Psychologist's advice to parents: what to do if the child has become very capricious. Why does a small child act up for no apparent reason? Why is the child naughty for no reason

The causes of children's whims can be very different, and they greatly depend on the age of the child. Very young children express any dissatisfaction or pain with the help of crying, because other means of communication are not yet available to them.

Older children defend their point of view with whims and try to assert themselves - it is not for nothing that psychologists distinguish certain periods of crisis, during which the child is constantly capricious and becomes uncontrollable.

Why is my child naughty before bed?

Problems with the tummy, characteristic of children in the first months of life, worsen in the evening.

There is a reason to contact a gastroenterologist if you see that:

• the child presses the legs to the stomach;
• squealing or crying hysterically;
• bends when feeding;
• the child has a "burst" in the tummy;
• the child is spitting up profusely;
• the child has no stool;
• the chair, on the contrary, is too frequent and liquid;
• mucus, greenish or bloody streaks, undigested lumps are observed in the feces.

The doctor will prescribe the necessary examinations and select enzymatic preparations for the baby that improve the absorption of milk or mixture and reduce gas formation in the stomach, and evening whims will stop.

If parents ask a pediatrician a question: why is a child naughty for 5 months, doctors usually immediately refer to the teeth. Indeed, around this age, babies begin to salivate profusely, they pull rattles or their own hands into their mouths, while the children are irritable and restless, and their gums look loose and red when examined. Often, six to eight weeks pass from the onset of "tooth" whims to the eruption of the first teeth - this is an acute period during which the teeth move inside the gums, causing anxiety to the child and justifying his evening whims. To reduce pain, doctors recommend using gels with a local anesthetic effect or antipyretics in syrup or suppositories.

Why is a child often naughty at the age of one year?

The age of about a year is the period when the child already knows how to walk, actively play, interact with others, but still does not know how to speak well and, if necessary, cannot explain what is wrong with him. If a child is very irritable and restless, his appetite has worsened and there is no fever, cough, runny nose and other visible manifestations of the disease, his ears may hurt. Show the child to the doctor, who will examine and, if necessary, prescribe tests to find out the cause of the ailment.

Many mothers are worried why the child is naughty in the evening, because the period of colic has long passed. Evening whims at this age speak of emotional overexcitation. The impressions and experiences accumulated during the day do not allow the baby to relax and fall asleep peacefully. This is especially true for hyperactive and excitable children who have given up daytime sleep.

To solve the problem of evening whims, you can consult a neurologist. In some cases, children are prescribed sedatives.

But all, without exception, naughty children will benefit from the following recommendations:

• walks in the fresh air before going to bed;
• ventilation of the room;
• decreased physical activity and a ban on watching cartoons a few hours before bedtime;
• quiet games, reading books;
• in the absence of allergies - water procedures added to bath sea ​​salt, needles, hop cones, decoction of chamomile, mint, succession;
• use after consultation with a pediatrician herbal soothing tea from chamomile, motherwort, fennel, mint (you can buy a ready-made collection at the pharmacy).

Why is a child of three to five years old naughty all the time?

At the age of three to five years, the child's psyche is rebuilt, he understands more, emotions become deeper, which often leads to conflicts between the child and others and even with himself. A docile and kind child suddenly suddenly becomes aggressive if he is forced to obey the parental will, he does not respond to prohibitions and tries to challenge them.

A child of three to five years is naughty if:

• he is accustomed to increased self-care, and now he lacks communication;
• wants to attract attention or get what they want;
• protests against excessive guardianship and reacts with whims to prohibitions;
• tries to prove his independence and the right to make decisions;
• conflicts with himself (didn’t get enough sleep, tired, undisciplined and therefore couldn’t do something, didn’t have time).

At this age, parents are often surprised why children are naughty with their mother or other close relatives, and behave peacefully and politely with strangers. For example, in kindergarten they go to bed at a quiet hour and eat well, although at home they cannot be forced to pick up a spoon or go to bed without crying.

During periods of crisis, consistency and discipline are especially important for children, which are often observed in kindergarten, but not maintained at home. By excluding health problems and setting boundaries in communication with a child, having thought through the daily routine and confidently explaining the concepts of “good” and “bad”, together you will overcome crisis periods and survive the whims of the child.

Hello dear readers! Almost all mothers are familiar with the situation: everything was going well, but the child was suddenly changed! She hangs on her mother, constantly demands breasts, sleeps terribly and is constantly naughty. Why is this happening? And what should mom do?

I had the feeling that my children were naughty almost incessantly. Although we also had good periods ... But the good periods fly by unnoticed, and the bad ones remain in the memory. At least up to 1.5-2 years, the child develops in leaps and bounds. They are also called "growth spurts".

It looks something like this: the baby becomes restless, drives you crazy, and you cannot understand why the child is naughty. However, all of a sudden (or smoothly?) everything becomes good. And you notice that significant changes have taken place in the development of the little one.

This can happen very often. Almost every month. It happens that this is especially pronounced in the year. And then the mothers watch with horror as their completely independent toddler began to demand to be carried in their arms ... And how suddenly the baby forgot how to play without a mother.

What do whims mean?

Two years ago, I came across an amazing book on the Internet - “Naughty? So it's evolving! This book turned my idea of ​​whims upside down.

We sometimes do not notice subtle changes in the psyche of the child. Or we notice, but we can’t even clearly articulate what happened? Meanwhile, very complex processes take place in the head of the baby. His nervous system is changing, his perception of the world, his thinking...

The book details these changes each month. But the main thing is not this. The main thing is to understand that the baby is naughty due to the fact that such changes are difficult for him.

For example, at 8 weeks, the baby suddenly begins to recognize patterns. Imagine, yesterday everything around was blurry, and today there are clear patterns! Such changes are a serious burden on the psyche. They can be frightening, they can cause a “brain explosion”, as an adult would say.

At some point, the little one understands that the world is not flat, but voluminous ... At some point, he begins to catch causal relationships ...

Just imagine what a big inside job this is! How would you feel about these changes yourself? Would you be comfortable and calm in contact with so many new things? Now remember that the nervous system of the baby is not yet so well developed. And you will understand what causes poor sleep and constant whining.

Moreover, the baby cannot tell anyone what is happening to him. Can't ask for advice. He does not know how to react to all this ... He can only grab hold of his mother and seek her support.

After all, the only hope and support baby in this unstable changing world - mom. Try to understand his situation well, imagine yourself in his place!

What to do?

Yes, it is not at all easy to wear and entertain the capricious. Sometimes there is not enough patience to endure tantrums before going to bed. It must be added that in the evening the jump in development is accompanied by overexcitation ... But what about mom?

• Understand your child's situation. Realize that he does not behave this way on purpose. It has no purpose to piss you off.
• Surround your child with love as much as possible. Wear patiently, play with it, let it hang on your chest;
• If a child demands something forbidden or is hysterical because of someone else's toy, let him know that you still love him. But this does not mean that you will allow him to climb on the table at dinner or take away a toy from someone.
• Try to live without expectations. Do not count on the little one to fall asleep early in the evening. Don't expect him to play with his cars himself. Do not expect anything, but look at the situation;
• Remember what you are now. This is the most important lesson for new mothers.
• If you still fell for the child - do not kill yourself. Feeling guilty will not make you a better person. Just try to be patient.

A good video of a specialist on our topic:

I hope the article was helpful. Please repost to in social networks. And subscribe to blog updates. See you soon!

Taking on the responsibility of being a parent, you have to carefully study all aspects of child psychology, offspring behavior and answers to the question of what to do about it. Sooner or later, not only mothers and fathers, but also grandparents face childish disobedience. And even having correctly determined once why the child is naughty, you do not at all guarantee yourself from problems in another.

Infants thus show their dissatisfaction, simply having no other way to do it, while older children use whims to defend their position and independence.

Psychologists distinguish certain periods in the development of a child when he is most susceptible to such behavior.

Why is the baby naughty

The most difficult thing is to understand the causes of the whims of infants. Even with a strong desire, they cannot otherwise express their dissatisfaction. Perhaps the baby is sick or hungry. He himself does not know the reason for his weeping and disobedience, but in early age can communicate pain or discomfort only through whims.

The main reasons may be as follows:

1. Hunger. A child at this age grows by leaps and bounds, and therefore, even after eating recently, he may again feel hungry.
2. Lack of warmth and comfort. Parents should change diapers on time and make sure that the child is in a comfortable position.
3. Colic are common cause. At the same time, the baby also tightens and straightens the legs, clenches his fists, strains and cries. If, after a light massage of the abdomen, colic does not go away, it is recommended to consult a doctor.
4. Overexcitation. The nervous system of the baby is still being formed, and therefore he is physically unable to cope with large amounts of information. If his day was full of impressions, it is likely that by the evening the child will feel overexcited.
5. Lack of attention. In the first few months, babies are especially sensitive, and the lack of communication with their parents makes them feel lonely and insecure. On the contrary, in the arms of his parents (especially his mother) he is comfortable and calm.
6. Diseases. In this case, in the early stages, the temperature and other symptoms may be absent. If no other causes have been identified, you should immediately visit a doctor.

Why is a child naughty at the age of one year

The first difficult period in the life of parents comes towards the end of the first year. Until this time, the child can grow up completely calm and complaisant, and suddenly his behavior changes dramatically. The baby begins to cry, scream and does not respond to the persuasion of the parents.

Psychologists explain this by the restructuring of the child's psyche, which inevitably occurs with the emergence of new opportunities, and with them needs and prohibitions. After all, before that, almost the time the baby spent in playpen However, his parents put him on his feet and taught him to walk. The child's world has changed. Many new, interesting and unknown objects and phenomena appeared in it.

However, he still cannot choose how and with what to play with - parents take away what seems most interesting, grab him at the wrong moment and put him back in the crib that has filled his teeth, leaving the child no choice. The peanut feels how mom and dad suppress his will, and expresses his indignation.

Therefore, those things that the child cannot take are recommended to be hidden in hard-to-reach places so that he cannot see or take them.

At this age, the baby may experience difficulty with speech. He wants to say something, but the words just don't add up! From impotence, the child can be capricious.

Also at this age, the appearance of teeth is likely. For a child, this is a rather painful process, so he will cry and be dissatisfied, not listen to persuasion and refuse food.

To minimize the possibility of the whims of the baby, it is recommended to pay as much attention to him as possible. It is also necessary to monitor the freshness of the air in the room, do not forget to walk daily with the child.

Whims of 3-5 year old kids

Growing up, the child begins to better understand what is happening, his emotions become deeper and more diverse, he interacts more with the outside world. At the age of 3-5, the formation of personality ends, and the child wants some independence. He no longer intends to unquestioningly obey his parents, and if they impose their will too aggressively, then with whims the baby demonstrates his disobedience, his desire to defend his position and challenge the absolute power of his elders.

This does not mean that everything should be allowed, but it is worth prohibiting gently and carefully, explaining to the baby, if possible, why he cannot do this or that. At this age, children are most actively trying to gain understanding from their parents.

The following reasons for the whims of children aged 3-5 years can be distinguished:

The older the child becomes, the more understanding he is capricious, manipulating his parents. Therefore, it is so important not to miss anything in the process of education, which should be started with love and care from an early age.

Whims are characteristic of all children. Moreover, they always have a reason. Sometimes the child just made it up, but more often the parents are too busy to notice what the child is so persistently trying to tell.

More often than not, the answer lies in the wrong upbringing. To cope with this phenomenon, it is not enough just to forbid the child to be capricious, you need to learn how to properly respond to bad behavior.

How to deal with whims

Children's whims are an organic part of the development and formation of a child's personality. However, this does not mean that the situation should be left to its fate. It is important not to miss the moment when the child is just beginning to achieve his own with the help of whims. The correct, patient and adequate reaction of the parents will not only save them and their offspring from further problems, but will also help the child understand how to express their emotions, feelings and needs.

It is important not to let whims develop into tantrums. One must also learn to share revenge from research activities. In the first case, the child does something nasty because his parents did not allow him or forced him to do something, in the second he simply tests his strength, learns what he can or cannot achieve from mom, dad, grandmother ... This can be treated with humor and love, while vindictiveness should be gently, but strictly and resolutely suppressed.

• Don't go for it. Having succumbed to the unreasonable desires of the child, wanting to resolve the situation as quickly as possible, adults run the risk that the baby will accept such a model of behavior as correct and will achieve everything by screaming and crying. The child needs to be distracted and reassured, try to talk to him about something good, say that you love him. If after this the tantrum does not stop, you should stop paying attention to the baby. After all, he cries and screams for someone, not for himself, and in the absence of spectators he will simply get bored. You should wait until the child calms down, and only after that gently tell him how upset you are by this behavior. Under no circumstances should you go backwards.
• Talk to the child, try to find out what he wants. To do this, it is best to sit next to him so that his eyes are at the same level, and ask him to formulate aloud what exactly he wants. You need to talk with the baby calmly and confidently, he must feel the support of his parents despite his naughty behavior.
• To show the baby that adults recognize him as a person, consider him big enough to make decisions, and respect his right to have his own opinion. At the same time, it is necessary to allow him to independently do what was previously forbidden. So he will feel the support of his parents, as well as confidence.
• Give the opportunity to choose. Even if this choice is imaginary. So, instead of forcing the baby to wear a hat and mittens, you should let him choose from several options. So the child will feel that his opinion matters, he is listened to.
• Never force a child to do anything. Such a method will be perceived as a frank suppression of the will and will cause a rebellion of a small person. It is better to play the situation in such a way as if the parent could not do without the help of the child.
• Remind me of something good. For example, about the fact that after dinner, which the child categorically does not want to eat, there will be a trip to visit, where the baby will be able to find new friends and play with unknown toys.
  Don't be categorical. You should not take the whims of the child only as a whim, it is quite possible that he simply cannot clearly express what he wants. You need to try to find a rational grain in the requirements of the baby and try to come to a compromise.

Children can be naughty at different ages. Despite the fact that their behavior does not bring much joy, you should not dismiss them. Every problem has a cause.

In order to get rid of unwanted children's behavior once and for all, you need to pay a lot of attention to the child: talk to him, find out his needs, discuss them and seek compromises. And also take into account age features and don't freak out.

There are many reasons why a child may be naughty. In each case, it is necessary to deal with the problem in order to avoid serious consequences in behavioral, psychological and physical development. Unfavorable factors that can lead to whims include improper upbringing, health problems, poor climate in the family, and age-related changes.

The appearance of a child in a family is a great joy. Parents have new chores and new responsibilities. If the baby is naughty and cries, then the condition completely unsettles the parents. The first months after birth, crying in most cases is caused by imperfections in the nervous and digestive systems. By three months, causeless crying disappears, and parents already recognize the cause.

Whims in the evening and at night

When the baby cannot fall asleep in the evenings, and the parents know for sure that he is full, they are not worried about gases, then the reason is related to overexcitation. The baby reaches hysterics and falls asleep only closer to midnight. Perhaps during the day we walked a lot, there was a meeting with new people. Having screamed enough, the child falls asleep. Some children need to be rocked.

Causes of whims and methods of dealing with them

If the cause of whims is associated with an illness, then it is necessary to call a doctor at home. He will prescribe the right treatment. You cannot give any medication on your own. Otherwise, the cause is easily eliminated. It is required to either change a wet diaper, feed it with milk, put it to bed or give it a drink.

Physiological imbalance

In infancy, the child still cannot explain his desires and is not fully aware of his feelings. The result is a physiological imbalance. The baby begins to cry, act up because of hunger, thirst, illness, bad sleep.

Wrong sleep pattern

The lack of a constant regimen causes violations in the behavior of the child. Therefore, parents should make adjustments to the daily routine:

• A newborn baby sleeps up to 18 hours a day. The duration of night and daytime sleep does not exceed 3-4 hours. Wake time should not exceed two hours. If you miss this time, then the baby will be difficult to put to sleep. During night awakenings, you do not need to turn on the light, play or talk for a long time with the baby.
• By three months, the duration of sleep decreases to 14-15 hours. During the day, the baby should go to bed twice. If he does not sleep during the day, or the duration of sleep is not more than 35 minutes, you should seek the advice of a doctor.
• If the baby sleeps little at night, then the reason may be related to the dry air in the room, uncomfortable clothing, and vivid daytime emotions. The baby may not sleep well due to a cold, teething.

When a child wants to sleep, he yawns and rubs his eyes with his fists. If parents notice that the child wants to sleep, but does not fall asleep, you need to help him. You can get a massage, rock your arms, sing a lullaby.

Thirst

From birth, the child should be allowed to drink plain water, especially if he is fed with mixtures. If the room is hot and dry air, then the amount of liquid should be increased.

Hunger

To understand that the baby is naughty because of hunger, you can by the following signs:

• crying appears immediately after feeding;
• whims after a short period of time after the next portion of milk;
• daytime sleep became short;
• greedily begins to suck on the breast or bottle.

If there are other signs, then the cause may be related to other factors.

Family microclimate

The bad atmosphere in the family negatively affects the child. Quarrels and conflicts between parents lead to tantrums and bad behavior.

Parents need to sort things out when the child is not in the room. You need to educate him in love, calmness, affection and understanding.

Overprotectiveness and overindulgence

It is not necessary to do everything for the baby from the very infancy. He should be given the opportunity to act independently in some situations. Excessive attentiveness, frequent gifts, the desire to protect the baby from trouble negatively affect his behavioral sphere. The kid gets used to achieve everything with tears and tantrums.

Age changes

As the child grows up, several crisis periods are distinguished. During the crisis stages, changes occur in the psychological and physiological state. At this time, the child is capricious a lot, wants to do the opposite, contrary to his parents, wants to declare his adulthood.

Medical Causes of Sleep Disorders

Medical causes of sleep disorders in children include:

• neurological diseases (neurosis, hyperactivity);
• somatic disorders (rickets, pathology of the liver or kidneys).

In all these cases, the help of specialists is needed. In most cases, it does not do without the use of drugs.

Other reasons

The task of parents as early as possible to clarify the cause of the whims and crying of the baby. Sometimes the condition indicates a disease. In the latter case, other symptoms appear (rash on the body, fever, cough, change in stool).

Colic in a newborn

The accumulation of gases in the intestines is accompanied by a sharp, unpleasant pain, so the baby begins to cry. The phenomenon most disturbs the first months of life. Additional symptoms are:

• the baby is pushing;
• pulls legs and presses them to the tummy;
• fingers clenched into a fist;
• blushes.

If the baby is on breastfeeding, then colic often appears due to the foods that mom ate. A nursing woman should strictly monitor her diet and not eat forbidden foods.

Crying after vaccination

Many children experience behavioral changes and deterioration after vaccination. After being vaccinated against hepatitis B, the child feels unwell, dizzy and has a headache, he may feel sick, his body temperature rises, and indigestion occurs. The trip to the hospital and the injection itself are stressful for the baby. In response to all these phenomena, the baby becomes capricious, screams and cries, sleeps and eats poorly. Therefore, doctors recommend giving antipyretic, anti-inflammatory, painkillers in the first days after vaccination.

After vaccination with DTP, the body temperature rises, the digestive organs are disturbed, a cough and runny nose may appear. Often the development of allergic manifestations.

On the day of vaccination, the child should be given a remedy for fever and pain, as well as for allergies. These days it is recommended to apply the baby to the breast as often as possible. BCG vaccination is accompanied by unpleasant symptoms, against which the baby becomes capricious and whiny. Sleep is disturbed and appetite is lost.

On the days of vaccinations, you need to pay as much attention to the child as possible. Small children do not understand the reason for their poor health, so the task of parents is to give medicine and ensure a calm atmosphere.

weather change

Experts say that weather phenomena negatively affect the condition of some children from birth. Bad effect:

• sudden change in temperature;
• increase in atmospheric pressure;
• wind;
• increased air humidity;
• magnetic storms.

Children born the most affected by the weather ahead of time who have recently undergone surgery, as well as those who have problems with work internal organs.

A few days before the weather changes, the baby changes in behavior. He can be capricious all day, sleep is disturbed, appetite decreases. Parents should inform the doctor about this. As a preventive measure, massage, physiotherapy, acupuncture, exercise therapy can be prescribed.

How do whims manifest themselves depending on age?

It is important for parents to take into account age-related changes and crisis stages in the process of education. Only in this case it is possible to avoid conflicts with the child and prevent the appearance of whims.

Infants

Babies under one year old require special attention. Whims and crying can indicate discomfort and illness, so behavior cannot be left unattended. Why do babies act up at 1 month old? A month-old baby is naughty and cries due to hunger, fever, wet diapers. As soon as the discomfort is eliminated, the baby becomes calm and cheerful. At 2 months, the baby cries because of discomfort (wet diaper, uncomfortable clothes, hot air, change in weather), lack of attention and communication, fatigue or pain.

All of these reasons can cause anxiety in the behavior of a 4 and 5-month-old baby. An additional factor is teething. At 8 months, the child begins to actively explore the world around him. The appearance of new people, prohibitions, the wrong daily routine, little attention - all this negatively affects the behavioral sphere of the baby.

Baby is naughty before bed

If a two-month-old baby is periodically naughty at bedtime, the reasons may be associated with vivid emotions and pain. Emotional overload. Not only negative, but also positive emotions lead to excitement nervous system baby. Two hours before bedtime, you should exclude active games, watching TV. It is useful for a baby to bathe in water, listen to calm music, read a book. The same reason can lead to changes in the behavior of a child older than 6 months.

Wrong daily routine. From the age of 3 months, the baby should be taught to get up and go to bed at the same time. Teaching needs to start, as closer to 7 months it will be more difficult to do this. Parents are sounding the alarm when the baby suddenly began to act up sharply during motion sickness. This usually happens with babies over the age of 10 months. Grown up babies no longer need motion sickness before going to bed, they just need to be laid in the crib.

During feeding

When a baby cries, whines during feeding, the condition may indicate a disease (otitis media, stomatitis, sore throat).

If the baby is crying and acting up at the breast, there may not be enough milk, a strong flow of milk, or an unpleasant aftertaste of milk.

Whims in one year

At 1.5 years old, whims and crying appear in response to prohibitions and refusal. Parents need to be consistent and consistent in their demands.

Two years

Children are already aware of what is possible and what is not. It is easier for them to explain the reason for the ban. In the case of whims, the child's attention is easily switched to another object or event.

Crisis of three years

By the age of three, the social circle of friends is expanding. At this age, many children are sent to kindergarten. Conflicts between peers and parents often cause whims and tantrums.

How to calm a baby?

How to deal with whims? The following tips will help:

• pick up and press to the stomach;
• make a massage;
• distract attention with a loud bright object, a loud voice;
• turn on a pleasant melody;
• changing hands helps, for example, a baby can be given to a grandmother or dad;
• distract toys, mobiles.

What to do if the baby is crying? Walking outside will help. How do you respond to bad child behavior? You can not raise your voice in response to whims and crying. You should remain calm and try to switch the attention of the baby.

Prevention of capricious behavior of children

How to wean a child from whims? Psychologists advise to be guided by some rules:

• No need to suppress the independence of the child and perform simple actions for him (buttoning a jacket, cleaning toys).
• It is important to control your emotions in response to the baby's tantrum. You need to be calm, self-possessed, in no case should you shout back. It is better to ignore the moment of whim, and then calmly explain the behavior.
• Blackmail tactics should not be used in education. For example: “If you don’t put your toys away, you won’t go for a walk.” This behavior provokes a response at an older age: “If you scold for bad marks I won't come home."
• It is important to be consistent and faithful in the chosen tactics of behavior. You can't solve a problem one way today and another way tomorrow. If it was decided to refuse something, then this should become the rule.

Don't blame your child for bad behavior. It is necessary to explain to him that the act upset him, but this is not a reason not to love him.

When you need specialist help

If the child is often naughty and for no reason, you should contact a specialist. Problems begin to be solved with a visit to a pediatrician and a neurologist. The child may cry and act up all the time due to diseases of the internal organs, so the help of other narrow specialists will also be required.

At 2.5 years old, the "transitional age" begins in babies. Children deny obvious things, try to argue with adults. Favorite phrases of children at this time: “no”, “I don’t want”, “I won’t”. “How to discern more serious problems behind the frequent tears of a baby, how to wean a child to be capricious, why does a baby whine, freak out and hysteria over trifles?” - these questions occupy young mothers more and more often.

stubborn age

A capricious child shows the first protests at 2-3 years old, this is an important emotional development. Psychologists call this time the "crisis of three years." Children 3-4 years old try to separate their own "I" from their mother. The speech of a three-year-old is not yet developed, so babies use other ways of showing emotions and stubbornness: screaming, tears, falling to the floor and damaging property. Tantrums become more frequent. Exactly this best time to rebuild the system of relationships in the family and adjust the methods of education.

Only by the age of 4 do children realize their independence, have favorite activities and food preferences. Babies are enough independent personalities. Most of them attend kindergarten and use speech to formulate their desires. Children of this age are much less likely to be capricious. Outbursts of stubbornness are more likely to copy the behavior model in the family. That is why you should not swear in front of kids and even more so include children in adult conflicts. A capricious four-year-old child should already alert parents, frequent tantrums are a reason to visit a neurologist and a child psychologist.

At 4-5 years old, the whims of a child indicate a misunderstanding in the family, an inability to compromise (we recommend reading:). Some five-year-olds attract their parents' attention by crying because they don't know any other way to communicate their feelings to adults.

Why does "I don't want" appear?

Dear reader!

This article talks about typical ways to solve your questions, but each case is unique! If you want to know how to solve your particular problem - ask your question. It's fast and free!

Tantrums are best explained small child grandmothers: “Why is your child being naughty again? Spoiled, now he turns you around as he wants! Some parents really follow their child’s lead in order to keep up with the modern rhythm of life: “Let’s go soon, and then we’ll buy you what you say” or “Wear whatever you want, just don’t cry!”. In such situations, the baby quickly understands that hysteria and stubbornness can make their parents fulfill their desires. To solve the problem of whims, it is important to understand their true cause. Sometimes parents mistake the child's reaction to excessive parental demands for whims. Often the baby really does not know how to fulfill this or that requirement of the parent.

Most often, the spoiled child is the fault of the parents themselves, who follow his lead

Standard Reasons

Why do we so often face whims? There are several apparent causes of tantrums in children:

1. Testing parents for strength. The first tantrums of the baby scare mom and dad. By repeating them over and over, the baby, according to all the laws of psychology, checks the reaction of the parents and determines the boundaries of what is permitted: how will mom react if you turn over a bowl of soup, what will happen if you bite dad in anger? Tantrums are a way to test the authority of elders and how serious the prohibitions of parents are.
2. Fear of innovation. Sensitive and emotional children require a special approach. Such children are afraid of everything new. A new meal, or "moving" to your bed, may be accompanied by tears and categorical denial. Capricious two year old does not agree to go to a new site - promise that you will be next to him and play together in the sandbox. Feeling safe, the baby will definitely compromise.
3. Normal rejection. Occurs in older age. For the first few years of life, parents got used to deciding absolutely everything for the baby: what to wear, what to eat, when to go to bed. At the age of four, a child can already determine whether he likes this or that outfit or dish, and what he does not like at all. If the opinions of the baby and mother do not coincide, a protest may arise. Perhaps it's time to listen to the child in some matters?

Consequences of upbringing

1. The result of overprotection. Some parents seek to protect their child from various life problems: mothers and grandmothers feed the child from a spoon for a long time, and only use a stroller for a walk. Attempts to call such a baby to independence are met with protest. In this case, the whims of a small child are connected with the fact that he does not understand why the mother does not fulfill her “direct duties” - she stopped feeding the little one and dressing him.
2. An attempt to get attention. By the age of two, children are already well aware of what needs to be done to attract parental attention. If adults feel sorry for the baby every time after tantrums, then soon stomping and screaming will become frequent guests in this house. A capricious two-year-old child is well aware that with his behavior he instantly attracts the attention of adults.

For some kids, a tantrum is the best way to get attention.

How to deal with whims?

Defeating the whims of a small child is not easy. This is especially evident when the mother is in a hurry, and the baby is still busy with something and is not going anywhere. The child, seeing irritation, will be even more stubborn. In most cases, the conflict ends in favor of adults, and the child, through tears and nerves, still gathers and follows his mother. If such situations are repeated, it is time to change the rules of communication in the family and teach the baby to express his emotions in a more effective and adult way - in words. The most important thing in overcoming whims is parental self-control. Do not raise your voice, it will only increase the rebellion. Try not to be nervous so as not to show your helplessness to your son or daughter. If you want to calm down faster, think about how courageous and determined your baby has become. He defends his opinion and is already arguing with an adult.

Crybaby a year, one and a half, two and even three years is a normal phenomenon, but if a five-year-old child throws tantrums, this is already a reason to visit a neurologist and a child psychologist. The doctor will check the development of the baby and give recommendations on education and interaction with him.

There are several rules that will help to cope with such a difficult transitional age. Here are some tips to help moms who don't want to deal with outbursts of stubbornness:

• Check your requirements for the baby, perhaps some requests are really overpriced. Maybe the baby is already able to decide which sweater to wear on the street, or he really does not like tomato juice.
• It is necessary to develop a clear system of prohibitions. For the first time, 4-5 strict “no” is enough. For example, you can not approach street dogs or a lit stove, as well as other prohibitions in accordance with age. Rules are not violated under any pretext. These “no” must be confirmed by all family members, including grandparents.

• It is difficult for a kid to follow parental instructions every day: so that the child does not rebel, offer him options: “Which toy will we take for a walk, an elephant or a car?” Ask the kid for advice and he will gladly compromise.
• Develop independence in children. Do not do for the child what he himself is able to do. Instead of dressing the child, instruct him to put on his own pants. It is better to go for a walk 15 minutes later, but let the baby dress himself.
• Do not respond to the whims of the child. The best way to overcome a tantrum is to ignore it. At home, you can leave the child in the room, and do other things yourself. Without increased attention, the baby will calm down much faster. If the tantrum caught you among people, you need to try to find a secluded place away from the annoying environment as soon as possible, then switch the baby's attention to something more interesting.
• Analyze the situation. Each flash of stubbornness is an unfulfilled need of the baby. At such a young age, children cannot want something bad. Maybe a capricious baby simply does not have enough attention or communication - adults should think about it.
• Praise your child for the behavior you like. Praise sincerely, describing all the good that the baby has done.

Evening whims

If a child is naughty and cries in the evening, or tantrums begin before going to bed, this indicates an emotional overexcitation of the baby. Emotions accumulated during the day do not allow you to quickly relax and fall asleep. This is especially true for. Often, evening tears occur in children who refuse daytime sleep. To avoid evening whims, you can follow the following recommendations:

• Be sure to walk together during the day. Evening walks (1-1.5 hours before bedtime) have a beneficial effect on sleep.
• Ventilate the children's room before going to bed. The optimal air temperature in the children's room, according to Dr. Komarovsky, is 18-22 degrees.
• Three hours before bedtime, do not allow the child to play active games: hide and seek, catch up. Do not watch cartoons at night.

It is better to devote time before going to bed to quiet activities - to assemble a puzzle, read a book

• For an evening pastime, it is good to use board games or read books together. Quiet games help prevent the whims of a small child in the evening.
• If the baby does not have allergies, then before going to bed you can take baths with the addition of herbal decoctions. It is good for evening baths to use decoctions of mint, string or chamomile.
• With the permission of the pediatrician, herbal teas can be given instead of regular drinks. Fennel, lemongrass or mint are brewed for evening tea. Ready fees can be purchased at the pharmacy. Soothing tea can be drunk no earlier than 2-3 hours before bedtime.

How to outsmart the capricious?

Most parents try to wean their kids from acting up. There are several ways to outsmart and calm the little capricious:

1. Talk to me, friend! When all the arguments have been exhausted, and the child is still naughty, try to connect a figurehead. Baby's favorite toy is the best helper. Take a bunny or a bear in your hand, speak on his behalf: “Hi, baby! You are so sad! I'm sad too, let's go for a walk? After a couple of sentences, the baby will begin to listen. This is the most easy way to stop the whims of a two-year-old child.
2. Change the subject. If you feel that a protest is brewing and the baby desperately does not want to do something, there is no need to fight, it is better to just change the subject. Ask the kid who he played with on the playground, about new friends, interesting Easter cakes, think about the dog. A couple of minutes of an enthusiastic conversation is enough to switch attention, and then again remember about water procedures.

Cast mother's assistant it may turn out to be a toy that will dispel the capricious mood of the baby

Alternative Methods

When standard ways to calm your baby don't work, you can try something new. There are alternative methods to prevent tantrums:

1. Everything is the opposite. The best way to treat the baby with something useful - to say that there is no way to eat it. For example, how to treat a child with a fish? Under any pretext, lure the child into the kitchen and pretend that you do not notice him, but at the same time you are eating something. When you see your baby, hide the plate. Such activities will surely interest the child and show interest in food. If you want to take your child to the park, say that you can’t go to the park today. So you can prevent the whims of your child.
2. Feast of Disobedience. It's hard to live under restrictions all the time. Give your child a holiday from time to time. On one of the weekends, let your child know that today he can do anything. On this day, coordinate with the child the menu, time and place of the walk, if possible, give a small present. In the evening, talk heart to heart with the baby, ask if he liked today. Promise to arrange such holidays once a week, but on the condition that the rest of the days the baby will obey (we recommend reading:). The whims of a small child will become more rare.
3. Pillow fights. A capricious child cannot throw out negative emotions. If there is no way out of the situation, call the child “to fight.” To do this, you will need 2 small pillows or Stuffed Toys. With the help of a five-minute “fight”, the baby will throw out aggression, all grievances will be forgotten.

Following these rules and focusing on the mood of the baby, the mother will always be able to negotiate with the little capricious. Coping with outbursts of stubbornness at the very beginning is much easier than calming a child after a tantrum.