interests of a pregnant woman, a nursing mother and minor children.
Article 17 refers to the limitation of the husband's right to demand a divorce:
“A husband does not have the right, without the consent of his wife, to initiate a divorce case during the wife’s pregnancy and within a year after the birth of the child.”
If the spouses have common minor children, the marriage is dissolved in judicial order, at the same time, it is determined with which parent the children will live, from which parent and in what amount child support is collected. If there is an agreement between the spouses on these issues that does not violate the interests of the children or one of the spouses, the marriage may be dissolved by the court without clarifying the motives for the divorce.
The Family Code provides for equal rights of spouses in the family, this applies to the choice of occupation, profession, place of stay and residence. At the same time, Article 31 states that "issues of motherhood, fatherhood, upbringing, education of children and other issues of family life are decided by the spouses jointly, based on the principle of equality of spouses." But, in addition to rights, spouses also have responsibilities. Part 3 of Article 31 reads: “Spouses are obliged to build their relationships in the family on the basis of mutual respect and mutual assistance, to promote the well-being and strengthening of the family, to take care of the well-being and development of their children.”
The future of society largely depends on how and under what conditions new generations will be brought up, therefore it is important to protect the rights and interests of children, including the expression of their own opinion, upbringing, education, and health protection. Better conditions for the physical and spiritual development of the child, the preservation and strengthening of his health can only be created in the family. Chapter 11 of the Family Code is devoted to defining these issues.
“Article 54. The right of a child to live and be brought up in a family.
1. A child is a person who has not reached the age of eighteen years (majority).
2. Every child has the right to live and be brought up in a family, as far as possible, the right to know his parents, the right to be cared for by them, the right to live with them, except in cases where this is contrary to his interests.
The child has the right to be raised by his parents, ensure his interests, comprehensive development, respect for his human dignity.
In the absence of parents, in the event of deprivation of their parental rights and in other cases of loss of parental care, the child's right to be raised in a family is ensured by the body of guardianship and guardianship ...
Article 55. The right of the child to communicate with parents and other relatives.
1. The child has the right to communicate with both parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters and other relatives. The dissolution of the marriage of the parents, its annulment or the separation of the parents does not affect the rights of the child.
In the case of separation of parents, the child has the right to communicate with each of them. The child has the right to communicate with his parents also in the case of their residence in different states.
2. A child in an emergency situation (detention, arrest, detention, stay in a medical institution, etc.) has the right to communicate with his parents and other relatives in the manner prescribed by law.
Article 56. The right of the child to protection.
1. The child has the right to protection of his rights and legitimate interests.
The protection of the rights and legitimate interests of the child is carried out by the parents (persons replacing them), and in the cases provided for by this Code, by the guardianship and guardianship authority, the prosecutor and the court.
A minor, recognized in accordance with the law as fully capable before reaching the age of majority, has the right to independently exercise his rights and obligations, including the right to protection.
2. The child has the right to be protected from abuse by parents (persons replacing them).
In case of violation of the rights and legitimate interests of the child, including in case of failure or improper performance by the parents (one of them) of the duties of raising, educating the child or in case of abuse of parental rights, the child has the right to independently apply for their protection to the guardianship and guardianship body, and upon reaching the age of fourteen years in court.3. Officials of organizations and other citizens who become aware of a threat to the life or health of a child, a violation of his rights and legitimate interests, are obliged to report this to the guardianship and guardianship authority at the actual location of the child. Upon receipt of such information, the guardianship and guardianship body is obliged to take the necessary measures to protect the rights and legitimate interests of the child.
Thus, health care workers who encounter child abuse (see section “ Healthy child”), are obliged, in addition to providing the necessary medical care take steps to legally protect the child.
The Family Code provides for the rights of the child to express his own opinion, to take his opinion into account when choosing a profession.
“Article 57. The right of the child to express his opinion.
The child has the right to express his opinion when resolving any issue in the family that affects his interests, as well as to be heard in the course of judicial or administrative proceedings. Consideration of the opinion of a child who has reached the age of ten years is mandatory, except in cases where this is contrary to his interests.
In some cases, the competent authorities can take a decision concerning a child who has reached the age of ten only with his consent. This applies to issues of changing the name and surname, restoration of parental rights, adoption, changing the place and date of birth of an adopted child, transferring the child to a foster family.
Parents raising a child also have certain rights and obligations, and Article 61 provides for the equality of rights and obligations of parents. Parental rights “are terminated when the child reaches the age of eighteen (majority), as well as when minor children enter into marriage and in other cases established by law when children acquire full legal capacity before they reach the age of majority.”
IN last years cases when minor children become parents have become more frequent. In connection with this, the Family Code provides for the rights of this category of citizens.
“Article 62. Rights of minor parents.
1. Minor parents have the right to live together with the child and participate in his upbringing.
2. Minor parents who are not married, if they give birth to a child and when their maternity and (or) paternity is established, have the right to independently exercise parental rights when they reach the age of sixteen. Until the minor parents reach the age of sixteen, a child may be appointed a guardian who will carry out his upbringing together with the minor parents of the child. Disagreements arising between the guardian of the child and minor parents are resolved by the body of guardianship and guardianship.
3. Minor parents have the right to recognize and challenge their paternity and maternity on a general basis, and also have the right to demand, upon reaching the age of fourteen, that paternity be established in relation to their children in court.”
One of the functions of the modern family is the upbringing of children, which is reflected in the Family Code.
“Article 63. The rights and obligations of parents in the upbringing and education of children.
1. Parents have the right and duty to raise their children.
Parents are responsible for the upbringing and development
their children. They are obliged to take care of the health, physical, mental, spiritual and moral development of their children.
Parents have a preferential right to raise their children over all other persons.
2. Parents are obliged to ensure that their children receive basic general education.
Parents, taking into account the opinion of their children, have the right to choose an educational institution and the form of education for children until the children receive basic general education.
Very important in terms of maintaining the physical and mental health of children, their harmonious development are issues of exercising parental rights, which, in accordance with Article 65, “cannot be exercised in conflict with the interests of children. Ensuring the interests of children should be the main concern of their parents.
When exercising parental rights, parents have no right to harm the physical and mental health of children, their moral development. Ways of raising children should exclude neglect, cruel, rude, degrading treatment, abuse or exploitation of children.
Parents exercising parental rights to the detriment of the rights and interests of children are liable in accordance with the procedure established by law.
2. All issues related to the upbringing and education of children are decided by the parents by their mutual agreement, based on the interests of the children and taking into account the opinions of the children ...
3. The place of residence of children in case of separation of parents is established by agreement of the parents.
In the absence of an agreement, the dispute between the parents is resolved by the court, based on the interests of the children and taking into account the opinions of the children. At the same time, the court takes into account the child’s attachment to each of the parents, brothers and sisters, the age of the child, the moral and other personal qualities of the parents, the relationship that exists between each of the parents and the child, the possibility of creating conditions for the child’s upbringing and development (type of activity, mode of work of parents , financial and marital status of parents, etc.).
Thus, the legislation of the Russian Federation on marriage and the family is aimed at strengthening the institution of the family, protecting the interests of family members, especially children; creation of conditions for preserving the health of future generations, the fulfillment by the family of its main functions.
At various stages of the development of society, the family performed many different functions, while some of them died out, their significance, the nature of social functions and their hierarchy changed, other functions of the family remained almost unchanged, but they always reflected the needs of society, as well as the individual needs of each family member. And in modern society, the family performs a number of functions, which include:
satisfaction of the sexual needs of an adult;
reproductive (reproduction of children, childbearing);
educational;
economic and economic;
recreational;
guardianship;
communicative.
One of the most important functions of the family is the ability to satisfy a person's sexual needs within the framework of legal relationships, while the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases is almost completely eliminated, and harmonious, trusting relationships are established. It is within the framework of the family that love, mutual support in the emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical plane can develop.
Among the most important is the reproductive function, expressed in the reproduction of the number of parents in children. In the context of the difficult demographic situation that is developing in developed countries and in Russia, this function of the family is of particular importance. For expanded reproduction of the population, it is necessary that at least half of the families have two children, and half - three. Otherwise, the population of the country will decrease. Medical workers should clearly understand the need to maintain the reproductive function of the family, promote its development, and help with family planning. The educational function is closely related to the reproductive function. Only in a family can a child develop normally, fully, therefore, a family is vital for a child, it cannot be replaced by any other public organizations and institutions. The life of a child in orphanages is a forced necessity, not a need. The atmosphere in the family, the relationships of its members, and the stereotypes of upbringing adopted in a particular family are of great importance for the formation of the child's personality, its formation. There are several fairly stable stereotypes of family education:
detocentrism;
professionalism;
pragmatism.
The essence of child-centrism lies in the all-forgiving attitude towards children, self-indulgence, falsely understood love for them.
Professionalism is expressed in a certain refusal of parents to raise children, the transfer of this function to teachers, educators in kindergartens, schools. In this case, parents believe that only or predominantly professionals should be involved in raising children.
Pragmatism is education, the purpose of which is to develop practicality in children, the ability to adapt to living conditions, arrange their affairs, focus primarily on obtaining material benefits.
These stereotypes of parental perception of the problem of raising children can have a negative impact on the development of the child, contribute to the manifestation of selfish personality traits. In this regard, one of the tasks of family nurses, nurses working with children, is to teach parents the right methods of education, taking into account age. psychological features child.
Another significant function of the family is economic and economic, covering various aspects of family relations. This also applies to issues of housekeeping, the distribution of household duties, the formation and use of family financial resources - the family budget, the organization of family consumption, etc. Before the development of industry, this function was leading, the family functioned as an economic structure in which all family members, including children, worked together, producing various material goods both to satisfy their own needs and for sale or exchange.
The recreational function in modern conditions with a large number of stressful situations, a high pace of life, an increase in social and psychological stress is of particular importance. Exactly at prosperous family restoration and strengthening of physical and spiritual forces, all-round development of the personality is possible. Spending time together, watching TV shows, visiting theaters, exhibitions, doing physical exercises, participating in country walks can not only relieve physical and psycho-emotional fatigue, which has a beneficial effect on health, but also significantly bring family members closer, strengthen family ties. In this sense, the family assumes a certain therapeutic role.
The guardianship function is also connected with the economic, economic and recreational functions, which is expressed in observation, assistance, care for elderly family members, the disabled, although at present, with the development of various social institutions (gerontological centers, veterans' homes, etc.), this function is somewhat losing its meaning. However, only in a family is it possible to ensure an adequate quality of life for all its members.
In the life of a modern family, everything greater value acquires a communicative function, which implies the organization of family communication, the choice of objects and forms of extra-family communication of family members. Thanks to this function, family members satisfy the need for intimate emotional self-expression. The inability to communicate, to find common interests often leads to family conflicts. In conflict families, the process of communication often comes down to everyone's monologues, when other family members do not hear the appeal directed to them, but they themselves respond with the same monologue. At the same time, each family member is afraid to express his point of view, to express his experiences, feelings, so as not to cause a negative reaction from the other.
The family as a social institution has a certain structure, which is determined by the system of relationships between its members, including the kinship structure, spiritual, moral and economic relations, as well as the system of distribution of power between spouses, i.e. within the framework of intra-family relations, the issue of leadership is also resolved.
Knowledge of the structure of the family, its type, the characteristics of relationships within it, the attitude to leisure and health will allow medical workers, especially related to family medicine (family nurses, nurses working with general practitioners), plan their activities correctly, choose the right communication tactics, timely identify health problems (diet, physical activity, etc.), and make the right decision.
According to the related structure, the modern family can be nuclear (small) and extended (large), and at present the nuclear family is more common.
The nuclear family is a social family structure that includes only a married couple with children, while grandparents and other relatives of both husband and wife live separately. In a nuclear family, the continuity of generations is violated to a certain extent; due to the inexperience of a young couple in matters of planning a family budget, distributing household responsibilities, creating an environment necessary for the successful functioning of a family, certain problems may arise related to raising children, the guardianship function partially falls out, but financial independence from older family members is acquired, their own traditions are formed , habits. In such situation nurse can and should take on the role of a consultant, mentor in matters of family planning, raising children, maintaining and strengthening the health of family members.
The extended family consists of family members of parents (grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles, aunts) who live in a common house, run a joint household, own joint property, and distribute responsibilities among themselves. Sometimes members of the extended family live close to each other, but in different houses. In this case, the ties between family members are somewhat weaker than when living under the same roof, but the functions of the family can be distributed among them. So, older family members - grandfathers, grandmothers - can take on many functions: in particular, in raising children, cooking, etc., they can play the role of a wise adviser, mentor, and the younger ones can take on financial well-being, guardianship function. In modern conditions, the roles of the older and younger generations of members of the extended family may change somewhat when representatives of the older generation take care of material well-being. In this case, the younger members of the family must perform other economic functions, related, in particular, to creating a cozy home environment, maintaining cleanliness and order in the house.
The extended family is more capable of providing a system of constant support, especially in difficult life situations, including issues of maintaining and maintaining health, but at the same time, it can serve as a source of conflict due to the fact that a husband or wife introduces habits and preferences into a new family. , traditions, views of their own extended families. These habits, traditions can relate to both food addictions, attitudes towards one's own health, and forms of behavior in various situations associated with differences in cultural, religious, political views maybe differences in social status.
At present, the nuclear family is more common, and the extended family is acquiring the features of a family group organized according to the type "family of children - family of parents." Such family groups are a special social phenomenon and arise on the basis of multidirectional needs:
the needs of each family for self-sufficiency, independence;
the needs of different generations in communication and mutual assistance.
At the same time, contacts between the families of children and parents are the most stable, based on the fulfillment of an economic function, the satisfaction of material needs, the maintenance of a home, the creation of conditions for improving the health and recreation of family members.
According to the number of children, families can be:
large families;
middle children;
small children;
childless.
According to the structure of the distribution of power, how the issue of leadership is resolved, family responsibilities are distributed, there are three main types of families:
traditional (patriarchal) family;
non-traditional family;
egalitarian (family of equals), or collectivist.
Different types of families are also characterized by different approaches to different aspects of family relations and family life.
So, in a traditional family, one of the distinguishing features of which is the existence under one roof of at least three generations, the leading role belongs to the older man.
As a rule, a traditional family is large - it adheres to the principle: the more children, the better, the educational function lies to a greater extent on the woman who educates with affection, and the man punishes, without refusing bodily influences, while the child must follow the choice parents in professional self-determination. Housekeeping in a traditional family is predominantly done by a woman, including managing the money given by her husband, providing for the family financially, and making a professional career. They have originality and ways of spending leisure time: as a rule, spouses have fun together, but the husband can spend his leisure time outside the home, while the wife should be at home. Interests in such a family are largely limited to family problems, discussing household chores, and a warm family atmosphere is created mainly by a woman, while a man can afford to be rude towards other family members.
Thus, for this type of family are characteristic:
economic dependence of a woman on her husband;
a clear distribution of functional family responsibilities, assigning them to a man and a woman (husband - breadwinner, breadwinner, wife - mistress, keeper of the hearth);
recognition of the unconditional leadership of men in all areas of family life.
For a non-traditional family, it is characteristic that the traditional attitude to the leadership of a man is preserved, the division of household duties into male and female, but without sufficient objective economic grounds, which is a hallmark of a traditional family, i.e. in a non-traditional family, the man does not make the main contribution to the economic well-being of the family, but at the same time he shifts the care of the household to the woman. This type of family is called exploitative, since a woman, along with equal rights with a man to participate in social work, acquires the exclusive right to domestic work. Naturally, in such a family there may be health problems for a woman who is forced to work both at work and at home.
The egalitarian family is a type of modern family in which household chores are distributed fairly, each member of the family takes part in them, since both a man and a woman can equally make a career or, by decision of both, a woman, in which case the man takes on take on most of the family workload. The number of children in such a family depends on the desire of both spouses and, last but not least, on financial capabilities; The upbringing of children is built on the basis of respect for the interests of the child, taking into account his capabilities, corporal punishment, of course, is not allowed. The issue of leadership is decided taking into account the strengths and weaknesses of each of the spouses, each can be a leader in a certain area of ​​​​family relations, and major decisions are made jointly. This affects both the family atmosphere, in the creation of which each of the spouses participates equally, and in the ways of spending leisure time, when the husband and wife can have fun separately, and, if desired, spend it together. This is facilitated by the atmosphere of trust and mutual respect, which, as a rule, is characteristic of this type of family, rudeness in relations is not allowed; interests become common, in addition to family and household concerns, production issues, political issues, hobbies, prospects, etc. can also be discussed.
Thus, the distinctive features of an egalitarian family are:
fair, proportional to the capabilities of each of the spouses, the distribution of household duties, the interchangeability of family members in solving domestic issues;
joint participation in ensuring the economic well-being of the family;
discussion of the main problems of the family and joint decision-making to overcome these problems;
emotional intensity of relationships.
There are also transitional family types that combine
imagine the traits of two or three basic types. In such families, the role attitudes of a man are more traditional than his actual behavior regarding the performance of various family responsibilities, i.e. a man claims leadership, but at the same time is quite actively involved in household chores. In a transitional family, the opposite situation is also possible: a man has democratic role-playing attitudes, but participates little in housekeeping.
One of the important functions of the family is recreational, therefore, depending on the nature of leisure activities, there are:
open families;
closed families.
A distinctive feature of open families is the focus on communication outside the home and on the leisure industry, i.e. visiting theaters, entertainment centers, sports clubs, etc.
For closed families, intra-home leisure is characteristic.
In modern family and marriage relations, significant changes are taking place regarding both the composition of the family, its role structure, and the functions of the family. A modern urban family, as a rule, has few children; has 1-2 children; the functions of men and women become more symmetrical, the authority and influence of women increase, ideas about the head of the family change; the economic function of the family weakens somewhat (the family ceases to be a production unit), but the importance of psychological closeness between family members increases.
At present, the life of a family, regardless of its type, is largely determined by the fact that women have to work to ensure the material well-being of the family and its economic independence, so many of them experience significant emotional and physical stress due to the dual role. Medical professionals can help overcome the consequences of the adverse effects of high physical and psycho-emotional stress, provide emotional support, and give recommendations on maintaining and maintaining health, taking into account the type of family.

The official delegation of the Russian Orthodox Church, headed by the chairman of the Department for External Church Relations of the Moscow Patriarchate, Metropolitan Hilarion of Volokolamsk, took part in the work of the assembly.

In his speech, Metropolitan Hilarion stated "the purposeful destruction of traditional ideas about marriage and the family" in the so-called developed countries.

“This is evidenced by such a recent phenomenon as equating homosexual unions with marriage and granting same-sex couples the right to adopt children,” Metropolitan Hilarion said in particular. - From the point of view of biblical teaching and traditional Christian moral values, this indicates a deep spiritual crisis. The religious concept of sin is finally eroded in societies that, until recently, perceived themselves as Christian.

In addition, the metropolitan raised the topic of the persecution of Christians in the Middle East and other regions, and also explained the significance of the WCC for Russia and the world as a whole.

No other report at the Assembly has evoked so much excitement, admiration and indignation from the audience.

The reaction of the Assembly participants to these words was different. Some already during the report energetically shook blue cards in the air - this is how, according to the procedure, disagreement is expressed. Others, after the speech, approached the microphone, expressed solidarity, and then surrounded the speaker in a tight ring and warmly thanked.

In order to better understand what is at stake, here are a few quotes from the Metropolitan's speech itself.

- Did you know in advance that you would “break the hive” with your performance?

I have a very good idea of ​​the atmosphere of the World Council of Churches, I know the mood of the people and the approximate alignment of forces. One of the weaknesses of the WCC is that the balance of power in the Christian community is not presented here quite adequately. For example, the largest Christian Church, the Roman Catholic Church, which morally stands on fairly conservative positions, is almost not represented here at all. A very loud voice in the WCC is always heard from the Protestants of the North and West, but the Protestant churches of the South - in particular Africa and the Middle East - are underrepresented.

The discussion after my talk showed that most members of the World Council of Churches - despite the prevailing liberal agenda - are on conservative positions on moral issues. For example, a delegate from one of the Protestant churches of the Congo said, in response to my report, that all of Africa shares our position on family ethics and the inadmissibility of equating same-sex unions with marriage. And the whole of Africa is a lot, a whole continent.

The Middle East also supports this position. The metropolitan from Egypt spoke on behalf of the pre-Chalcedonian churches - and they agree with us. Therefore, I think we have a fairly broad support in the World Council of Churches. I think our position on moral issues is shared by two-thirds of the non-Orthodox members of the WCC. But still, one should not forget about the liberal voices - these are primarily the churches of Western Europe and Scandinavia, as well as part of the American churches. It should be taken into account that they are the main donors of the Council - they provide it with the main financial support. In this regard, they traditionally have a very strong position here.

What is the point then in the work of the Russian Orthodox Church at the WCC? After all, Western "liberal" churches still do not admit they were wrong. Are you ready to compromise with them?

We never compromise with anyone. But let's remember the gospel parable of the sower. When we sow a seed, we never know whether it will fall on stony ground, or thorns, or birds will peck at it, or whether it will fall on fertile soil. There were about 2,000 people in the plenary session hall of the WCC, and I think there are quite a few among them whose heart is just fertile soil. They'll take what's been said to their churches, tell what they've heard. You yourself saw that many people came up to me and thanked me for my speech. At the same time, there will always be dissenters, and we know this in advance. But I never try to adapt to someone else's style, to someone else's standards. I know that I have been given fifteen minutes and I must use them. After all, when else will there be an opportunity to speak to such an audience, and will it be presented at all?

I believe that the voice of the Church should be prophetic, it should speak the truth, even if this truth is not politically correct and does not meet modern secular liberal standards. What is happening now. In this sense, our witness to the WCC requires a certain amount of courage, a willingness to hear and respond to criticism, but it also requires benevolence. We cannot simply "castigate the vices." We must speak to people about the truth of God, but speak with love and respect from the position - as long as this position does not diverge from the Gospel.

The delegate from the Methodist Church of Africa still objected to you. According to her, same-sex marriage is not such a terrible problem, what is worse is that teenagers commit suicide when they realize their non-traditional orientation and think that they will be condemned for it, and the Church, criticizing homosexuality, seems to contribute to such condemnation. What are you ready to answer?

These are two completely different topics that should not be confused. Domestic violence, teenage suicide and many other social disasters that are characteristic of our country, third world countries, and so-called developed countries - all these problems require the attention of the Church. But one does not exclude the other, and one is not directly related to the other. We are not saying that other problems should not be solved. But there is something that threatens Christian civilization as such. We are talking about the basics of family ethics, about the fact that the Church is called to protect the family as it is described in the Bible, that the Bible is our common teaching basis.

The second topic of your report - on the seemingly equally painful issue of the persecution of Christians in the Middle East and other regions - did not cause such heated discussion as the topic of same-sex marriage. What do you think of it?

Representatives of churches in the Middle East, North Africa and all those countries where Christians are being persecuted are very concerned that the World Council of Churches has voiced this topic, reacted to these acts of violence and contributed to changing the situation for the better. But the WCC has for many years been dominated by a European liberal agenda. And for many Europeans, it is completely uninteresting to think about those Christians who are persecuted and killed for their faith. For these Europeans, it is more interesting to think about the observance of so-called democratic freedoms.

There is an opinion that words, statements, declarations - what the Assembly of the WCC is doing - do not really affect the fate of those Christians who are being killed, say, in the Middle East ...

We are not limited to words and declarations. Declarations are made to be followed by action. Although, unfortunately, very often in the modern world people on declarations end their activity. For example, in 2011, the European Union made an important statement about the persecution of Christians and even proposed a mechanism for their protection, namely, that any political and economic support to countries where Christians are persecuted should be carried out only in exchange for guarantees of the safety of Christians. This is the mechanism that political leaders should have set in motion. But we don't see it happening. So far, the declaration has remained only on paper.

Unfortunately, much of what is said in an inter-Christian context also remains only good wishes. At the same time, many of the churches present at the WCC Assembly have leverage over state leaders. If we talk about the Russian Orthodox Church, then we are closely cooperating with the leadership of the Russian Federation on international issues, including with the aim of protecting Christians in the Middle East. If we talk, for example, about the Church of England, then it also has the opportunity to influence the position of Great Britain in such matters. There are many such examples.

In your report, there are words about how "Christians are the most persecuted religious community on the planet." What is the reason?

Let's look at the whole history of Christianity. For the first three centuries, the Church was persecuted almost everywhere. Then times changed, but waves of persecution against the Church arose again and again, and they came with different sides. For many centuries Orthodox Church lived either under the Arab, then under the Mongol, then under the Turkish yoke. In the 20th century in our country, when godlessness became the official ideology, the Church was subjected to the most severe genocide: most of the clergy were physically exterminated, almost all monasteries and more than ninety percent of churches were closed. And until recently, the Church remained persecuted - the people of my generation still found this time. Christ clearly told his disciples that in this world they would be persecuted. This is what happens, albeit intermittently.

Among many believers in Russia, the attitude towards the WCC is reserved or negative: the ecumenism movement is perceived as an attempt to recognize insignificant differences in creeds, which means, in fact, to recognize the faith itself as insignificant. Nevertheless, the Russian Orthodox Church has been participating in the work of the WCC for many years. What could you say to people who do not understand why all this is necessary?

If such people were with us at the Assembly now, they would see that no one here is engaged in the search for doctrinal compromises or attempts to bring together different Christian denominations. Each confessional group is clearly defined and has its own position, which it expresses and defends. And there is no doctrinal rapprochement. Of course, at the very beginning, when the ecumenical movement was just being created, and this happened in the pre-war period, and when it took shape, and this happened after the war, many people had dreams that by participating in such a movement, doctrinal differences could also be overcome. But now it has become obvious that these dreams are unrealizable, they were based on erroneous analysis.

The differences between Christians of different denominations are much deeper than one might expect. Moreover, these differences are only deepening and new differences appear, which did not exist in the middle of the 20th century, when the World Council of Churches was created and when the ecumenical movement was institutionalized. As an example, I can draw your attention to the gulf between conservatives and liberals that has developed in the Christian community today and that fifty years ago it was even difficult to imagine. I mean the gulf between conservatism and liberalism, not in doctrinal questions, but in moral and social questions.

The Protestant Churches have come a long way in the last fifty years, and it seems to me that this way has taken them farther away from Orthodoxy than the previous four hundred and fifty years of the Reformation's development. We are now separated from each other very far and cannot speak with the Protestants of the West and the North with a single voice. In this regard, the WCC provides an important platform for the exchange of views. For the Russian Orthodox Church, this is primarily a platform where we can express our position in defense of traditional Christian moral values. No matter what theological problematic is now dominant in the WCC. It has largely been brought under the jurisdiction of the Faith and Order Commission, which is older than the WCC itself. But even within the framework of this commission, there is no rapprochement between Christians of different confessions. Such a task has not been set before the WCC for a long time.

- What is your personal result of participation in this Assembly?

This is already the third assembly of the WCC in which I participate as the head of the delegation of the Russian Orthodox Church. The first took place in Harare (Zimbabwe) in 1998. Our Church sent a small delegation of three people there, which expanded to five during their stay there. I was then a hieromonk. And the fact that we did not have a single bishop in our delegation was a signal for the WCC - a signal sent deliberately. We were very dissatisfied with the agenda of the Council, the method of decision-making and the fact that there was less and less space left for witnessing Orthodoxy.

We then took a number of vigorous measures to change this situation, and we changed it. On the initiative of the Russian Orthodox Church, in the same 1998, a pan-Orthodox meeting was convened in Thessaloniki (Greece), the head of the Department for External Church Relations, Metropolitan Kirill (the current Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus' - ed. note) took a tough stance. A statement was adopted in which we demanded that the World Council of Churches listen to the voice of the Orthodox, ensure our participation not only in the discussion of the issues on the agenda, but also in the formation of the agenda itself, ensure that decisions are made only by consensus, provide additional mechanisms for interaction between the Orthodox Churches and the WCC. These mechanisms are still in operation.

The measures taken, in my opinion, helped to rectify the situation to some extent. We now have every opportunity to declare and defend our position in the World Council of Churches. In this regard, the situation in the WCC has changed for the better. The Assembly in Porto Alegre (Brazil) in 2006, where I was also the head of the delegation, and Metropolitan Kirill participated as an honored guest, testified that the WCC was ready to listen to the opinion of the Orthodox Churches and was ready to take into account their position. And this Assembly also demonstrates this readiness. Another thing is that we, of course, do not count on the unanimous consent of all participants. We see in the WCC a clear dominant feature of the liberal wing of world Christianity. I repeat, it occupies a proportionally larger place here than in the real balance of power in the Christian community. But our participation in the work of the WCC has a very definite meaning - we use this platform as a missionary field.

At present, the WCC unites over 330 Churches, denominations and communities in more than 100 countries of the world, representing about 400 million Christians. Today, among the members of the WCC are the Local Orthodox Churches (including the Russian Orthodox Church), two dozen denominations from among the historically established Protestant churches: Anglicans, Lutherans, Calvinists, Methodists and Baptists. Various united and independent churches are also well represented. Of the Orthodox Local Churches, the Serbian Orthodox Church and the Georgian Orthodox Church do not participate in the activities of the WCC.

The Roman Catholic Church, not being a member of the WCC, has been closely cooperating with the Council for over 30 years and sends its representatives to all major conferences of the WCC, as well as to meetings of the Central Committee and the General Assembly. The Pontifical Council for Christian Unity appoints 12 representatives to the WCC Faith and Order Commission and cooperates with the WCC in preparing materials for local communities and parishes used during the annual Week of Prayer for Christian Unity.

GRADUATE WORK

INFLUENCE OF THE IMAGE OF THE FAMILY OF PARENTS ON THE SPECIFICITY OF FAMILY RELATIONS IN MARRIAGE

Introduction

Chapter 2. Findings from the Empirical Study

2.3.1 Research

Chapter 2 Conclusions

Introduction

Relevance. It has already become customary to call the outgoing 20th century a century of revolutions: social, scientific and technical, space. With full right it can be called the century of the revolution of family and marriage relations. Since the beginning of our century, major social changes have begun that have also transformed marriage and the family. In modern society, it has become "fashionable" among young people to live together, without registering their relationship, in the so-called "civil" marriage. And every year the popularity of such relationships is growing.

It should be clarified that in domestic legal practice, a civil marriage is understood as an unregistered relationship between a man and a woman living together in the same territory and conducting a joint household for 1 month.

In domestic psychological science, this important phenomenon and the relationships associated with it remain completely unexplored, while in the West a number of works by psychologists have already appeared devoted to this phenomenon of the social life of society, including the origins, causes of this phenomenon, the relationship between a man and a woman. , parents and children in such a union, the attitude of society towards such cohabiting unions

Family problems have always been at the center of attention of social psychologists. In psychology, a lot of experience has been accumulated in the study of family and marriage: the socio-psychological aspect of communication in the family and its role in the process of personality formation (B.P. Parygin, A.G. Kharchev, V.M. Rodionov); emotional attitude in the family (Z.I. Fainburg); their influence on the stabilization of intra-family relations, the conditions for the stability of the family (Yu.G. Yurkevich). However, the issues of the influence of the parental family on spouses are practically not covered in the literature. And the information that is available is limited mainly to a discussion of theoretical problems, at the same time, issues of organization and features of the application of practical methods are left without attention.

In recent years, as many sociologists and demographers note, a number of negative phenomena have been observed in the development of the family institution in our country - the number of single people is growing, the number of divorces is increasing, etc. The solution of such problems is unthinkable without studying the mechanisms of intra-family relations. In that work. All this, as well as a number of disagreements regarding the criteria for success - the failure of a marriage, allows us to conclude that the modern picture of the processes taking place in the family, affecting the satisfaction of spouses with marriage, needs closer consideration. Therefore, any study (including ours) concerning the modern institution of family and marriage is relevant, because the knowledge gained can enrich both the fundamental theoretical ideas of the scientist and the methodological tools of a practitioner involved in optimizing interpersonal relationships in the family.

Purpose of the study: study of the influence of the image of the parental family on the specifics of family relations in marriage.

Object of study: family image.

Subject of study: the influence of the image of the parental family on the specifics of family relations.

Hypotheses:

The image of the parental family has different influences on the system of relations and values ​​that develop in different types of families.

The appearance of a child in a family can have an impact on marital satisfaction.

To achieve this goal and test the hypotheses put forward, it was necessary to solve the following tasks:

1. Conduct a theoretical analysis and identify possible components of the family image.

2. Consider the main theoretical provisions that define the concept of "civil" marriage.

3. To analyze the degree of consistency in the images of the parental and their families between men and women in various types of families.

4. Consider the influence of the current system of values ​​on satisfaction with marital relations.

5. Consider the influence of the image of the parental family on the value-motivational system of men and women in various types of families.

To solve the tasks and test the initial assumptions, the study used a complex methods and techniques:

Theoretical: analysis of psychological literature on the research topic;

Psychodiagnostic: the technique "Scale of the family environment" adapted by S.Yu. Kupriyanov (1985); method "Value Orientations" by M. Rokeach (1978); test - the Marriage Satisfaction Questionnaire (MSQ), developed by V.V. Stolin, T.L. Romanova, G.P. Butenko.

Statistical: analysis of mean values ​​of features, comparison of distributions, correlation and dispersion analyses.

The study data were processed using the "STATISTICA" package.

The total sample in the empirical study consisted of 30 married couples, aged 18-34, residents of Tomsk. All couples have been married for one to three years. The sample was conditionally divided into three groups. The first group includes couples living in " civil marriage", to the second group - men and women who are officially married, and to the third group, respectively, couples who are officially married and have children.

Scientific novelty and theoretical significance research is that in the work:

Scientific ideas about the concept of "image of the family" and "civil marriage" are generalized and systematized.

Significant differences in these concepts are revealed.

Practical significance research lies in the possibility of using the results obtained in family counseling, psychological correction and other areas of practical psychology. Established dependencies allow predicting possible problems in marriage, to ensure the prevention of family and child-parent relationships.

Scientific validity and the validity of the results obtained is ensured by a comprehensive analysis of scientific literature on the problem of family relations and methods of studying it; the use of methods adequate to the purpose, subject and object of the study, the representativeness and balance of the sample (30 couples), the use of various methods of mathematical statistics for data processing.

Chapter I. The image of the family of the spouses, as a component of the image of the world

The first chapter deals with the concepts of the image of the world and the image of the family in the works of foreign and domestic psychologists; reveals the features of the structure of the family image; definition criteria. The concept of marriage is described, the features of "civil" marriage are revealed. A review of domestic and foreign literature is also made regarding such a concept as satisfaction with marriage.

1.1 The concept of the "image of the world" in psychological science

In the works of researchers dealing with the problems of forming the image of the world, there is no well-established conceptual apparatus, there are a number of categories that do not have a single interpretation. An appeal to the sphere of the formation of the image of the world is found in various fields of knowledge: psychology, pedagogy, philosophy, ethnology, cultural studies, sociology, etc. The category "image of the world" is relatively recent and is designated as a "snapshot" of the work of consciousness, as a source of images.

In the field of psychology, the theoretical development of the category "image of the world" is presented in the works of G.M. Andreeva, E.P. Belinskaya, V.I. Brul, G.D. Gacheva, E.V. Galazhinsky, T.G. Grushevitskaya, L.N. Gumilev, V.E. Klochko, O.M. Krasnoryadtseva, V.G. Krysko, V. S. Kukushkina, Z.I. Levina, A.N. Leontiev, SV. Lurie, V.I. Mathis, Yu.P. Platonova, A.P. Sadokhin, E.A. Sarakueva, G.F. Sevilgaeva, S.D. Smirnova, T.G. Stefanenko, L.D. Stolyarenko, V.N. Filippova, K. Jaspers and others.

For the first time the concept of "image of the world" in psychology was introduced by A.N. Leontiev, he defined this category as a mental reflection taken in the system of connections and relations of the subject with the world around him. In his writings, the image of the world is considered as a holistic, multi-level system of a person's ideas about the world, other people, about himself and his activities. A.N. Leontiev studied the process of the appearance of the image of the world, explaining it by the active nature that sets the image as a moment of its movement. The image arises only in activity and therefore is inseparable from it, the problem of generating an objective image of the world is the problem of perception, "the world in its remoteness from the subject is amodal".

Based on the provisions of A.N. Leontiev, N.G. Osukhova builds through the prism of the subjective image of the human world, comparing it with the concept of "myth" in the cultural sense that this term has acquired today. She defines the image of the world as "an individual myth of a person about himself, other people, the life world in the time of his life." This researcher considers this category as a holistic mental formation, noting that it exists at the cognitive and figurative-emotional levels. Considering the constituent components included in the image of the world, N.G. Osukhova singles out the "image of the Self" as a system of ideas and attitudes of a person towards himself in the course of life, including everything that a person considers his own. In addition, the image of another person, the image of the world as a whole and the psychological time of the individual are considered.

A.N. Leontiev, revealing the structure of the image of the world, made a conclusion regarding its multidimensionality. Moreover, the number of dimensions was determined not only by three-dimensional space, but also by the fourth - time, and the fifth quasi-dimension, "in which the objective world opens up to man" . The explanation of the fifth dimension is based on the fact that when a person perceives an object, he perceives it "not only in its spatial dimensions and in time, but also in its meaning" . It is with the problem of perception that A.N. Leontiev linked the construction of a multidimensional image of the world in the mind of an individual, his image of reality. Moreover, he called the psychology of perception concrete scientific knowledge about how, in the process of their activity, individuals build an image of the world "in which they live, act, which they themselves remake and partially create; this knowledge is also about how the image of the world functions. mediating their activity in the objectively real world". .

Considering the dimension of the image of the human world, V.E. Klochko emphasizes its multidimensionality, revealing it as follows: "A multidimensional image of the world, therefore, can only be the result of a reflection of a multidimensional world. The assumption that the human world has four dimensions, while others are added to the image, making it multidimensional, is without any foundation "First of all, it is difficult to imagine the very process of introducing new dimensions to the emerging image. In addition, the main thing will be lost: the ability to explain the mechanism of selectivity of mental reflection. Measurements characteristic of a person proper (meanings, meanings and values) represent objects included in the human world, and are qualities of the objects themselves. This ensures their difference from an infinite set of objective phenomena, simultaneously affecting the human senses, but not penetrating into consciousness, thereby determining both the content of consciousness at each moment of time and its value-semantic richness" (55 ).

S.D. Smirnov notes the main characteristics of the image of the world:

1. The amodality of the image of the world is explained as follows: “These properties (i.e., supersensible components, such as meaning, meaning) are also directly included in our image of the world, like the sensually perceived properties of the first kind, although they, as a rule, are not can be identified on the basis of perception and are not discovered by the subject in the course of his individual activity, but are products of the socio-historical process, being fixed in concepts, language, cultural objects, community norms, etc. The image of the human world is a universal form of organizing his knowledge, in other words, the image of the world is not so much a reflection of the past and present as a reflection of the future, i.e. it is a system of our expectations, forecasts about what will happen in the near or distant future in the conditions of our inaction or when performing certain actions, deeds.

2. The holistic nature of the image of the world. Those. the image of the world does not consist of images of individual phenomena and objects, but from the very beginning it develops and functions as a whole. This means that any image is nothing

other than an element of the image of the world, and its essence is not in itself, but in that place, in the function that it performs in a holistic reflection of reality.

3. Multilevel structure of the image of the world. Following A.N. Leontiev S.D. Smirnov also distinguishes between nuclear and surface structures of the image of the world in structural terms. This scheme (image) of the world has the character of a nuclear structure in relation to what appears on the surface in the form of one or another modally designed and, therefore, subjective (A.N. Leontiev, 1979, p. 9) picture of the world (visual, auditory, etc.).

4. Emotional and personal meaning of the image of the world. "If the image of the world really is a reflection of the future, i.e. it is a system of forecasts and extrapolation, then the selectivity of such forecasting is quite obvious. It is, first of all, built in relation to important and significant events for a person that are associated with the activity of the subject and his needs "(130, p.154).

5. Secondary image of the world in relation to the outside world. “In the genetic aspect, the primary is the direct practical contact of the subject with the environment and other people. The image of the world, of course, is secondary in relation to the objective external world, of which it is a subjective reflection (130, p. 155).

S.D. Smirnov continued in his works the consideration of the category "image of the world", noting the possibility of extending this concept to the area of ​​rational knowledge - thinking. First of all, he made an attempt to analyze the application of this concept in other psychological schools. In particular, he notes that the concept of "image of the world" is widely used by cognitive psychologists, who often use such expressions as a picture of the world, an idea of ​​oneself and the universe, and a model of the universe. But at the same time, the image, the picture of the world is understood as a certain set of images individual items and phenomena that act as primary in relation to it. Proponents of this approach have not been able to overcome the stimulus-reactive model of man, they follow the path of increasing complexity of this model, placing more and more complex intermediate variables between S (stimulus) and R (response). It is as such a middle link in S-O-R pattern all variants of cognitive formations are considered, including the image, picture of the world.

Along with the category "image of the world" there is the concept of "representation of the world", however, according to a number of authors, they are not identical. These concepts are divorced, for example, in the works of V.V. Petukhov, in which the first is associated with problems of perception, the second - with various mental representations. An analysis of a number of works by psychologists shows that the authors agree that the image of the world is functionally and genetically primary in relation to any specific image or sensory experience, i.e. any image that arises in a person depends on what image of the world is formed in him. The essence of this phenomenon should be sought in the processes of the work of consciousness, which serves as a source of formation of images. The reason for the generation and transformation of a certain image of the world lies in the mechanism of the functioning of human consciousness, which draws our attention to the consideration of this phenomenon.

In psychology, consciousness is represented as the highest level of mental reflection and self-regulation of a person. Usually there are two levels - public and individual consciousness. Public consciousness includes various social conventions, norms and rules that are projected into the individual. K. Abulkhanova-Slavskaya, exploring human consciousness, notes that it perceives not what is in the world as a whole, but, first of all, what is relevant for the individual, i.e. what seems significant in the image of the world, and this determines the direction of the work of consciousness. A.V. Libin believes that the differences in the inner world of a person lie in the differences in preference systems. In his opinion, consciousness is determined by the values ​​and meanings of the set of polar scales that set the coordinates of individuality in the flow of various events imprinted in the psyche. V.E. Klochko considers the formation of consciousness, deriving the source of human development from the constant contradiction between the way of life and the image of the world. V.E. Klochko notes that the image of the world does not arise in the mind from birth, but is formed gradually, becoming more complex as it acquires new coordinates. The multidimensional world of a person is explained as a special layer of psychological reality that mediates the relationship between the subject and the object.

Thus, analyzing the above data, it can be argued that the category "image of the world" is a multilevel system, it is multidimensional, selective, and includes everything that is significant for a person. We assume that the "image of the family" is an element of the "image of the world" and directly depends on how the "image of the world" is formed.

1.2 The problem of the "image of the family" in modern psychology

The problem of the family has always been of mass and sustained interest. There are many definitions of the family that single out various aspects of family life as family-forming relations, starting from the simplest (for example, a family is a group of people loving friend friend, or a group of people who have common ancestors or live together) and ending with extensive lists of family signs. Among the definitions of the family, taking into account the criteria of socio-psychological integrity, the definition of the family as an open social system, which has a number of the following features, attracts:

1) the system as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts,

2) something that affects the system as a whole affects everyone separate element inside her

3) a disorder or change in one part of the unity is reflected in a change in other parts and the system as a whole (JacksonD., 1965).

That is, the family, as a living organism, constantly exchanges information and energy with the environment and is an open system, the elements of which interact with each other and with external institutions ( educational institutions, production, the church, etc.) Forces from outside and from within have both positive and negative influences on it. In turn, the family influences other systems in a similar way (MinuchinS., FishmanH.S., 1981).

Thus, the family system works under the influence of the laws of homeostasis and development, has its own structure (the structure of family roles, family subsystems, external and internal boundaries between them) and parameters (family rules, interaction stereotypes, family myths, family histories, family stabilizers).

The ideas of family members about their family are saturated with prominent truths - family postulates. Family postulates E.G. Eidemiller defines as the judgments of family members about their family (that is, about themselves and about other family members, about individual scenes in the life of the family and about the family as a whole), which seem obvious to them and by which they are guided (consciously or unconsciously) in their behavior.

Also, the internal image of the family includes the individual's idea of ​​himself, his needs, opportunities, other family members with whom the individual is connected by seed relations, and the nature of these relations.

The general development of the family’s internal image of itself takes place throughout the life cycle of many family generations: when a person learns to be aware of what is happening in the family, to understand the interconnection of various aspects of her life, relationships, feelings of all its members. This happens due to: a) socialization (the child learns this from parents in the course of everyday communication and transfers the acquired skills to the family that he creates himself); b) thanks to culture and mass media; c) thanks to interpersonal communication, "interpersonal network", which includes the family system (Bowen M., 1966, 1971).

Thus, the idea of ​​an individual about the life of his family is an independent, complex mechanism that is necessary for the successful functioning of the family. T.M. Mishina in 1983 introduced the concept of "the image of the family, or the image of" we "as a phenomenon of family self-consciousness, by which she meant a holistic, integrated education. "One of the most important functions of family self-consciousness is the holistic regulation of family behavior, coordinating the positions of its individual members. An adequate image of "we" determines the lifestyle of the family, in particular marital relations, the nature and rules of individual and group behavior. An inadequate image of "we" is a coordinated selective representation of the nature of relationships in dysfunctional families, creating for each member of the family and the family as a whole, an observable public image - a family myth. The purpose of such a myth is to disguise those unsatisfied needs, conflicts that family members have, and to agree on some idealized ideas about each other. For harmonious families, a consistent image of "we" is characteristic, for dysfunctional families - a family myth.

Synonyms of the image of the family are the concepts of "family myth", "beliefs", "beliefs", "family credo", "role expectations", "coordinated protection", "we image", "naive family psychology", etc. (Eidemiller E. G., Yustitsky V.V., 1999).

Under the family myth, many authors understand a certain unconscious mutual agreement between family members, the function of which is to prevent the awareness of rejected images (ideas) about the family as a whole and about each of its members (Mishina T.M., 1983; Eidemiller E.G. ., 1994).

Numerous studies by psychologists and sociologists have revealed that the ideas of young men and women about their future family life are formed spontaneously in the parental family - either as a desire to repeat, or as a desire to do everything differently, etc. Moreover, in many cases, these ideas make up for what was missing in the parental home, that is, they are of a kind of compensatory nature.

The mentality of Russians is characterized by the sacrifice of life goals in favor of the claims of their children: children should be better educated and live better than their parents. Exaggerated parental claims directly affect children, who also have inflated aspirations, and real opportunities for their realization are sharply reduced.

As a result of a number of reasons, modern teenagers develop a deformed, distorted image of the family.

N.I. Shevandrin identifies the following factors that contribute to the formation of inadequate marriage and family attitudes among the younger generation (Shevandrin. Social psychology in education. - M .: VLADOS, 1995) .:

1. immoral behavior of parents (alcoholism, deviant behavior);

2. incomplete family composition;

3. insufficient level of knowledge and skills of parents in raising children;

4. negativity of relations between parents;

5. conflict relations in the family;

6. intervention by relatives in family affairs, raising children.

So, now you can see a lot of existing definitions and concepts of the image of the family, in which you can clearly identify common features:

1. the image of the family is a socio-psychological phenomenon (holistic, integrated education), which is a family consciousness, family identity.

2. one of the most important functions of the family image is the holistic regulation of the behavior of the family, the coordination of the positions of its individual members.

3. The image of the family is determined through the main components of the structure of the family as a system.

4. The image of the family usually functions within the rules of the family system and mainly at an unconscious level.

1.3 The influence of the parental family on the system of relationships in marriage

In the family, a model of intra-family relations is laid, skills of communication with different people- by age, interests, personality traits. Socially adaptive skills and abilities of different levels and orientation are formed.

Most often in the literature, the influence of parents (more often mother) on mental development child. There are a number of theoretical approaches to understanding the role and content of parent-child relationships formulated by different psychological schools. These include: the psychoanalytic model (Z. Freud, E. Erickson, F. Dolto, D.V. Winnicott, K. Bütner, E. Berne), the behavioral model (J. Watson, B.F. Skinner, R. Sire , A. Bandura), humanistic model (A. Adler, R. Dreykurs, D. Nelsen, L. Lott, K. Rogers, T. Gordon). In "psychoanalytic" and "behavioral" models, the child is presented rather as an object of parental efforts, as a being that needs to be socialized, disciplined, and adapted to life in society. The "humanistic" model implies, first of all, the help of parents in the individual development of the child. Therefore, the desire of parents for emotional closeness, understanding, sensitivity in relations with children is welcomed. However, the influence of the parental family remains practically unexplored.

A special place in the process of forming positive marriage and family attitudes is occupied by the period of childhood, which is associated with the parental family. At this time, an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe family is formed, the personality traits of the future family man are laid. The social orientation of children in social and historical experience begins with the comprehension of the image of the family (A.V. Zaporozhets, A.N. Leontiev, V.A. Petrovsky, N.N. Poddyakov).

The family is a multifaceted system in which there is not only interaction and relationship in the "parent-child" dyad, but also the interpenetration of the world of adults into the world of children, which can objectively contribute to the formation of an "image of the family" in children.

The family atmosphere contributes to the development of a rich emotional life in the child (empathy, sympathy, compassion and grief), which is important for the formation of a positive family image.

I.V. Grebennikov notes that in the process of life itself, young people adopt from the older generation "a lot of knowledge about relationships to a person of the opposite sex, about marriage, about the family, they learn the norms of behavior in family life. (Grebennikov. Fundamentals of family life. - M .: Education, 1991 ).

N. Pezeshkian, the founder of positive psychotherapy, is confident in the importance of the psychological "heritage" of a person and the indifference of origin as a factor of identity. He uses the concept of "family concepts", which define the rules of relations to people and things: from one generation to another, not so much material goods are transferred, but strategies for processing conflicts and forming symptoms, worldview structures and attitude structures that pass from parents to children. Concepts originate in the critical experiences of one of the family members, in religious and philosophical ideas, take root, assimilate children and are again transmitted to the next generation of children. Examples of family concepts: "What people will say", or "Neatness is half life", "Nothing is easy", "Loyalty to death", "Achievement, honesty, thrift", etc. They are partly realized and formulated by the carrier in a concise form in the form of favorite sayings, instructions to children, comments on situations: “Be faithful and honest, but show what you are capable of” or “We should have everything, as in best houses". For the most part, they remain unconscious, they act indirectly.

So, F. Le Play believes that if a child continues to live with his parents after his marriage, then a vertical connection is formed in an extended home group. An authoritarian model of family relations is being formed. If, on the contrary, he leaves the parental home after adolescence, starts his own household for his own marriage union, then the liberal model comes into play, asserting the independence of the individual. For the liberal model, the continuity of the family group, its continuation, is not a value.

The Swiss psychologist A. Zondi (psychology of fate. - Yekaterinburg, 1994) design speaks of the "generic unconscious" as a form of mental heredity. A person in his life tends to realize the claims of his ancestors - parents, grandfathers, great-grandfathers. This influence is especially pronounced, according to the author, at important moments of life that have a fateful character: when a person makes his professional choice or is looking for a job, a life partner. Thus, a person, solving the most important issues of self-determination, is not completely "free", he is not a "blank slate", since in his person he represents the clan, his ancestors, who delegated "assignments" to him. However, this does not mean that the fate of a person is rigidly programmed and it remains only to follow some instinctive impulses. A person can overcome imposed tendencies, rely on his own internal reserves and build his own destiny consciously.

In Russian psychology, E.G. Eidemiller and V.V. Justickis consider pathological family inheritance, which is characteristic of dysfunctional families, as the formation, fixation and transmission of emotional and behavioral responses from grandparents to parents, from parents to children, grandchildren, etc. rigid, irrational, rigidly interconnected beliefs, borrowed from the representatives of the older generation, form a personality incapable of adaptation, suffering from borderline neuropsychiatric disorders.

It can be noted with regret that so far it is the phenomena of the distorting influence of unconscious determinants on the behavior of a young person, the phenomena of "negative" psychological inheritance, that have attracted more attention from specialists. Thus, Artamonova E. connects this with the fact that psychologists and psychotherapists are primarily interested in people who have not resolved their internal conflicts and are in a state of crisis.

In the psychology of family relations, modern psychologists highlight the concept of duplication of parental properties, which suggests that a person learns to fulfill the male and female roles to a large extent from his parents and unconsciously uses the model of parental relations in his family (V.S. Torokhtiy, 1996).

Preparation for family life unfolds early in life. Marital and parental socialization, as noted by D.N. Isaev, V.E. Kagan, begins in the 2nd year of life, when a child in family communication perceives the first examples of masculinity and femininity. The matrimonial and parental behavior of the mother and father still remains in the shadows, is not realized by the child, but it is they who find themselves in the role of conductors of sex roles. At 2-3 years old, when the child knows his gender and begins to correlate "his" I "with ideas about people of his own and the other sex, in role playing he carries out masculine and feminine behavior as, first of all, marital and parental (sociosexual games of "father-mother", "mother-daughter", etc.). These games reflect the formation of the first, simplest level of family attitudes, which correspond to the general stereotypes of the family. Already in these games, boys perform roles associated with leaving the family and returning to it (hunting, war, work, etc.), and girls perform roles associated with the house; boys are more eccentric and instrumental in their playing style, while girls are more concentric and emotional. These playful reincarnations are one of the strong ways of forming marital and parental roles. The main mechanism of this formation is identification and imitation. The child identifies with the parent of the same gender and imitates his behavior in cases where the parent is cold, rude, unfair, cruel.

Many adults in their family reproduce the "handwriting" of the parental family. These deep unconscious or psychologically conflict-conscious identification attitudes, according to D.N. Isaeva and V.E. Kagan, with all the difficulty of their correction, they must still be controlled by adults so as not to be reproduced again in children. To a certain extent, the attitudes acquired at this age also depend on the structure of the child's character.

At the same age - 3-5 years old - children ask their parents for a brother or sister, they are touchingly affectionate and caring with the younger ones. The appearance of another child in the family is usually not accompanied by childish jealousy. Not every family has a second child at this time. But the reaction of parents to children's requests becomes essential - condemning, repulsive, forbidding or gently explaining. Sometimes parents try to take a detour, a substitute way of acquiring pets. This is the age of intensive laying of the foundations of love for children.

The younger student is already trying to understand the family situation, to understand and evaluate the positions of the parents, to develop their own. In conflicts with a parent, a conscious desire to "be different" may already appear. During the period of sexual homogenization, it can sometimes be observed that while one child approaches a parent of the same sex, another seeks closeness with an adult of the same sex outside the family. This is a serious signal for parents, indicating their small educational potential in the future. The less a child is emotionally satisfied with the situation in the parental family, the more he apparently perceives extra-family patterns - and then much depends on what these patterns are.

Adolescence poses increasingly complex challenges for educators. Emancipatory tendencies, high criticality of a teenager make him a strict judge of relations in the parental family. Reality is often perceived through the prism of one's own, prone to naive idealization, romantic love. Many call it trifles, although, in fact, these are the most important problems that create difficulties for both a teenager and adults.

For a teenager - because he is not yet ready for this: falling in love and his own family are as close to him as they are far from each other. The concept of "having a child" is associated by adolescents mainly with pregnancy and in best case with a baby in a stroller, but not with many years of worries about him. Death is associated with hospitals and funerals, but not with a sense of loss. A well-known difficulty is that the feelings of adolescents are immature, the ideas are naive and contrasting, and the openness to the world is enormous.

For adults - because they see in the relationship of a teenager what they internally fear. Parents often tend to equate adolescent infatuation with love leading to marriage. As a result, a contradictory system of relations develops, requiring parents to make efforts, often considerable ones, in order to take positions that reduce stress.

General standards of family life and individual attitudes are not easy to reconcile even for an adult. It is very important that a teenager can behave and express his opinion without fear of judgmental reactions of educators. D.N. Isaev and V.E. Kagan indicate that the task is to form such skills of individual refraction of universal and enduring values ​​that would not contradict either these values ​​or individual needs and characteristics. The family has great opportunities for instilling in young men masculine honor, respect for the girl, and in girls pride, modesty, self-esteem; the formation of self-control, self-discipline, endurance and a sense of responsibility in youth.

The world of childhood that opens up to adults in modern times, the supervalue of an only child, the connection of plans for the future is not with skills practical life, but with the search for ways to develop real or imaginary giftedness - all this leads to the fact that many children live outside the family life, they are not familiar with it. When yesterday's "child" finds himself in his own family, he is striking in his helplessness in elementary situations.

Young spouses often expect each other to take on the role of a parent, but neither one nor the other can do this. It may seem that they are exaggerating, but they only literally reproduce the prerequisites for the collapse of many families.

Preparation for family life puts the task of forming the motivation for marriage, and expectations for it. The stereotypes offered to the younger generation, the leitmotif of which is limited to two words - "love" and "happiness", are superficial even in comparison with the real attitudes of young people.

A special section of the preparation of a family man is the education of love for children. In the works of V.V. Boyko shows that it is an indicator of the strategy of reproductive behavior and is determined by largely unconscious attitudes, which, if they disagree with the declared opinions, can lead to a discrepancy between the desired and actual number of children. Of particular importance is the upbringing of adequate motherhood attitudes in girls.

So, according to the works devoted to this issue, we can safely say that ideas about the family affect the family itself in the future. The formation of value and moral orientations towards one's future family occurs mainly on the basis of the image of the parental family, but is characterized by a more pronounced focus on one's own well-being and comfort. However, not all parents are prepared to teach their children. As a rule, the parental family does not set itself the purposeful task of educating their children's ideas, functional-role expectations and skills to create a full-fledged family. But it is precisely in adolescence that the moment of analysis of the received

social experience and the formation on its basis of their own images of the future family. Thus, in order to prevent psychological difficulties in a family union, it is necessary to turn not to identified problems, but to prevention, which will help prevent them. For this, it is necessary to know the mechanisms of formation of family representations. Knowledge of the mechanisms and developed psychological programs for prevention can provide answers to many of the demands of society associated with dysfunctional families.

1.3 The concept of marriage and its main types

Marriage is a social mechanism designed to regulate and manage those numerous human relationships that follow from the physical fact of heterosexuality. As such an institution, marriage functions in two ways:

1. Regulation of personal sexual relations.

2. Regulation of the transmission and receipt of inheritance, succession and public order, which is its more ancient and original function.

The law does not contain a definition of the concept of marriage. An analysis of the norms of the RF IC regulating the conditions and procedure for entering into marriage, as well as its legal consequences, makes it possible to identify the main features of marriage, on the basis of which marriage can be defined as a voluntary and equal union between a man and a woman, concluded with the aim of creating a family, subject to the conditions and procedures established by law, and giving rise to mutual rights and obligations of spouses. [Fenenko Yu.V.]

The form of marriage is understood as the method of its conclusion established by law. The legal form of marriage in Russia is the conclusion of marriage through its state registration in the registry office.

The state registration of a marriage has a legal significance: from that moment on, the mutual rights and obligations of the spouses arise. The state registration of a marriage also has a probative value: on the basis of the marriage record made, the spouses are issued a marriage certificate and a corresponding mark is made in their passports, certifying the fact of the state of these persons in legal marriage. [Reshetnikov F. M.].

However, there is also the so-called civil marriage. Sometimes it is called actual, colloquially referred to as cohabitation. Psychologists have their own term - the intermediate family, emphasizing that at any moment it can take some final form: it will fall apart or be documented. In such a family it is difficult to make long-term plans. A man and a woman, living under the same roof for years, remain "he" and "she", while the marital "we" has a completely different quality of feeling themselves and life in general [Kulikova T. A.].

Actual marriage refers to the relationship between the persons who are members of them, satisfying all the requirements and conditions for marriage, but not registered in the manner prescribed by law. An actual marriage cannot give rise to those legal consequences that arise from a registered marriage. No legislative prohibition can exclude from ordinary life extramarital affairs of a long nature, which the parties themselves, whether they want it or not, recognize an actual marriage. The laws of many European countries and the United States do not strictly distinguish between registered and actual marriage in terms of the consequences they generate. For example, in Scotland both civil and religious marriages are recognized as equivalent, and a marriage that arose as a result of actual cohabitation is also recognized as valid.

Unregistered couples are a fairly common phenomenon in the modern industrial and urbanized world. In the 1980s, about 3% of the US population were such couples, and about 30% of Americans had experience of cohabitation for at least 6 months. In Denmark and Sweden already in the mid-70s. approximately 30% of unmarried women aged 20 to 24 lived with men. Therefore, non-marital union in this age group is more common than formal marriage. In most other European countries during the same period, only 10-12% in this age group were cohabiting, but later on the number of unmarried people living together also increased. As noted by D. Craig in the Russian Federation, the situation is similar, in any case, the trend is the same.

R. Zider believes that unregistered cohabitation is only a preliminary stage to the subsequent marriage ("trial marriage") and that this is to some extent an alternative to traditional marriage. The fact is that relationships in unregistered cohabitation can be both formal, short-term, and deep, long-term. In the first case, life together in a "trial marriage" lasts a relatively short time, the marriage is either concluded or the relationship is interrupted. At the same time, the number of cases of cohabitation, which differs from marriage only in the absence of legal registration, is increasing, the birth of children in long-term relationships is often welcomed.

D. Craig and R. Zider analyzed the arguments "for" that are usually given by supporters of unregistered cohabitation and cited the most common ones:

this form of relationship is "training" of a certain type;

in cases of unregistered cohabitation, strength and compatibility are tested;

in such variants of cohabitation, relations are freer, there is no coercion;

undocumented cohabitation provides more spirituality and satisfaction in relationships, the so-called "unmarried family life";

It should be added that in addition to psychological, there are also socio-economic reasons that are peculiar for Russia, giving rise to the option of unregistered cohabitation: housing problems; registration issue; the possibility of receiving a child allowance for a single mother; as well as an earlier onset of puberty and, as a result, sexual activity; growth in the material well-being of young people and, as a result, a decrease in their dependence on their parents and the emergence of the opportunity to live separately from them; a long period of education and career growth to fully provide for the family.

Modern science describes the characteristics of people prone to unregistered cohabitation. The generalized psychological portrait of a representative of this population is characterized by more liberal attitudes, less religiosity, a high degree of androgyny, low school success during childhood and adolescence, less social success, however, as a rule, these people come from very successful families.

"Experimental" forms of life require a higher level of reflection and communication, and not least the strength to resist the pressure of social norms. For this reason, their distribution cannot but depend on social affiliation and level of education.

However, in addition to the positive aspects of "actual marriage", there are also negative ones. Thus, studies show that unmarried couples are less happy and prosperous than married ones. Annual rates of depression among cohabiting couples are more than 3 times higher than among married couples.

The most important characteristic feature of cohabiting couples, as noted by studies, as a rule, is a lower income. Cohabiting couples are more economically similar to single parents than married couples. In 1996, the poverty rate for children living with married parents was about 6%, while for children living with cohabiting parents, the figure was 32%. Marriage has been found to be an institution that increases wealth. According to the study, cohabitants with children have only about two thirds of the income of married couples with children, mainly due to the fact that the average income of male cohabitants is only about half of the income married men. A selection effect is at work here, with less affluent men and their partners choosing cohabitation over marriage. It is also true that when men get married, especially those who intend to have children, tend to become more responsible and more productive. They earn more than their unmarried counterparts.

Also, according to research, three-quarters of children born to cohabiting parents will see their parents divorce before they reach 16, while only about one-third of children living with married parents will experience this problem. Further, it was found that children living with mothers and their cohabitants have significantly more behavioral problems (deviant behavior) and lower academic performance than children from intact families.

It is shown that experience life together at the average level, it has no effect on the success of a subsequent marriage, i.e. you can "train" and "combine", but there is no guarantee for the future. Therefore, if you are looking for a form of "training" for marriage, then you should turn to the parental family. It is in the family where a person grew up that a person is prepared for marriage.

1.4 Marriage satisfaction phenomenon

The study of the phenomenon of satisfaction with marriage in domestic and foreign psychology has been carried out for about three decades as part of a general approach to studying the quality of marriage. During this time, many factors have been identified that confirm the versatility of this concept. But due to the fact that the institution of the family undergoes serious changes over time, the study of satisfaction with marriage will always be relevant.

In Russian psychology, one of the first to highlight the problem of the quality of marriage was V.A. Sysenko and S.I. Hunger. According to V.A. Sysenko, satisfaction with family life is a very broad concept and includes the degree of satisfaction of all the needs of the individual. For each of the spouses in marriage, some minimum necessary level of satisfaction of needs must be achieved, beyond which discomfort already arises, negative feelings and emotions are formed and consolidated.

In the research work of Shavlov A.V. gives a definition of such a concept as "marriage satisfaction": "marital satisfaction with marriage is nothing more than the subjective perception by spouses through the prism of sociocultural norms of the effectiveness of the functioning of the family in terms of satisfying their individual needs."

Often used synonyms for the term “marriage satisfaction” are “marriage success”, “marriage stability”, “family cohesion”, “spousal compatibility”, etc.

Marriage stability and marital satisfaction are rather related characteristics, which has been noted in a number of empirical studies. In addition, E.F. Achildieva proposes to consider these phenomena as different levels of relations between spouses. The first, most general, is the level of stability of marriage, that is, the legal safety of marriage (lack of divorce). The second level is the level of "adaptability in marriage", "adaptability of spouses"; there is not only the absence of a divorce or a pre-divorce situation, but also the community of a married couple in terms of such characteristics as the division of household labor, the upbringing of children, etc. The third level is the deepest. This is the level of "success" or "success" of marriage, which is characterized by the coincidence of the value orientations of the spouses.

Interesting in this regard are the works of T.A. Gurko. They highlight the following factors of instability of a young urban family: short duration of premarital acquaintance of future spouses, early age of marriage (up to 21 years), unsuccessful marriage of parents, premarital pregnancy, negative attitude towards a spouse, divergence of spouses in relation to such important problems of their future life as the importance of professional activity for women, the distribution of power in the family, the nature of spending free time, the distribution of family responsibilities and the idea of ​​the desired number of children. Interestingly, as shown in the study, factors of economic well-being affect marital success, depending on where in the hierarchy of values ​​they occupy among spouses, and depending on how similar their expectations are in this regard.

Data on the negative impact of early marriage age on marital satisfaction is confirmed by a number of studies conducted on various populations of respondents (Yurkevich).

A number of researchers (L.Ya. Gozman, Yu.E. Aleshina) believe that the term "marriage satisfaction" has a psychological meaning and cannot be replaced by the term "marriage stability", the psychological content of which is problematic; that the resilience of successful and dysfunctional families is different and determined by various factors.

Enough a large number of works is devoted to the study of personal and intra-marriage factors of satisfaction with marriage. Perhaps the most popular among them is the problem of the similarity-difference of spouses in terms of personal characteristics, as well as role and value orientations. The vast majority of the results clearly demonstrate the importance of the principle of similarity for the success of marriage in terms of global personality characteristics or, as most authors put it, by personality types. Such data were obtained in the work of A.I. Auchustinavichyute, who studied married couples on the basis of the Jungian typology, in a survey of married couples conducted by T.V. Galkina and D.V. Olshansky. Using the Eysenck test and a number of other methods, they showed that in happy families the opposite personal characteristics of the spouses are smoothed out.

A large block of works is devoted to the problem of the connection between the similarity of attitudes, and especially the attitudes of spouses in the sphere of family roles, and satisfaction with marriage. A significant contribution to the development of this problem was made by I.N. Obozov and A.N. Obozova (Volkova). The data obtained on the basis of the methods developed and adapted by them indicate that the discrepancy between the opinions of the spouses regarding the functions of the family, the nature of the distribution and performance of the main family roles leads to the disorganization of the family, and subsequently to its disintegration. They also showed that not only did spouses' actual concurrence of opinions on these issues affect their compatibility, but also the perceived similarity of their own opinions with the opinion of another positively affects the success of the marriage. Similar results were obtained in a number of other works. So, in the study of V.V. Matina and N.F. Fedotova revealed that satisfaction with marriage is closely correlated with such indicators as:

1) the similarity of the role expectations of the husband and wife;

2) role matching of husband and wife;

3) the level of understanding of the role expectations of the other by each of the spouses.

A number of studies have demonstrated the influence of the characteristics of communication in the family on marital satisfaction. So, in the works of Novikova E.V., Sikorova V.I., Oshchepkova L.P. It is shown that successful communication in the family provides a good climate in it, contributes to the development of strong emotional ties within the family, and has a positive effect on the process of raising children. Communication disorders lead to serious conflicts in the relationship of spouses, contribute to the formation of such negative social phenomena as alcoholism and adolescent illegal behavior.

Marriage satisfaction is also closely related to how spouses behave in various life situations. So, for example, the study of L.S. Shilova demonstrates a close relationship between the nature of the spouses' leisure activities and marital satisfaction. Satisfied spouses spend much more time together during their holidays than unsatisfied ones. An important indicator of good intra-family relations is also the presence of mutual friends; dissatisfied spouses most often have their own circle of friends.

Other scholars have looked at marital satisfaction through the lens of needs. V.P. Levkovich and O.E. Zuskova note that satisfaction with marital relationships is determined by the satisfaction of a number of basic needs in marriage (communication, knowledge, protection of the self-concept, mutual understanding, etc.). These needs are not identical in spouses, but are in many ways contradictory. V.A. Sysenko notes that the emotional and psychological stability of marriage depends on the degree of satisfaction of needs for mutual understanding, psychological support, mutual assistance, respect for self-esteem, a sense of self-importance, significance. Marriage is stable if marital communication carries a positive charge. In the relationship of spouses, a situation may arise when one of them becomes an obstacle to meeting any needs of the other. Another more complex aspect of marital life satisfaction, according to V.A. Sysenko, is the dissatisfaction of a person with himself.

A number of authors to determine satisfaction with marriage use the principle of similarity, consent in interpersonal relations of spouses according to various parameters. So, G.I. Lucky calculated satisfaction with marital relationships based on the level of satisfaction with intimate life, the quality of fulfillment of family roles and responsibilities, and also on the basis of the degree of agreement on major family problems. M. Argyle discovered three areas for measuring the degree of satisfaction with marriage: material (tangible) assistance, emotional support, and community of interests.

Important and interesting is the fact mentioned by some researchers that marital satisfaction itself is primarily a phenomenon of interpersonal perception. Using the scheme for studying social perception, proposed by G.M. Andreeva, we can say that satisfaction with marriage is a characteristic of group members' perception of the effectiveness of their group's functioning.

T.V. Zaitseva, summarizing a number of works, identifies four groups of factors that affect the satisfaction of spouses with their relationships.

Social factors operating at the level of society: urbanization, migration, industrialization, emancipation of women, instability of social systems, decline in the level of material and economic living conditions, decline in the social prestige of the family, aggravation of interethnic relations.

Socio-economic, demographic factors acting at the family level: education, social status, labor stability, own housing, material well-being, length of married life, having children, religiosity, comfortable living conditions, joint or separate residence of parents.

Socio-psychological factors operating at the family level: the influence of spouses' perception of their parental families, commonality of views, values, interests of partners, role adequacy of spouses, coincidence of reproductive attitudes, harmony of sexual relations, adequate distribution of family responsibilities, coincidence of attitudes in raising children; relationships with parents and relatives, joint leisure activities, assessment of spouse's friends (gi), attitude towards marital fidelity, respect for the spouse's personality, psychological support, ability to take into account the interests of each other.

Factors related to the personal characteristics of partners: social experience, upbringing, independence, tolerance, personal responsibility for the fate of the family, empathy, attentiveness, constructive communication skills, the level of ethnic self-awareness, social activity, moral maturity, readiness for marriage, alcohol consumption.

Lewis and Gr. Spanier, having analyzed about three hundred works, created a similar model containing factors that affect the quality of marriage. They formulated 40 statements, which were divided into 14 subgroups, which, in turn, were combined into three main groups, which received the names:

1) "Premarital factors" affecting the quality of marriage;

2) "Social and economic factors" affecting the quality of marriage;

3) "Personal and intra-spousal factors" that affect the quality of marriage. It seemed important for our work that they singled out the subgroup "Peculiarities of the parent model". It included such characteristics that are positively associated with the quality of marriage, such as well-being in the parental family, assessment of one's own childhood as happy, a good relationship with parents.

However, R. A. Lewis and Gr. Spanier, who are currently the most authoritative experts in this field abroad, note that one of the most important tasks of the future is the creation of more advanced theoretical models of the quality of marriage. They associate the solution of this main problem with intensive work in the following areas:

A clearer definition of the concepts of marital satisfaction, spouse compatibility, marital success, etc.

Taking into account in research the fact that as this variable we have not a real indicator, but an indicator of the spouses' perception of their own marriage.

A more intensive survey of families where spouses are not satisfied with their marriage, but at the same time remain together.

Significant changes in social and socio-economic life, characteristic of our century, have led to the fact that the problems of the family, judging by the numerous works and speeches, have become extremely significant for sociologists, demographers, representatives of various spheres of public life and science. Manifestations of the so-called "family crisis" in all developed countries of the world have become noticeable in a variety of areas - a decrease in the birth rate, an increase in the number of divorces, an increase in child crime, an increase in the number of mental illnesses and much more. Naturally, the emancipation of women, an increase in the number of working women, an increase in the welfare and level of education of the population, caused serious changes in the field of family and marriage relations, which were mainly expressed in the fact that the main knot that holds the family together was not laws, customs or economic necessity, but the nature of the relationship of the spouses themselves, their satisfaction with each other and with their marriage. In other words: "... marriage and family life began to acquire a more personal character. The role of external factors in ensuring the stability of marriage has decreased and, accordingly, the importance of its "internal content" has increased.

All this means that an important means of stabilizing the family today is to improve the relationship of spouses, to increase their satisfaction with their own marriage.

Chapter 2. Findings from Empirical Research.

2.1 Characteristics of the research base

The total sample in the empirical study consisted of 30 married couples, aged 18-34, residents of Tomsk. Among them are representatives of various fields of activity from housewives, students to entrepreneurs. All couples have been married for one to three years. The sample was conditionally divided into three groups. The first group includes couples living in a "civil marriage", the second group - men and women who are officially married, and the third group, respectively, couples who are officially married and have children.

See table 1

Table 1 Study sample

Pair number	Marriage form. Relations	Name		Age		Family life experience		Main genus d-ti
1	Civil	Anastasia		21		2,8		student
Marriage	Nicholas		28		Bank clerk
2	Civil	Catherine		21		2,9		student
Marriage	Kirill		23		student, forwarder
3	Civil	Alyona		21		2,5		student
Marriage	Ilya		24		design engineer
4	Civil	Daria		24		1,5		office manager
Marriage	Dmitriy		26		manager
5	Civil	Catherine		21		1		student, laboratory assistant
Marriage	Sergey		23		driver
6	Civil	Maria		21		3		student
Marriage	Alexander		24		civil engineer
7	Civil	Catherine		25		1,5		Nanny
Marriage	Michael		29		designer
8	Civil	Lily		22		2,2		secretary
Marriage	Stanislav		24		bartender
9	Civil	Irina		26		1		Cashier
Marriage	Dmitriy		27		Bank clerk
10	Civil		Olga		23		1,2	student
Marriage		Alexei		30		builder
11	Official		Diana		19		1,5	student
Marriage		Vladimir		25		defectoscopist
12	Official		Julia		27		3	designer
Marriage		Egor		28		department head
13	Official		Hope		22		1,8	student
Marriage		Novel		25		state office worker
14	Official		Nina		26		1,5	municipality office worker
Marriage		Alexei		32		furniture designer
15	Official		Olga		27		2,6	programmer
Marriage		Dmitriy		29		programmer
16	Official		Svetlana		22		1	student
Marriage		Vyacheslav		34		entrepreneur
17	Official		Maria		22		1,3	student
Marriage		Stepan		27		engineer
18	Official		Maria		18		1	student
Marriage		Alexei		25		entrepreneur
19	Official		Mayan		20		1,5	student
Marriage		Sergey		29		builder
20	Official		Elena		22		1	housewife
Marriage, 1 child		Vladislav		26		geological engineer
21	Official		Svetlana		27		1,6	salesman
Marriage, 2 children		Yuri		28		manager
22	Official		Valentine		24		1	housewife
Marriage, 1 child		Igor		26		gas engineer
23	Official		Elena		21		2,5	housewife
Marriage, 1 child		Alexander		24		bargain. representative

Pair number	Marriage form. Relations	Name	Age	Family life experience	Main genus d-ti
24	Official	Karina	27	3	choreographer
Marriage, 2 children	Maksim	27	hydrologist
25	Official	Ksenia	23	2,4	credit. Specialist
Marriage, 1 child	Basil	26	policeman
26	Official	Evgeniya	22	1	housewife
Marriage, 1 child	Basil	26	programmer
27	Official	Larisa	24	2,5	housewife
Marriage, 1 child	Peter	26	entrepreneur
28	Official	Anastasia	22	1,9	housewife
Marriage, 1 child	Michael	23	Geologist
29	Official	Elena	24	3	salesman
Marriage, 1 child	Sergey	25	Bank clerk
30	Official	Evgeniya	27	2,4	housewife
Marriage, 1 child	Konstantin	28	Artist

2.2 Characteristics of the procedure and research methods

To study the image of the parent and one's family, satisfaction with marriage, a block of diagnostic methods was used:

1. Methodology of the Family Environment Scale (FES), adapted by S.Yu. Kupriyanov (1985). It is based on the original FamilyEnvironmentScale methodology ( FES ), proposed by K.N. Moose (1974). The family environment scale is designed to assess the social climate in families of all types. The SSO focuses on measuring and describing: A) relationships between family members (indicators of relationships), B) areas of personal growth that are given special importance in the family (indicators of personal growth), C) the basic organizational structure of the family (indicators that control the family system) . The SSS includes ten scales, each of which is represented by nine items related to the characteristics of the family environment. With the help of this technique, the ideas of men and women about their image of their parents and their families were studied.

2. Method "Value Orientations" by M. Rokeach (1978). The technique is aimed at studying the value-motivational sphere of a person and is based on direct ranking of the list of values. M. Rokeach distinguishes two classes of values:

Terminal - beliefs that the ultimate goal of individual existence is worth striving for. The stimulus material is represented by a set of 18 values.

Instrumental - beliefs that some mode of action or personality trait is preferable in any situation. The stimulus material is also represented by a set of 18 values.

This division corresponds to the traditional division into values ​​- goals and values ​​- means. With the help of this technique, the ideas of men and women about the value-motivational sphere of their parents and their families were studied.

3. Test - the Marriage Satisfaction Questionnaire (MSA), developed by V.V. Stolin, T.L. Romanova, G.P. Butenko. The test is designed to diagnose the degree of satisfaction-dissatisfaction with the marriage of both spouses. The questionnaire is a one-dimensional scale consisting of 24 statements related to various areas: perceptions of oneself and a partner, opinions, assessments, attitudes, etc.

The results were processed using mathematical and statistical methods: comparative analysis according to the Mann-Whitney U-test, Spearman correlation analysis and analysis of variance. The study data were processed using the "STATISTICA" package.

The reliability of the results and conclusions of the study was ensured by the use of a set of psychodiagnostic methods validated and tested in Russian psychology, a meaningful analysis of the data obtained, identified on a fairly representative sample of subjects, and the use of adequate methods of mathematical statistics for data processing.

2.3 Presentation and analysis of research results

2.3.1 Research

Comparative analysis of indicators of methods "Scale of Family Environment" S.Yu. Kupriyanov and "Value Orientations" by M. Rokeach made it possible to identify the following significant differences between the first and second groups.

Thus, the first group is characterized by a significant predominance in the image of the parental family of such an indicator as an organization (P> 0.05). This means that order and organization in terms of structuring family activities, financial planning, clarity and certainty of family rules and responsibilities were more important in their parental family than for the second group. Also, in comparison with the second group, their image of the parental family is dominated by such values ​​as love (spiritual and physical closeness with a loved one) (P> 0.04), cheerfulness (sense of humor) (P> 0.00), self-control (restraint , self-discipline) (P>0.02). And in the image of their family, men and women pay special attention to such values ​​as responsibility (sense of duty, ability to keep one's word) (P>0.01). There is also continuity in relation to the indicator, such as "strong will" (P> 0.00), i.e. both in the parental family and in one's own family, importance is attached to the ability to insist on one's own, not to retreat in the face of difficulties.

Whereas the second group is characterized by a significant predominance in the image of the parental family of such values ​​as diligence (discipline) (P>0.02), efficiency in business (diligence, productivity at work) (P>0.04). There is also continuity in relation to the indicator as "conflict" (P> 0.02), i.e. both in the parental family and in their own family, importance is attached to the open expression of anger, aggression and conflict relationships. Continuing to consider the image of their family by the second group, we can say that they attach more importance to such a value as education (breadth of knowledge, high general culture) (P> 0.02) than the first group.

It is typical for the second group that such indicators as independence (P>0.00) and organization (P>0.00) predominate in their image of the parental family. The significance of such an indicator as organization means that order and organization were important for their parental family in terms of structuring family activities, financial planning, clarity and certainty of family rules and responsibilities. High scores on the indicator of independence indicate that in the parental family of the second group, independence is encouraged in thinking about problems and solutions. According to the results obtained using the method of M. Rokeach, in the image of the parental family for the second group, such a value as the beauty of nature and art (experiencing beauty in nature and art) (P> 0.00) is more significant than for the third group. And in the ideas about their family, the second group is characterized by the predominance of such indicators as an interesting job (P> 0.00), a productive life (the fullest possible use of their capabilities, strengths and abilities) (P> 0.01); creativity (possibility creative activity) (P>0.01). There is also continuity in relation to the indicators "strong will" (P>0.00), "active active life" (P>0.00), i.e. both in the parental family and in their own family, the second group attaches importance to the ability to insist on one's own, not to retreat in the face of difficulties; a sense of fullness and emotional richness of life.

A comparative analysis showed that the third group is characterized by a significant predominance in the image of the parental family of such values ​​as self-confidence (internal harmony, freedom from internal contradictions, doubts) (P> 0.05) than for the second group. And in the image of their family, men and women of the third group pay special attention to such values ​​as having good and true friends (P>0.00); public recognition (respect for others, team, workmates) (P>0.00); good breeding (good manners) (P>0.00). There is also continuity in relation to such indicators as: health (physical and mental) (P> 0.00), accuracy (cleanliness) (P> 0.00), tolerance (to the views and opinions of others, the ability to forgive others for their mistakes and misconceptions). ) (P>0.01), i.e. both in the family of origin and in their own family, the third group attaches importance to these values.

Let's move on to the results of the study regarding significant differences between the first and third groups of respondents.

Thus, the first group is characterized by a significant predominance in the image of their parental family of such indicators as "conflict" (P>0.03) and "independence" (P>0.00). The significance of such an indicator as conflict means that they more openly express anger, aggression and conflict relationships. High scores on the independence indicator indicate that the family encourages independence in thinking about problems and solutions. Using the method of M. Rokeach, significant differences were obtained, which indicate that in the image of the parental family for the first group, such values ​​as independence (the ability to act independently, decisively) are more significant (P> 0.00); intolerance to shortcomings in oneself and others (P>0.01); honesty (truthfulness, sincerity) (P>0.04) than for the third group. Continuing to compare the first and third groups, we found that in the ideas about their family, the first, in turn, is characterized by the predominance of such indicators as interesting work (P> 0.01), productive life (the fullest possible use of one's capabilities, strengths and abilities) (P>0.00); creativity (possibility of creative activity) (Р>0.00); high demands (high demands on life and high claims) (P>0.04). There is also continuity in relation to the indicator active active life (completeness and emotional richness of life) (P> 0.00), i.e. both in the parental family and in their own family, the first group attaches importance to the fullness and emotional richness of life.

Whereas the people of the third group in the image of their family are dominated by such values ​​as: social vocation (respect for others, team, workmates) (P> 0.00); happiness of others (welfare, development and improvement of other people, the whole nation, humanity as a whole) (P> 0.04); good breeding (good manners) (P>0.00). There is also continuity in terms of indicators: health (physical and mental) (P>0.00), love (spiritual and physical closeness with a loved one) (P>0.05), i.e. both in the family of origin and in their own family, the third group attaches importance to these values.

In general, summarizing the obtained results, we can draw the following conclusions. Comparing the sample, we obtained the following results, the first group is characterized by the predominance of such an indicator as "strong will", the ability to insist on one's own, not to retreat in the face of difficulties. Probably this result may be due to the fact that in our time, many still do not approve of this form of relationship, and in order to cope with this kind of attack, men and women who are actually married need to have a "strong will". However, for the respondents of the second group, "an active active life", a feeling of fullness and emotional richness of life is more significant; interesting job. This is probably due to the fact that they just got married, they do not yet have children, and they direct their forces to the realization of their abilities. So, for the respondents of the third group, in comparison with the first and second groups, health (physical and mental) is the most significant. We assume that this may be due to the appearance of a child in the family, which requires close attention to the health of both your own and your child. It seemed interesting to us that there is continuity in relation to these indicators between the parental and real families. This is a kind of broadcast, the transfer of the current family situation to your ideas.

2.3.2 The study of the peculiarities of the representation of the image of the family and values ​​in the parental and own family of men and women with different forms of marriage

As a result of the correlation analysis, the influence of the form of marriage on the ideas of men and women about the image of the family and the value-motivational sphere was determined.

Let's move on to the analysis and interpretation of the results obtained using the "Family Environment Scale" method by S.Yu. Kupriyanov. So, regarding the first group of respondents, it was found that in the parental and family there is continuity in terms of indicators - expressiveness (r= 0.55) and moral aspects (r= 0.57), i.e. spouses, transferred from the parental family to their degree of openness in expressing their feelings in the family and respect for ethical and moral values ​​and positions.

However, no continuity is observed in the second group. Next, we will try to analyze the reasons for this result.

Further, it was found that in the parental and family of the third group there is continuity in terms of indicators - expressiveness (open expression of one's feelings in the family) (r = 0.71), conflict (open expression of anger, aggression and conflict relationships) (r = 0, 50), achievement orientation (characterized by encouraging the nature of achievement and competition different types activities) (r= 0.76), intellectual and cultural orientation (activity of family members in the social, intellectual, cultural and political spheres of activity) (r= 0.53), orientation to leisure (Active participation V various types recreation and sports) (r= 0.53), organization (order and organization in terms of structuring family activities, financial planning, clarity and certainty of family rules and responsibilities) (r= 0.50).

Thus, regarding the first group, it was found that in the parental and family there is continuity in terms of indicators - love (spiritual and physical closeness with a loved one) (r = 0.68); freedom (independence, independence in judgments and actions) (r= 0.45); happy family life (r= 0.45); creativity (possibility of creative activity) (r= 0.54); accuracy (cleanliness, ability to keep things in order, order in affairs) (r= 0.64); intolerance to shortcomings in oneself and others (r= 0.49); education (breadth of knowledge, high general culture) (r= 0.44); rationalism (the ability to think soundly and logically, make well-considered, rational decisions) (r= 0.46); breadth of views (the ability to understand someone else's point of view, to respect other tastes, customs, habits) (r= 0.50); honesty (truthfulness, sincerity) (r= 0.59); sensitivity (caring) (r= 0.78).

Considering the second group, it was also found that in the parental and family there is continuity in terms of indicators - an active active life (fullness and emotional richness of life) (r = 0.48); health (physical and mental) (r= 0.50); happy family life (r= 0.51); intolerance to shortcomings in oneself and others (r= 0.55); breadth of views (the ability to understand someone else's point of view, to respect other tastes, customs, habits) (r= 0.51).

Further, it was found that in the parental and family of the third group there is continuity in terms of indicators - life wisdom (maturity of judgments and common sense achieved by life experience) (r = 0.44), health (physical and mental) (r = 0.52 ), interesting work (r= 0.71), social vocation (respect for others, team, workmates) (r= 0.51), knowledge (opportunity to expand one’s education, horizons, general culture, intellectual development) (r= 0.45), development (work on oneself, constant physical and spiritual improvement) (r= 0.44), happiness of others (welfare, development and improvement of other people, the whole people, humanity as a whole) (r= 0.59) , creativity (possibility of creative activity) (r= 0.82) and self-confidence (internal harmony, freedom from internal contradictions, doubts) (r= 0.55); accuracy (cleanliness, ability to keep things in order, order in affairs) (r= 0.60); upbringing (good manners); (r=0.75); cheerfulness (sense of humor) (r= 0.62); independence (ability to act independently, decisively) (r= 0.72); responsibility (sense of duty, ability to keep one's word) (r= 0.92); tolerance (to the views and opinions of others, the ability to forgive others for their mistakes and misconceptions) (r= 0.46); efficiency in business (industriousness, productivity at work) (r= 0.47); sensitivity (caring) (r= 0.80).

Thus, it turns out that spouses transfer their past experience, their perception of the past into the real family from the parental family to the real family. This percentage of transferred past experience is different in different types of families. So for men and women who are actually married, it is 28%, for spouses who are officially married, it is 10%, married couples with one or two children 50%. Therefore, for these people, as a result of our study, these are men and women of the first and third experimental group It is also characteristic to build relationships in the image of the parental family. Let's try to analyze the obtained results. Unfortunately, due to the impossibility of conducting a longitudinal study, we can only speculate why this happens in this way. Probably, it is the new situation that entails such changes. So for the first group, the new situation is the actual marriage, i.e. they have no experience of family life, while in the second group this experience already prevails in almost everyone. For the third group, the appearance of a child appears as a new experience. Respondents faced with a new situation are more guided by the experience of the parental family, which in turn has already been tested, thereby receiving a kind of support. While for the respondents of the second group, the formalization of relations is not a problematic situation, they no longer rely on the experience gained in the parental family, but bring something of their own. We believe that the formation of representations can be based on two mechanisms - translation and compensation. Broadcasting is understood as the transfer of the current family situation to one’s ideas, compensation is the introduction of the missing aspects of family life in order to build a more successful family.

Thus, it was found that men and women of the first group transfer the values ​​"love" (r= 0.68) and "happy family life" (r= 0.45) from the parental family to the real one. In addition, such a value as a happy family life becomes significant for spouses if the parental family did not attach importance to interesting work (r = - 0.61).

Further, it was found that in the second group the value of "love" is affected by the following: if in the parental family it was important to have good and true friends (r = 0.51), then in their own family the spouses attached importance to love. The happy family life of the spouses, as in the first group, is transferred from the parental family to the real one. However, in her own family she is valuable when the parental family attached importance to love (r = 0.69); self-confidence (inner harmony, freedom from internal contradictions, doubts) (r= 0.49) and did not attach importance to the beauty of nature and art (experiencing beauty in nature and art) (r= - 0.47) and productive life ( r=-0.53).

And in the third group, the value of "love" is influenced by the following: if materially secure life was important in the parental family (lack of material difficulties) (r = 0.68), development (work on oneself, constant physical and spiritual improvement) (r = 0.87), freedom (independence, independence in judgments and actions) (r = 0.62) and did not attach importance to an active active life (completeness and emotional richness of life) (r = 0.-47), then in their family the spouses gave meaning to love. The happy family life of the spouses, as well as in the other two groups, is transferred from the parental family to their own. However, it is valuable when the parental family attached importance to health (physical and mental) (r= 0.65), productive life (the fullest possible use of one’s capabilities, strengths and abilities) (r= 0.63) and did not attach importance to the beauty of nature and art (experiencing beauty in nature and art) (r= 0.-53).

2.2.3 Study of ideas about the image of their family of men and women with different forms of marriage

In order to determine the level of significance of certain values ​​for each spouse, as well as to determine the degree of agreement / inconsistency in the image of their family between spouses, depending on the type of family relationship, we used analysis of variance. Which, in turn, determined the influence of factors of gender and the form of marriage on ideas about the image of one's family. So, let's turn to the results obtained using the "Family Environment Scale" method by S.Yu. Kupriyanov.

Considering the features of family images in the first group, the average value was calculated and it was found that for the "strong half" greater significance is manifested in the care of family members for each other, helping each other, the severity of a sense of belonging to the family (6.6 versus 5.5) , as well as in the activity of the social, intellectual, cultural and political spheres of activity (5.5 vs. 3.7). For other indicators, there is a similarity in the representations of men and women.

It seemed interesting that in the second and third groups, according to the indicators of the "Scale of Family Environment" methodology, there is a consistent image of one's family between spouses.

Considering the features of family images in the first group, the average value was calculated and it was found that for women such terminal values ​​are more important: love (spiritual and physical closeness with a loved one) (5.0 versus 3.1); entertainment (pleasant, easy pastime, lack of responsibilities) (11.9 vs. 9.0); happy family life (4.4 versus 2.7) than for men. For men, the following values ​​are more significant: life wisdom (maturity of judgments and common sense, achieved by life experience) (12.8 vs. 9.6); freedom (independence, independence in judgments and actions) (14.2 versus 11.7). In other values, there is a similarity in the representations of men and women.

Let's move on to the results for the second group. So it was found that women attach importance to such values ​​as love (spiritual and physical intimacy with a loved one) (3.7 vs. 1.6); financially secure life (lack of material difficulties) (9.2 versus 4.1); knowledge (opportunity to expand one's education, outlook, general culture, intellectual development) (13.9 versus 10.4); happy family life (5.5 versus 2.5); self-confidence (internal harmony, freedom from internal contradictions, doubts) (13.1 versus 8.9) than men. Whereas for men the following values ​​are more significant: active active life (fullness and emotional richness of life) (7.2 versus 5.2); interesting work (7.3 vs. 4.7); beauty of nature and art (experience of beauty in nature and art); (16.9 versus 13.2) having good and true friends (10.0 versus 8.0); development (work on oneself, constant physical and spiritual improvement) (12.8 vs. 10.5); happiness of others (welfare, development and improvement of other people, the whole nation, humanity as a whole) (16.4 versus 11.4).

Considering the features of family images in the third group, the average value was calculated and it was found that for the "strong half" the following values ​​are of great importance: materially secure life (lack of material difficulties) (6.0 vs. 3.7); development (work on oneself, constant physical and spiritual improvement) (14.0 vs. 12.1); freedom (independence, independence in judgments and actions) (12.4 versus 9.6) than for women. And in turn, the "weak half" attaches importance to the happiness of others (well-being, development and improvement of other people, the whole people, humanity as a whole) (15.9 versus 13.6).

Let's move on to the next stage of the study; Let us turn to the results characteristic of the first group. So for women, such instrumental values ​​are more significant as: breadth of views (the ability to understand someone else's point of view, respect other tastes, customs, habits) (13.0 versus 9.8); sensitivity (caring) (9.4 versus 5.0). Whereas for men the following values ​​are more important: good breeding (good manners) (9.9 versus 6.5); rationalism (the ability to think sensibly and logically, make well-considered, rational decisions) (10.1 versus 6.3).

For women of the second group, the following instrumental values ​​are more significant: good breeding (good manners) (9.8 versus 7.7); education (breadth of knowledge, high general culture) (11.2 versus 9.1); rationalism (the ability to think sensibly and logically, make well-considered, rational decisions) (9.7 vs. 6.8); honesty (truthfulness, sincerity) (7.8 versus 4.8). Whereas for men the following values ​​are more important: independence (the ability to act independently, decisively) (13.0 versus 7.3); intolerance towards shortcomings in oneself and others (17.4 versus 11.3); self-control (restraint, self-discipline) (11.6 versus 8.8).

Considering the features of family images in the third group, the average value was calculated and it was found that for the "strong half" the following values ​​are of great importance: self-control (restraint, self-discipline) (12.5 vs. 8.3); tolerance (to the views and opinions of others, the ability to forgive others for their mistakes and delusions) (8.7 vs. 6.4). And, in turn, the "weak half" attaches importance to cheerfulness (sense of humor) (6.6 versus 3.7); breadth of views (the ability to understand someone else's point of view, to respect other tastes, customs, habits) (12.8 versus 9.3).

2.2.4 Marriage satisfaction study for couples

It is impossible to consider marital relations in dynamics without taking into account the changes that occur with the qualitative characteristics of these relations. For this purpose, as well as to test one of our hypotheses, we analyzed changes in marital satisfaction in couples with different family life experiences.

Thus, the next step in processing the results in our study was to compare the level of satisfaction with marriage in married couples. Marriage satisfaction for each of the 60 respondents we interviewed was obtained on the basis of a special test designed to measure this characteristic. In each of the three surveyed groups of spouses, the average value of satisfaction with marriage was calculated separately for men and women.

Thus, it was found that in married couples of the first and second groups, satisfaction with marriage is higher than that of the third group. Namely, satisfaction with marriage among women of the first group was 39.8, and among men - 40.5. In the second group, respectively, women's satisfaction with their marriage is 40.8, and men's - 40.4. While women of the third group are satisfied with marriage only by 37.2, and men by 37.6. Thus, according to the questionnaire, the following is obtained: men and women of the first and second groups are absolutely satisfied with their marriage, while spouses of the third group are only significantly satisfied with their marriage. The data obtained give sufficient grounds to assert that changes in marital satisfaction do exist. Namely, at the birth of a child, satisfaction with marriage falls somewhat. This fact has also been noted in some studies. Let's try to analyze the reasons for the decrease in satisfaction among the third group. The appearance of a child in the family dramatically changes the way of life. So among the many factors that impede this process, we can name: mental or somatic ill health of parents; motivational, cognitive, behavioral unpreparedness of the mother to fulfill the parental role; violations of intra-family communication; the priority of others, such as careerist, sexual, values ​​over parental ones; reduction of free time spent together with spouses.

In order to better understand the reasons for the ongoing changes in relationships, we conducted a correlation analysis that allows us to establish the structure of the relationship between the value-semantic sphere and satisfaction with marriage by spouses with different family life experience.

So, we found that the following indicators influence the satisfaction with marriage among people of the first group. Family members are satisfied with marriage when they attach importance to order and organization in terms of structuring family activities, financial planning, clarity and certainty of family rules and responsibilities (r=0.57); they have high demands and claims to life (r=0.53); they are disciplined (r=0.47) and irreconcilable to shortcomings in themselves and others (r=0.52). The inverse nature of the relationship indicates that if respondents value such values ​​as responsibility (r= - 0.55), honesty (truthfulness, sincerity) (r= - 0.74), having good and true friends (r= - 0 46), then they are less satisfied in marriage.

Further, it was found that if the respondents of the second group are satisfied with marriage, then they attach importance to moral aspects (r=0.58), creativity (opportunities for creative activity) (r=0.44) and rationalism (r=0.63 ). The inverse nature of the relationship indicates that if respondents value such values ​​as an interesting job (r = - 0.49), good breeding (good manners) (r = - 0.52), tolerance (to the views and opinions of others, the ability to forgive others their mistakes and misconceptions) (r= - 0.45), breadth of views (r= - 0.49), then they are less satisfied in marriage.

Considering the third group, we can draw the following conclusion: if respondents attach importance to such a value as efficiency in business (r = -0.44), then they are less satisfied in marriage. However, other results in the study of satisfaction with marriage were provided by T.V. Andreeva and Shmotchenko Yu.A. They found that satisfaction was higher the more significant the value of performance in business was. However, this can be explained by the sampling difference. So, T.V. Andreeva and Shmotchenko Yu.A. studied men, and in our work we diagnosed married couples.

Chapter 2 Conclusions

From the empirical study, the following conclusions can be drawn:

The image of the parental family and the image of the real family are largely characterized by the same family structure. So from the parental family to the real family, the spouses transfer their past experience, their perception of the past to the real family. This percentage of transferred past experience is different in different types of families. So for men and women who are actually married, it is 28%, for spouses who are officially married, it is 10%, married couples with one or two children 50%. Consequently, for these people, and as a result of our study, these are men and women of the first and third experimental groups, it is also characteristic to build relationships in the image of the parental family.

There is a translation, a transfer of the current family situation from the parental family to their own image of a real family, by spouses with different experience of family life. So for men and women who are actually married, this actual indicator is "strong will", the ability to insist on one's own, not to retreat in the face of difficulties. For spouses who are officially married - "an active active life", a feeling of fullness and emotional richness of life; interesting job. But married couples with one or two children give great importance health (physical and mental).

Spouses have both a similar and a different image of their family, relative to some indicators. Thus, the agreement on certain indicators among men and women who are in actual marriage is 76%; Married couples with one or two children left not far from them - 65%, but for spouses who are officially married, it is 50%. A similar actual "image of the family" is necessary condition for harmonious interaction in pairs.

The data obtained give sufficient grounds to assert that changes in marital satisfaction depending on the experience of family life do exist. So spouses who are in actual and official marriage are absolutely satisfied with their relationship. Whereas married couples with one or two children are already less satisfied with their marriage. Thus, it turns out that it is at the birth of a child that satisfaction with marriage decreases somewhat. It was also found that satisfaction with marriage in families with different experiences of family life is influenced by various indicators.

A generalized analysis of the results of our entire study led to the conclusion that the "image of the family" influences the parental position and behavior in the family already in the future of an adult.

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PECULIARITIES OF CONCEPTS OF THE FAMILY OF MODERN STUDENT YOUTH*

MODERN STUDENTS" VIEWS UPON FAMILY

E.L. Chernyshova Volga Region State Social and Humanitarian Academy

(Russia, Samara)

Ye.L. Chemyshova Samara State Academy of Social Sciences and Humanities (Russia, Samara)

The article discusses the features of ideas about the institution of family and marriage of modern students, compares the attitudes of girls and boys of student age to the concept of family, analyzes the readiness for marriage of young people.

The paper highlights the way today students look upon family and marriage. It also compares the views of the male and female students, analyzes their maturity for having a family.

Key words: ideas, features of ideas, the institution of family and marriage, modern youth, students.

Keywords: views, family and marriage, modern young people, students.

The institution of marriage has experienced a significant crisis in recent decades. This is expressed primarily in the growth in the number of divorces. In modern society, the family, more than ever, has become one of the institutions that take responsibility for its members. Actually, the unwillingness to take responsibility for another is one of the reasons why the marriages of young people break up. The first difficulties that arise in the family often become critical. In part, this situation is related to the socio-psychological characteristics of modern students (young people), who are often focused on personal freedom, satisfaction of desires, aspirations and are poorly oriented towards establishing strong, long-term ties and attachments.

The problems of the institution of marriage and the young family in social psychology are quite well studied. A number of studies have considered the features of modern marriage psychology, the main problems of the family (G.M. Andreeva, T.V. Andreeva, S.I. Golod, O.A. Karabanova, S.V. Kovalev, N.M. Rimashevskaya and others .). Such a category as “marriage satisfaction” (Yu.E. Aleshina, E.V. Grozdova, A.G. Leaders) has been considered and studied in detail. Studied the problem of stability

marriage and sustainability factors (E.G. Gukova, V.I. Kosacheva, V.A. Sysenko). The issues of communication in the intra-family environment are widely considered (G.M. Andreeva, S.V. Kovalev, E.V. Kutsakova, E.V. Novikova, N.N. Obozov).

Marriage is a legal designation of the entire complexity of relationships contained in the socio-psychological concept of "family". A family is “a small group based on marriage or consanguinity, whose members are connected by a common life, mutual moral responsibility and mutual assistance”.

Within the framework of the psychological approach to understanding the phenomenon of the family, it is considered as “a space of joint life activity, within which the specific needs of people connected by blood and family ties are satisfied. This space is a fairly complex structure, consisting of various elements (roles, positions) and a system of relationships between its members. So the structure exists in accordance with the laws of a living organism, therefore it has a natural dynamics, passing through a number of phases and stages in its development.

As V. Satir notes, marital relations are heterogeneous and have the following aspects in their structure:

Role relationships;

value relations;

emotional relationships;

Appraisal Relationships.

The specific role of a person is

the role he plays in the family. The family role is one of the types of social roles of a person in society. Family roles are determined by the place and functions of the individual in the family group and are divided primarily into marital (wife, husband), parental (mother, father), children's (son, daughter, brother, sister, elder, younger).

Based on the combination of family roles, role-playing relationships in the family are built. Role relations in the family are relations between family members, which are determined by the nature and content of family roles or the type of interaction of family members in the performance of family roles. As a result, two types of role relations in the family are distinguished: role agreement and role conflict.

Value relationships are built on the basis of values ​​that are significant for spouses.

Values ​​are generalized ideas of people regarding the goals and norms of their social behavior. Values ​​embody the historical experience and culture of individual groups (ethnic groups, classes, etc.), in other words, they serve as a kind of guideline with which people relate their actions.

Values ​​are relatively common, stable characteristics of people. The values ​​of an adult are difficult to change, so the conflict of values ​​is one of the most difficult in family life. Values ​​form a system of actions, life orientations, ways of human action in life. If the values ​​that are significant for one spouse are of lesser importance for the other, this is reflected in the way of the family: the family does not appear as a single entity, it is itself split.

under the weight of internal contradictions of an ideological nature.

Traditionally, a number of values ​​stand out in human life:

Love, emotional and physical intimacy;

Birth and upbringing of children;

spiritual relationships;

Material wealth;

Implementation of social roles;

Professional and personal growth.

Family life, planned events, the system of family relations with the outside world are largely related to the value orientations of the spouses. The presence of radically opposite life orientations among spouses causes conflict in the family; the coincidence of the values ​​of the spouses determines the harmonious value relations.

The emotional aspect of relationships is largely associated with communication, namely with its emotional component. There are two key components in communication: emotional and informative. In family life, the emotional component is more significant. “Members of the family,” writes E.G. Eidmiller, - exchange numerous streams of emotions of different intensity, each of which, under appropriate circumstances, generates a counter current. The style of emotional relationship between any two members of the family develops independently, although it is constantly influenced by other emotional interpersonal relationships in the family. The changeable variety of multidirectional flows of emotions determines the changeable "family atmosphere" saturated with all shades of emotional experience, against which the personality develops.

G.M. Andreeva singles out their emotional basis as a defining feature of interpersonal relationships. “The emotional basis of interpersonal relationships,” writes G.M. Andreev, means that they arise and develop on the basis of certain feelings that are born in people in relation to each other.

The evaluation component of marital relations is largely associated with satisfaction with marriage, marital relations.

In modern literature, there are two approaches to determining readiness for marriage. According to the first approach (N.M. Galimova, O. F. Kovaleva, S.M. Pitilin, etc.), the readiness of young people to marry should be determined before the start of family life; according to the second approach (P.A. Reshetov and others), readiness for marriage can be assessed by the final result, the success of marriage, satisfaction with marriage, and harmony in family relations. However, with the second approach, it is impossible to evaluate the results of preparation for marriage, since they are evaluated after the time spent in marriage.

Readiness for marriage is a complex structured phenomenon that includes a number of aspects: physical and social maturity, psychological readiness, sexual readiness.

Physical maturity is puberty, i.e. such a state of the body in which it is ready for procreation without physiological losses. Physical maturity occurs mainly in the period from 15 to 25 years, while for boys, physical maturity occurs a little earlier - at 15-18 years old, for girls - later, at 18-22 years old. As noted by A.G. Kharchev and M.S. Matskovsky, this is due to the fact that "the reproductive function of the female body is more complicated and requires longer preparation, stable hormonal balance, maturation of all physiological systems" . This does not mean that boys and girls cannot exercise their reproductive function in more early age, this suggests that in order for the reproductive function to be real

lysed fully and without significant physiological losses for the body and future offspring, it is necessary to wait for physiological maturity. However, in any case, physiological maturity usually occurs earlier than social maturity.

Social maturity is the most convincing evidence of young people entering adulthood. Social maturity, according to S.I. Hunger implies "a formed system of social communications (it is necessary at the stage of choosing a marriage partner and getting closer to him), entering society in the status of a full citizen, understanding the essence of social ties, social norms, rules, duties and rights" .

The study of the readiness of modern students for marriage was carried out on the material of the following methods: the scaling method "Study of readiness for marriage"; test "Unfinished sentences"; test "Features of communication between spouses" (Yu.E. Aleshina, L.Ya. Gozman, E.M. Dubovskaya). The main objective of the study is to compare the results of testing between boys and girls, 4th year students of the Faculty of Psychology of the Volga Region State Social and Humanitarian Academy. The study involved 40 students (20 boys and 20 girls aged 17 to 19, unmarried).

At the research stage, using the means of mathematical statistics (the Mann-Whitney criterion), we analyzed the differences in students' readiness for marriage.

First, the differences within the student group in terms of gender were studied. Table 1 presents the data of mathematical analysis of differences in the readiness for marriage of boys and girls.

Table 1

Readiness for marriage (group average)

Groups Boys Girls

Marriage readiness rate 3.2 4.7

Statistics U Mann-Whitney 53,000

Significance level of differences: Mann-Whitney test (achieved at p< 0,05) р < 0,05

As can be seen, the p criterion does not exceed the value of 0.05, which indicates a significant difference between the readiness for marriage of boys and girls. In other words, girls who have reached student age (17-20 years old) feel more

ready to marry, create a family than young men of the same age.

Table 2 presents a comparison of ideas about the marriage of boys and girls.

table 2

Representations of boys and girls about the family

Indicators Boys Girls Statistics Significance level

(mean score) (mean score) and Mann-Whitney differences: Mann-Whitney test (achieved at p< 0,05)

Submissions 3.2 3.6 126,500 Not achieved

about marriage as a social

al phenomenon

Personality content 2.6 3.4 33,000 rub< 0,05

concept of "marriage"

Expectations 3.7 3.9 183,500 Not achieved

from the future

family life

As can be seen from Table 2, significantly significant differences were achieved only in relation to the personal content of the concepts of "family", "marriage". This means that in relation to themselves, to their own lives, girls evaluate their family more positively than boys. This is also noticeable in the qualitative analysis of respondents' answers. When the sentence continued, “the main thing in the family is ...”, the girls answered in a more detailed and meaningful way: “love, mutual understanding”, “so that people can trust each other, so that they have common interests, views, and love, of course”, “ the feeling that you are needed, that they cannot live without you, that there is

Performances of boys and girls

di, who care about you, and they are ready to do a lot for you”, “children, of course, without children the family is inferior”, “love, feelings”, etc. was”, “well, so that everything was fine, without action” (in this context, “action” can mean nervous tension, breakdowns, etc. - E.Ch.). In other words, in general, for young men, the personal content of the concepts of "family" and "marriage" is less meaningful and more superficial than for girls.

Table 3

about the characteristics of communication in the family

Indicators Boys Girls Statistics and Mann-Whitney Level of significance of differences: Mann-Whitney test (achieved at p< 0,05)

Confidence 8.9 12.1 27,500 rub< 0,05

Mutual understanding 9.6 13.7 22,000 rub< 0,05

Similarity of views 9.4 10.2 189,000 Not achieved

Common family symbols 7.9 10.5 46,500 rub< 0,05

Ease of communication 12.1 13.7 151,000 Not achieved

Psychotherapy 10.2 12.8 48,500 r< 0,05

An analysis of Table 3 shows that boys and girls assess the significance of various factors of communication in the family differently.

So, for girls, such characteristics of communication as trust, mutual understanding, family symbols, psychotherapeutic communication are significantly more significant. This suggests that for girls, more than for boys, all-round communication in the family, the opportunity to have close, trusting relationships, is significant. Perhaps this is due to the greater family orientation of girls than boys. Young men, in turn, are more socially oriented, establishing social contacts, social achievements. In addition, girls are likely to be more emotional and, in general, more prone to intimate-personal communication than boys.

Thus, after analyzing the characteristics of readiness and attitudes towards marriage among boys and girls of student age, we can note that girls are more ready for marriage than boys; girls are inclined to a deeper personal content of the concepts of "marriage", "family"; for girls, the factor of versatile communication in marriage is of greater importance than for boys. This difference manifests itself in the following:

Girls who have reached student age feel more ready to marry, create a family than boys of the same age;

Girls are prone to a deeper personal content of the concepts of "marriage", "family" than boys;

For girls, the factor of versatile communication in marriage is of greater importance than for boys; perhaps this is due to the greater family orientation of girls than boys; young men, in turn, are more focused on society, social achievements, establishing social contacts;

For young men, ideas about the family as a social institution are quite general and, due to age, are often associated with radical judgments, a maximalist outlook on life;

For young men, the personal content of the concept of "family" is less positive; this is due to the need for personal freedom, a less profound understanding of the essence of the family and the need for it;

All students have not formed ideas about the importance of such aspects of communication in the family as trust, mutual understanding and interpersonal communication, as well as similarity in views, which is due to the desire to implement these communication functions in other social groups.

Students at all times have been distinguished by ambiguity, in the modern situation, the strengthening of this ambiguity is dictated by the extremely diverse social experience of modern students, different attitudes to the world, different values ​​and ideological orientation. Modern students are characterized by increased infantilism, easier adaptation to new conditions, tolerance for the views and ideas of others.

Literature

1. Andreeva G.M. Social Psychology. M. : Aspect-Press, 2009.

2. Asmolov A.G. Activity and installation. M. : Knowledge, 1995.

3. Golod S.I. Family and marriage: historical and sociological analysis. SPb. : Petropolis, 2004.

4. Grozdova E.V., Leaders A.G. Complementarity of spouses and satisfaction with marriage // Family psychology and family therapy. 2007. No. 2. pp. 41-56.

5. Psychological Dictionary / Ed. V.V. Zinchenko, A.N. Stoyanov. M.: Encyclopedia,

6. Psychology of the family: Reader. Samara: Bahrakh-M, 2002.

7. Satir V. How to build yourself and your family. M. : Prospekt, 1992.

8. Kharchev A.G., Matskovsky M.S. Modern family and its problems. M. : Nauka, 2010.

9. Eidmiller E.G., Yustitsky V.V. Psychology and psychotherapy of the family. SPb. : Speech, 2003.

*The article was prepared as part of the implementation of the state task of the Ministry of Education and Science of Russia No. 25.1028.2014/K on the topic "Social psychology of religious (confessional), ethno-national, legal, regulatory and managerial consciousness in modern Russia."

There are such concepts as marriage and family. How are they related to each other and how do they differ? In the "Small Soviet Encyclopedia" it is said about marriage as follows:

According to the Big Medical Encyclopedia, the following is said about marriage:

“Marriage is a union of a man and a woman, creating for them certain rights and obligations (on raising children, on owning property, etc.) and receiving public and state sanction.”

How differently the Christian religion interprets the concept of marriage. According to Her concept, the establishment of marriage refers to the original creation of man. Seeing that it was not good for a man to be alone, God created for him a helper corresponding to him. Marriage is a sacrament in which, with a free promise before the priest and the Church of mutual fidelity by the bride and groom, their marital union is blessed in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church and the grace of pure unanimity is asked for the blessed birth and Christian upbringing of children.

Here is what St. app. Paul in Ephesians about marriage.

“Therefore, imitate God, as beloved children, and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave Himself for us as an offering and sacrifice to God, for a sweet savor. And fornication and all impurity and covetousness should not even be named among you, as befits saints. Also, foul language and idle talk and laughter are not appropriate for you, but, on the contrary, thanksgiving; for know that no fornicator, or unclean, or covetous person, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for for this the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience; so do not be their accomplices. You were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord: walk as children of light, for the fruit of the Spirit consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth. Try what is pleasing to God, and do not share in the fruitless works of darkness, but also reprove.

For what they do in secret is shameful even to speak of. All that is revealed is made manifest by the light, for whatever is made manifest is light. This is why it is said: "Rise, sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

So, be careful, act carefully, not as fools, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but know what the will of God is. And do not get drunk with wine, from which there is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, building up yourselves with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and singing in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God and the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, obeying one another in the fear of God.

Wives, obey your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church, and He is the Savior of the body. But just as the Church obeys Christ, so do wives obey their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to sanctify her, having cleansed her with a bath of water through the word; to present her to Himself as a glorious Church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or anything like that, but that she might be holy and blameless. Thus ought husbands to love their wives as their bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself.

For no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and warms it, just as the Lord does the Church, because we are members of His body, from His flesh and from His bones. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh. This mystery is great; I speak in relation to Christ and to the Church. So let each of you love his wife as himself; but let the wife be afraid of her husband.”

The term "family" means the following concept:

FAMILY is a society or group consisting of parents and children. In the family, the reproduction of the person himself takes place - the continuation of the human race. At the same time, human reproduction should be understood not only as childbearing itself, but also as the whole process of rearing and educating new generations.

From the above, it becomes clear to us that if a man and a woman wish to live together, have sexual relations, have and raise children, own property, then they must enter into a marriage, which is registered by the relevant government bodies and further protected by the state.

Any state is ultimately based on the family, which "supplies" or "reproduces" the people that form this state. If families do not do this, people will not marry, then with the death of people from old age, the state will also cease to exist. It is for this reason that any state is interested in its constant reproduction, and therefore in the right relationship between a man and a woman within the family. For this reason, relevant laws have appeared regulating marriage and family life.

Married man and woman already form a family. Such a family is called a small family. Only when children appear, this family is considered “normal”, because the potential opportunity for a man and a woman to have children, to continue the race has been realized. A family in which there are many children (the concept of "many children" is relative, as Russians currently have more than three children is considered "many children", although in pre-revolutionary Russia the concept of "many children" meant 6-10 or more children) is called "many".

A man and a woman can live together without marriage and even have children. In other words, live a full-blooded family life. However, if in such a family there are disagreements between a man and a woman, then they are not regulated by the Code of Laws on Marriage, Family and Guardianship. In this case, the rights of one of the parties may be infringed and there will be no support from the state.

From the above, it becomes clear that the state, by introducing the "institution of marriage and the family", wants to control and regulate, first of all, sexual relations between a man and a woman, direct them in the direction necessary for state purposes, and in the future take care of the family. Naturally, “curbing” and “regulating” intimate relationships is an incredibly difficult thing, and along with official marriage, there is an intimate life outside of marriage. This just indicates that the laws created by the human mind “encroached” on something that does not lend itself to artificial restrictions, but has its own life, requests, etc.

To understand the phenomenon of marriage and family, it is advisable to look into history and look around.

According to historians, at an early stage in the existence of human society, marriage and the family were absent: men and women did not live in permanent couples; more or less long marriages were the exception. A form of more stable relationships was group marriage and the common management of the family economy. These relations later went through two stages in their development: the consanguineous family, where marriage relations were limited to representatives of one generation and sexual intercourse between different generations (parents and children, grandfathers and grandchildren) was not allowed; and Punalua marriage, in which several men had several women in common. At the same time, a couple marriage was born. In other words, men and women entered into marital relations randomly, depending on mutual desire. But among them were such couples who preferred to live only together.

Some historians argue that group marriage was supplanted by pair marriage due to the accumulation of material wealth. The owner of material wealth wanted to be sure that the inheritance goes to his children. Naturally, in a group marriage, this was impossible to establish. Thus, it is believed that the material part (inheritance, running a common household) has prevailed over the initial desire of people for intimacy.

In general, if you "look back", then polygamy flourishes in the Arab world. One man has several wives who "make" him heirs and thus replenish the population of the Arab world; some European countries allow same-sex marriages; there are places on the globe where there are very few women, here one woman has several husbands. Thus, marriage and the family is nothing but a way of life for men and women. Depending on the conditions, this way of life is very different.

Having found out what marriage and family are, let's move on. We will not be scattered on finding out which marriage is better - Arab or European, what the state should do for the family, etc., but let's focus on what we have - on pair marriage (men and women) and consider how it educate, self-strengthen and make healthy.

If we delve a little into the problem of marriage and the family, then the stages of the formation of marriage and the family, which have their own characteristics, are striking. If you know these features and do not let them drift, then family life will be much better in every way. Therefore, the book will be built on the consideration of these stages of family life. And there is nothing surprising in this - any phenomenon has its beginning, formation and completion. The same is true in family life.

We break family life into the following stages:

1. Before wedding.
2. The first small family (from marriage to the birth of the first child).
3. Family (from the birth of the first child to the departure of children from the family).
4. The second small family (from the departure of children from the family to the death of one of the spouses).
5. After family.

The article was prepared based on the materials of the book by G.P. Malakhov