What happens if a husband hits his wife. Why does a husband beat his wife - the psychology of the causes, consequences and the correct solution to the problem. Causes of Domestic Violence

In relation to his wife, this is a typical family situation that simply cannot be ignored. In particular, if during the conflict situation a woman receives severe bodily injuries. What to do in this case? Is there a crime in this? If a husband beat his wife, what threatens him? We find answers to vital questions.

Family conflicts often reach the point of assault by a spouse. Despite this, women continue to glue the long-broken bowl. Consider the most common grounds for conflicts in the family later in the article.

Alcoholism

This concept includes a person's loyal attitude to alcohol. Often he resorts to it to relieve stress or tension. Sometimes spouses do not even notice how they gradually become hostages of alcohol. Addiction can occur in one spouse or both. If a man suffers from addiction, then the wife and children are constantly in stress and an unhealthy psychological atmosphere. Therefore, often in such families low level income, unemployment, frequent conflicts, all kinds of violence and cruelty. In general, alcoholism leads to the involvement of doctors and law enforcement.

Jealousy

In society, it is believed that jealousy is a manifestation of strong feelings. Often this position is held by the older generation. But if you look at the consequences of that very jealousy, it becomes clear that it literally destroys families. Unreasonable jealousy leads to frequent quarrels in the family.

Often, jealous people show such character traits as suspicion, incredulity, emotional instability, self-doubt, low self-esteem.

Treason

A frequent circumstance that provokes family conflict. Negative attitude one of the spouse to the fact of infidelity leads to constant distrust. Such a "sick" union often ends in divorce.

Self-esteem level

Paradoxical as it may seem, but if one of the spouses is not satisfied with the significance in the family, then sooner or later this fact will cause a conflict situation. This can be said about the disrespect of partners to each other. Even a minor conflict can develop into a serious "conflict" flame. And the root of the problem is inadequate self-esteem.

If a husband beat his wife at home, what punishment will he incur? Let's figure it out further.

What article threatens for beating?

In this case, there are several solutions. If a husband beat his wife, what threatens him? For minor bodily harm - 3-4 months of arrest. For prolonged torture - up to 3 years.

Factors that influence the classification of domestic violence:

• intensity of physical damage;
• systematic beatings;
• collected evidence base, which confirms the fact of beating and physical damage.

If as a result of blows scratches, bruises, abrasions, more serious injuries appeared, then we can safely talk about criminal liability.

If a husband beats his wife, what is the article? Strong beating automatically falls under Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. However, there are situations in which the doctor can record the complaints of the injured person, the reaction to palpation of certain parts of the body where the blow was struck.

If a hypothetical cause of the formation of injuries on the body and their prescription is prescribed in the doctor’s conclusion, then the employees have the right to establish the fact of beatings and the degree of attitude of the accused person towards them.

Article 116 provides for not only blows and bodily harm, but also other acts of a violent nature. For example, hand-wringing, slapping, strangulation, hair-pulling.

Does a husband beat his wife from time to time? What is the punishment? Torture is a term that refers to physical abuse and beatings that occur systematically. In order for law enforcement agencies to be able to classify the spouse's actions as a crime under Article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, documentary evidence must be provided - a certificate, a doctor's report and a medical examination.

If a husband beat his wife - what is the article? The punishment depends on the severity of the injury. Light harm to health involves article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. It talks about minor physical damage, a temporary deterioration in well-being. If these conditions have come as a result of the unlawful acts of the spouse who used physical force.

Several types of accusations “shine” for a domestic abuser, but it directly depends on the degree of harm.

Causing grievous harm

The Criminal Code of the Russian Federation provides for Article 111. This document means damage to health that is life-threatening. As a result, the following complications could arise:

• loss of an organ, hearing, vision, speech;
• loss of functionality of one of the body parts;
• abortion;
• mental disorder;
• addiction or substance abuse;
• disfigurement of the face that cannot be corrected;
• significant loss of working capacity (by 1/3 or more), as well as its complete loss.

If a husband beat his wife, liability under this article provides for imprisonment of up to 8 years.

Moderate damage to health

Moderate severity is considered non-life-threatening, since it does not lead to the consequences that are provided for in Article 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. However, as a result of the cruel actions of the spouse, the victim manifests a disorder of health for a long time. Up to a significant loss of performance.

If a husband beats his wife, article 112 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation provides for the following types of punishments:

• imprisonment or forced labor for a period of 3 years;
• arrest up to 6 months;
• imprisonment up to 3 years.

It is important that the doctor correctly assess the severity of the physical damage caused.

Slight harm to the physical condition of the victim

This type of physical harm is considered minor, but it also faces a prison sentence. A short-term health disorder or a slight loss of working capacity is considered to be light harm.

A sanction is imposed on the offender, which is appointed by the court, namely:

• a fine of up to 40,000 rubles or the offender's salary for the last three months;
• performance of compulsory works up to 480 hours;
• correctional labor for 1 year or less (at the discretion of the court);
• imprisonment up to 4 months.

If, in a state of passion, a husband beats his wife, article 113 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation threatens. If the state of affect is caused by negative actions on the part of the victim (insults, bullying), then the responsibility of the perpetrator can be mitigated. The maximum penalty in this case is imprisonment for a period of 2 years.

Husband beat the child

Beating a child is not a misdemeanor, but a crime. This is the infliction of physical harm to a minor.

If the spouse beat the child, then you need to immediately call the police squad. After that, you will have to perform the procedure for removing the beatings from the doctor, to involve a lawyer in the case. Then wait for the trial.

If the violence against the child was committed publicly, then the victim may not write a statement for the trial.

If a husband beat his wife, what punishment we found out. But for beating a minor child, it will be more severe. If law enforcement agencies have not identified the elements of the crime, then he will be deprived of parental rights and a criminal sanction will be imposed. He will be required to pay a fine of up to 100,000 rubles or be imprisoned for three years.

All cases of violence against children are recorded. Guardianship and guardianship authorities, special police departments, psychologists, the prosecutor's office and teachers act as protection.

In addition, the court may consider criminal liability in case of detection abuse with children in accordance with Article 156 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

For beating a child, a man is punished under two articles.

Where can a woman go for help?

If a man decides to dissolve his hands on a woman, then this is not only low in terms of morality, but also illegal. In the case of such a cruel act, every woman should know: the husband beat his wife, that he faces punishment.

To begin with, you should remember: if the spouses started a fight, then the wife should try to leave the “battlefield” as soon as possible.

Husband beat his wife, what threatens him? Term, but depending on the degree of physical injury.

So, if a woman intends to punish a man, then she will have to go through several instances. To confirm the fact of domestic violence, you need to contact:

• to the police;
• to a medical institution for a doctor to record the beatings;
• to a lawyer;
• to court.

The injured party must apply for protection in a strict manner. Otherwise, not all types of physical harm inflicted reach the court.

For example, the husband’s cruel actions left bruises or he hit him in the face, but he did not have a weapon in his hands. In this case, if already ex-husband beat his wife, what threatens him? In such a situation, the police will not even accept the application.

Punishment is due only if there are serious bodily injuries. From the letter of the law, this is called "various measures of responsibility."

How effective are the articles of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation?

Despite the fact that domestic violence is a frequent occurrence, law enforcement agencies fail to carry out preventive measures.

Only 3% of all cases are brought to trial.

For example, article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation is a frequent accusation. However, this article does not provide adequate protection to the injured party. A victim of domestic violence must file an application with the court, independently collect all evidence (remove beatings from medical experts, find witnesses), and also play the role of a public prosecutor in court. Often, you can’t even count on legal advice from law enforcement agencies.

An ambiguous situation lies in Article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. It is necessary to provide an evidence base for each of the cases of beating and violence, to prove the intent of the perpetrator. It is almost impossible to carry out such work independently without the support of specialists. However, not everyone has enough finances for these processes. Therefore, many Russian women adhere to the principle of "dirty dirty linen in public."

Not all women are morally ready to turn their lives 180 degrees. Excuses such as “I have nowhere to go”, “the child needs a father”, “financially I will not pull the children myself” come to the fore. Therefore, it is necessary to solve the problem of domestic violence in stages.

To analyze the existing domestic violence, it is necessary:

• determine the cause aggressive behavior spouse;
• talk with your husband about saving your marriage (you need to change, otherwise the family cannot be saved);
• if the spouse has decided to change, then the wife should support him in every possible way; you need to praise for small successes, encourage and not criticize in front of strangers.

If a conflict situation is brewing, then the wife must provide a plan for her salvation. Make every effort to prevent conflict from flaring up.

It is almost impossible to solve the problem of domestic violence in a family without a break. Since few of the men are aware of the problems and are ready to change in order to save the family.

Every woman should soberly assess the situation and not allow herself to be mocked.

Husband beats his wife, endure or leave?

The modern world is difficult to imagine without the manifestation of aggression. People face this negative phenomenon almost everywhere. The rudeness of drivers, visitors standing in line at a clinic or store, etc. is not particularly surprising. Fortunately, such episodes, as a rule, are perceived as nothing more than ordinary situations and are quickly erased from our memory.

Family aggression is seen in a completely different way. And although women have suffered from the beatings of their husbands at all times, enduring, slowly passing away and not complaining about violence, today, in our enlightened age, such a thing is simply unthinkable. Each of the family members, being at home, should feel completely safe, enjoying the warmth and comfort of the atmosphere that warms his home. But what if the husband beats his wife? Let's try to understand this issue.

Pathological causes of aggression

Unfortunately, violence in modern families is far from uncommon. Few people are surprised by the fact that a man beats a woman, whether she is a legal wife or just a lover. Moreover, the beatings themselves are carefully hidden by many ladies. This happens mainly because of the fear of public opinion.

As a result, a painful situation arises in the family, and the problem is not solved. And not only adults suffer from this. Domestic violence also has a negative impact on children.

In order for a woman to understand what to do if her husband beats her, one should first of all get an answer to the question of what pushes a man to do this, who until recently promised to love and protect his chosen one.

Psychologists clearly distinguish between cases where aggression exists in the family all the time or was only an isolated case. If we consider the first option, then most likely the domestic tyrant has serious mental or behavioral disorders. But if the second situation takes place, then it is unlikely that it will be possible to express an unambiguous opinion here.

Unfortunately, in modern society, no one teaches girls how they should choose their husband. Because of this, marriage is sometimes formalized literally with the first comer. And just a few months later life together a woman begins to realize what kind of person her husband is.

However, everyone can guess about the likelihood of a problem of domestic violence even before the wedding, drawing attention to the strange behavior of her betrothed. For example, there is nothing surprising in the fact that a man looks at other women. This is done by many representatives of the strong half of humanity. But at the same time, not everyone will peep into other people's windows or start the day with a glass of alcohol.

Why does a husband beat his wife? The psychology of this phenomenon allows us to identify the following most common causes:

1. Finding a man in a state of intoxication. In this case, the habitual restraint of the spouse seems to dissolve under the influence of alcohol. At the same time, previously pent-up discontent and hidden grievances break out.
2. Chronic alcoholism. Such a state inevitably leads to the degradation of the individual. And this, in turn, completely destroys a person's value system.
3. Mental illness. In this case, even a psychiatrist is not always able to help.

If at least one of the cases described above takes place, then the woman should seriously think about whether she should stay in the family. Most likely, she needs to run away from her husband as soon as possible, to whom it is simply impossible to help. Often, many women take the path of self-sacrifice. And this is their big mistake. They make every effort to save their loved one, often losing health, and sometimes even life.

If the husband beats, where to turn? Today, specialized anti-crisis centers operate in many cities. They are designed for victims of domestic violence. This is where a woman can turn for help.

Alcoholism

It is worth dwelling on this reason for family tyranny in more detail. After all, alcohol often turns loving husband into a cruel man who revels in his power. Based on the available statistics, in most families in which the spouse suffers from alcoholism, conflicts, as a rule, end not just in fights, but also in causing quite serious physical injuries. It should be borne in mind that the person who literally does not part with a glass is even capable of killing if he shows aggression.

But is it worth it to immediately break off family relations if a husband beats his wife while intoxicated? Such an opinion sounds from TV screens and often appears in print media. However, in this case, psychologists are advised to pay attention to subsequent events. There are men who, after they sober up, are aware of their actions. They understand all the consequences of such actions and show complete readiness to get rid of vices. In this situation, the woman, by her departure, will only aggravate the condition of her husband, who, quite possibly, will attempt suicide.

But it also happens that the husband still does not realize his mistake. In this case, the woman is advised to immediately break off the relationship. After all, she was the first to suffer from domestic violence, and in the future, children can also become victims. Such behavior of the father will leave a negative imprint on their psyche for the rest of their lives. In addition, psychologists warn that aggression with each new episode will only increase its strength. And this, sooner or later, can lead to the most tragic consequences.

Jealousy

Why does a husband beat his wife? Sometimes the reason for this is banal jealousy. In such cases, the beatings are intermittent. Sometimes a woman herself provokes a man to such a manifestation of aggression. This happens if she herself gives him a reason for jealousy.

A well-known proverb says: "He beats, so he loves." Is it so? If a husband beats his wife, the psychology of such a phenomenon does not at all indicate passionate love. Such manifestations of aggression only testify to the mental pain that the spouse is unable to cope with.

Somewhere, humanly, a domestic tyrant can be understood. To do this, the victim of violence only needs to remember what she experienced at the moment when she was jealous of her husband for a random stranger or girlfriend. Only then will she understand his behavior. However, if the situation repeats itself again and again, and there were no real grounds for jealousy, then the woman must decide whether she should keep the family, or is it better to leave her husband.

For those who want to maintain a relationship, psychologists recommend completely reconsidering the style of communication with a spouse. But if there is any doubt about the need for this, then you should think carefully about whether it is worth living with a person you do not love?

A real man?

According to psychologists, women, who fought for their equality for a long time, achieved a complete victory. In modern society, men have been deprived of the opportunity to occupy the leading positions for which they, in fact, were born. And for some of them, physical aggression is almost the only way to prove their worth and power over their soulmate.

This is hardly an excuse when considering the question, "Why does a husband beat his wife?" After all, a reasonable person will not assert himself by applying force to a weak partner. He is likely to look for work to his liking and create an environment in the family in which it would never occur to anyone to defend his own superiority. If at the same time the lady does everything to help her chosen one, then it will be completely fine.

There is another reason why a husband beats his wife. Psychology considers it in connection with an attempt at humiliating or rude control by the spouse. Sometimes ladies behave as if men are obliged to constantly go on about their mood and fulfill all whims. And sometimes a woman openly, and in a vulgar form, demonstrates her superiority. Can she then say: "My husband does not love me"? No. Indeed, many men simply cannot stand such behavior.

Fortunately, in such a situation, not every representative of the strong half of humanity decides to assault. But a woman must understand that her constant dissatisfaction with her husband will certainly become the main cause of conflicts in the family. And it is likely that the fact that the spouse raised his hand to his chosen one indicates his despair. A normal man is unlikely to be able to live with someone because of whom he is not able to fully control his emotions. In this case, a woman will need to reconsider her behavior.

Is she to blame?

As you can see, answer the question: “Why does a husband beat his wife?” Psychologists definitely can't. Is it possible that the lady herself is the cause of domestic violence? Yes. This happens, and quite often. This happens primarily due to the fact that a woman takes the position of a victim. She believes that she is good for nothing, which is why she can be treated quite rudely. What to do in such a situation? Psychologists recommend that a woman immediately begin work on gaining self-confidence. Otherwise, aggression will occur in any of her chosen ones.

A man beats a woman in those cases when she behaves inappropriately. With his aggression, the husband tries to bring her to her senses, not finding any other way to do it.

Sometimes a husband beats his wife for deliberately causing her mental pain, slander, rudeness and insults. What should ladies do in this case? First of all, think about whether there is something in their behavior that exposes you to a blow? Indeed, sometimes for family well-being it becomes sufficient to make relationships more sincere and better. And far from always in such a situation it is possible to unequivocally state: "My husband does not love me."

Relationship between parents

If a woman complains: "My husband is mocking me," she should also consider the psychological background of her behavior. There is an opinion that girls always try to recreate in their family the model of relations that existed in the parental home. However, this is not at all the case. According to the results of the survey, most victims of domestic violence in childhood did not have enough motherly love. The chosen ones of women who grew up in such conditions are most often men who have faced similar life difficulties. Because of this similarity, a strong emotional bond is established between partners. The girl believes that the chosen one will certainly understand all her emotions, experiences and feelings. But the reality is not so rosy at all. Such a connection only means that the tyrant has chosen the ideal victim for himself.

Experts believe that in such a relationship between a husband and wife there is such a strong psychological bond that it becomes impossible to break it. During periods of calm, violent passion and emotional attachment flare up between them. At this time, lovers stop paying attention to the whole world around them and seem to dissolve into each other. With a long marriage, such a relationship becomes even stronger. It is becoming more and more difficult for a woman to find a way out of this situation. But the longer the marriage lasts, the more pronounced the violence caused by "love" becomes. It is the emotional connection that exists between the spouses that makes the victim believe in all the repeated promises that the beatings will remain in the past.

Such a model of behavior is considered one of the signs of the manifestation of the "Stockholm syndrome". The wife is afraid of her husband, but at the same time constantly finds excuses for his horrific behavior, going through humiliation and beatings.

Why do representatives of the weaker half of humanity forgive physical harm to their health? This fact is explained by the manifestation of emotional dependence. In such families, as a rule, the man forbids his wife to work. This leads to the fact that her social circle is significantly reduced, and she is deprived of the material foundation for leading an independent life in the event of a divorce. If the wife tries to leave the family, then this threatens her with new beatings. After all, a man is also psychologically dependent on his chosen one.

prone to tyranny

What personality traits does a man possess who is capable of showing aggression? The desire to dominate is characteristic of:

1. epileptoids. This type of personality is characterized by a tendency to get annoyed because of all sorts of little things. Such people are accustomed to order, pedantic, stingy and vindictive. It's quite easy to get them out. For this, any oversight on the part of the chosen one is enough. Epileptoids simply love to find fault with various manifestations of feelings, emotions, as well as the actions of a woman. As their spouse, they choose those ladies who have similar personality traits or occupy a high social status. Such men see an equal person in the chosen one. That is why the respect of the spouse ladies should be earned. Other women are unlikely to be able to live with a man who resolves disputes with his fists.
2. paranoid personality. These are embittered and suspicious people, prone to groundless jealousy. A woman who marries such a man should be prepared for constant claims and reproaches. Psychologists note that at the initial stage of the relationship, their husband does not humiliate them at all. On the contrary, he creates an image of a noble and courteous personality. However, later this person shows his sadistic inclinations, experiencing real pleasure from violence. Psychologists warn that such men first hurt, and then apologize for their actions for a very long time. Moreover, tearful prayers uttered on their knees bring them as much pleasure as the subsequent pouring out of accumulated aggression on their spouse. If a woman is not ready to accept such rules of the game, then the consequences of such an alliance will be quite difficult for her.

What else can be called, based on the advice of a psychologist, signs of a tyrant husband? A spouse's propensity for aggression can be caused by the following factors:

• existing traumatic brain injury;
• tough approach to the educational process;
• scandals of parents, which often ended in beatings;
• poor performance while studying at school;
• discipline problem in childhood, as well as the manifestation of aggression against living beings;
• lack of empathy for the people around them.

What advice can psychologists give? The signs of a tyrant husband listed above, in their opinion, are not always a prerequisite for the occurrence of violence. If the spouse has a strong will, then he will carefully control his behavior, emotions and feelings. However, with a long-term influence of psycho-emotional stress and stress factors, the birth of a monster is quite possible. From here important advice: try to maintain a favorable atmosphere in the family if this person is dear to you. As practice shows, in any conflicts, most often both partners are to blame. A woman often, without realizing it, acts as a provocateur.

Specialists also identify several types of men who contribute to the appearance of a victim in a woman. Let's consider them in more detail.

depreciating

Such men try by any means to level the achievements of women. Sometimes this is done even indirectly. This is expressed, for example, in ugly statements about his chosen one in a circle of friends, in ignoring and devaluing her actions. The husband humiliates his wife, while rising in his eyes. Psychologists explain this behavior by the fact that in their hearts such spouses remain insecure boys, afraid that the woman will leave them.

If such a man begins to criticize his lady of the heart, saying that the dinner is too hot or the children are not brought up as they should, and she begins to apologize to him, then the situation will certainly escalate later. After all, a woman begins to play the role of a victim. How should she deal with this? Try not to react to his remarks. Indeed, otherwise the husband will mock his wife even more.

Destructive sadist

At the beginning of family relationships, they are wonderful spouses. However, some time passes, and the wife begins to complain that her husband hits her in the face. After that, he begins to literally crawl on his knees and ask for forgiveness. And after a short period of time, he again raises his hand to his spouse, and his actions are on the rise. Such a sadist does not seek to break off relations. It always works according to the same scenario. At first he beats, then heals (gives flowers or expensive gifts), and then mocks with even greater force. Often women do not leave such men, believing that everything can still be fixed. But in this they are gravely mistaken.

collapsing

And such a man needs to be saved himself. The collapsing type includes drug addicts and alcoholics, workaholics and people addicted to games. They are not recognized in society and are hopeless in all respects.

There are quite a few options for solving the problems that women choose. For example, they begin to degrade along with a man, grabbing a glass or a cigarette. And the chosen one begins to pull along. A woman can also be strong by investing money, time and love in her husband. But most often infantile men after a certain period go to another. The woman is left with nothing. Her soul is devastated, and her health is undermined, if not completely lost.

domestic violence- a complex situation that requires serious investigation. This is what we will try to do today. There is an opinion that violence from a man against a woman is possible, first of all, where there is a place for alcohol or drugs. This statement is not entirely true. Even quite intelligent and seemingly prosperous families can experience such situations. And they are the hardest to deal with. Since, as they say, there are no prerequisites for assault.

Question: What to do if a husband beats his wife? remains open to many women. And all because they do not know that it is they who make the decision. Not everyone can realize that male tyranny is the right path to divorce or to a hospital bed.

Who is the home tyrant? Why do men even get like this?

To answer this question unambiguously, oddly enough, is very difficult. There can be many reasons. And in each case, in each specific family has its own reasons and conditions. But in any case, no reasons can justify the fact that a husband beats and insults his wife, that is, a strong man beats a weaker one.

Consider the most common reasons:

1. A man completely copies the situation of parental relationships. Otherwise, he simply does not know how. His father "learned" his wife with his fists. In the head of the child, such a model of behavior is postponed as the norm. And that means he should behave the same way.

2. Beating is a way of self-affirmation. This logic is embedded in men - pathological losers. If difficulties arise in their life (professional or everyday), the only way out is to take out the hatred at home, thus relieving stress. Indeed, at work, not everyone will dare to fill the face of the boss, and even more so the loser. No opportunity "express" everything to the offender, which means you can take out the evil on the closest and most defenseless person - your wife.

3. Alcohol and drugs are the most frequent companions of fights and showdowns in the family. A person in a state of intoxication, clouded consciousness is capable of the most terrible deeds. At the same time, he does not control himself, which means he is not aware of his actions. Even the reason "explosion" may later turn out to be extremely small and insignificant, but this will not change the essence. As a rule, in such situations, after the onset of enlightenment in the head, sobering up, a period of repentance begins. But this is only until the next dose. And then everything is according to the script.

4. Some women may unknowingly cause aggression from a man. Such women, as a rule, try to take a dominant position in the family, begin to insult and humiliate men. Sooner or later it can end badly.

5. There are also women who endure everything. Their spinelessness, spinelessness act like a red rag on a bull. The husband hit his wife, and she endured it and kept silent - the situation is common. Man "gets used" to his own impunity and secures behind the scenes for his wife the role of the victim. Such women are usually tormented by a false sense of duty. And they simply do not realize that they endanger not only themselves, but also those around them, for example, children.

Domestic tyrant: typology and behavioral features

The assault has become so widespread in modern society that whole science studying the problem of domestic tyranny. And this science divided male fighters into two types.

"Pitbull"
For him, any quarrel, skirmish or just a skirmish must certainly end in assault. Leading this game, a man (if you can call him that) at first apologizes after each fight, kneels, begs. BUT further outbursts of rage become more frequent, and apologies are uttered less and less. Scandals themselves with or without become a habit, and not a single day can do without them. Even a banal slap in the face can turn into a brutal beating.

Such a person does not listen to anyone's words, he will not understand how skirmishes with his wife may end for him. Aggression overshadows the mind, and here there is a real addiction. According to experts, this "pit bull" falls into dependence on the woman he beats. At the same time, he does not show a sense of guilt, but, on the contrary, suppresses it with the help of new fits of rage and new beatings.

"Cobra"
By and large, this type of sadist is all potential patients of psychiatric cynics. Such "sadists" even they themselves cannot explain for what reason there was an outbreak of aggression. Actually, the reasons are not important here. It is pointless to look for logic in the behavior of such people. Anger becomes all-consuming, and the hand of such a person will rise on a pregnant wife and even on his own child. A woman in such a situation is the most difficult. Since she cannot predict the behavior of this type of male tyrant, it is impossible to predict the moment of attack.

What to do if a husband hit his wife for the first time?

The first shock for a woman in such a situation does not always pass quickly. The beloved man raised his hand to the woman whom he carried in his arms yesterday and called his beloved. The most important thing to do is to calm down. Time in such a situation is the best assistant. Moreover, both the wife and the husband will need time. Both need to understand what exactly happened. Perhaps such an outbreak will never happen again. Then the man will certainly realize the horror of what happened and come running to apologize.

A woman should be patient and analyze the situation. The main thing is to try to find out whether such situations happened in the husband's family, with his parents. If fights were the norm there, then this model is also for the spouse "normal" and acceptable. Hoping for a one-time outburst of anger in this case is not worth it. The situation will repeat itself over and over again, no matter how sincere the husband's apologetic words may seem.

If there were no such scenes in the husband’s family and as a child he did not observe pictures of severe beatings day after day, it is quite possible that his breakdown is an accident. But forgiveness in such a situation is possible only under a clear condition: repetition is tantamount to divorce.

Stop a home tyrant ... is it possible?

A husband beats and insults his wife - well, who will you surprise with this today? Many believe that this situation develops in every family. But it's not right. What's wrong with getting your wife slapped for salty soup? But such relationships in marriage can hardly be called ideal.

In general, it is worth immediately indicating our position: a man who hit a woman once is unlikely to stop there and limit himself to one slap in the face. If a woman finds herself in a situation where the husband hit his wife more than once, but does it with enviable regularity and cruelty, you need to look for a way out. We need to find a way to stop the tyrant.

Unfortunately, in Russia there is no special service that could help a woman who has experienced domestic violence. There are, of course, the police ambulance. But you can count on them only with visible consequences, serious injuries. There is also psychological help by phone, which, alas, cannot help with anything other than advice.

A woman will have to rely only on herself. Even pregnant women, as we remember, cannot feel completely protected. Therefore, it is necessary to develop a line of conduct.

1. Heart-to-heart conversations are the beginning of the path to ending assault at home. If the spouses manage to agree, go together to a specialist, then maybe their situation is not so hopeless. Only a competent specialist will help to understand what exactly caused an outburst of anger and led to beatings, even if they were minor. Only a specialist can help a man get out of this pit of rage and unfulfillment. After all, we remember what kind of men raise their hands against a woman - losers! If the option with the psychologist does not suit the husband, it is hardly worth trying to maintain such a relationship. They definitely won't change. Never.

2. From the first day of life together, a woman must accustom her husband and herself, first of all, to the fact that she is an inviolable person. Under no circumstances should she be subjected to violence. Whatever happens, everything can be solved with words.

3. A woman must, no, must respect herself. Then there will be fewer problems.

4. If the husband hit his wife for the first time, decisive action from the woman should immediately follow. Hysterics have no place here. The woman should calmly pack her things and leave. To a friend, to a neighbor, to my mother in Saratov, anywhere, even to a hotel. The main thing is to let the man understand that such a relationship is categorically not satisfied with her.

5. What to do if the husband beats and insults regularly? Do words have no effect? There is only one answer to this question: you need to leave such a husband, not for a day or a week, but forever. It is difficult to decide on such a step, especially if feelings still remain. But this must be done at least out of a sense of self-preservation.

We declare war on the tyrant

Classic Hollywood movies - what better way to fight male tyrants? Husband beats and insults? Try to do what the character Jennifer Lopez did in the movie "I'm over it". It would seem quite happy life, beloved husband, wonderful daughter. But happiness collapses overnight, as soon as the husband shows his true face. He is not only unfaithful to his beautiful wife, he is also aggressive towards her and towards the child.

At one fine moment, the woman's patience comes to an end, and she decides to take a desperate step - she runs away from home with her daughter. The solution is simple: no one else is allowed to hurt me and my daughter. Further - revenge and only revenge. A weak woman is unlikely to be able to defeat an adult man. So you need to train the body and fighting spirit.

And here is the result - evil is punished, and with the same coin. A woman can make a man feel like a defenseless victim of a domestic tyrant, driving his victim into a corner.

Much easier, shedding tears, complain to friends and mom: "my husband beat me". But what can a woman herself do to avoid being beaten? Where is her pride, strength and courage? Where is the character, after all? It depends on the woman whether she will endure such a situation or decide to change everything! Unfortunately, this is exactly what women forget.

Hiding is a good defense.

overcome strong man in an open confrontation is not easy, especially if the opponent is three times heavier and stronger. But it's still worth a try. Especially if the house in which the skirmishes take place is the only housing and there is nowhere else to go. Protecting your own life and the lives of children must come to the fore. And in any way no pity for myself, and even more so for my husband.
It is impossible to change a man who raised his hand against a woman. Such a villain will most likely stop at nothing, even his wife's pregnancy is unlikely to sober him up. So the woman will have to fight for her own life and for the life of the child.

What to do to make a man understand: "It won't continue like this"!

Self defense courses- an excellent tool for relieving stress, as well as for mastering the necessary skills. It is quite possible that once putting them into practice, a woman will be able to permanently stop beating her husband.

The provocations of the husband must be learned to be ignored. It helps. For starters, it’s a good idea to just leave the house for the duration of your husband’s outbreaks, and with your children, for example, for a walk. With all her appearance, a woman should radiate self-confidence and calmness. Her husband's attacks on her should not touch her.

If it is not possible to leave the house, it would be good to put locks on the door of one of the rooms. Shelter inside the house is also a good way to hide from a tyrant. The main condition is to always have a mobile phone with you. Often, it was mobile communications that saved women's lives.

Living in the same apartment with a tyrant is not worth it. It is best to find work and rented housing. If there are no children, this will not be difficult. If you can’t immediately rent an apartment, you can ask for help from friends or relatives. It is important to remember that being in the same apartment with an aggressive man is dangerous!

Being with an aggressor husband under the same roof, you should follow a few simple but effective rules.

If quarrels continue with enviable regularity, observe the simplest technique security. In no case should you run into the kitchen or the bathroom when a quarrel has begun. Any closed room where there is furniture with sharp corners, heavy or sharp objects is certain death.

Temporary shelter must be prepared in advance. This is an escape route that should always be available. It doesn’t matter what it will be, a friend’s apartment or a crisis center, the main thing is that you can come there at any time of the day or night.

Sitting quietly in a corner and waiting until it comes to assault is not worth it. Call the police as soon as an argument starts. At the same time, it is important to let the police know that you are in real danger. Shout into the phone, scream. Law enforcement agencies are obliged to come to the call and explain to the man that he is wrong in offending his wife or children.

After a fight, be sure to call an ambulance. Doctors must record the beatings, check for bruises and abrasions, make sure there are no more serious injuries. And at the same time check on the sanity of the spouse. It is possible that he can immediately be taken to psychoneurology.

All the most valuable and necessary should be at hand. If a woman has to leave home for a while and even more so forever. A bag with the essentials should be ready. Money, documents, spare things, jewelry. You should not scatter gifts from your husband in such a situation. They are your compensation for physical and moral damage.

The psyche of a woman inevitably suffers from domestic scandals, and even more so from beatings. The help of a psychologist in such a situation will not be superfluous.

Don't forget that your life is the most valuable thing you have. And you are responsible for this life. No one will protect a woman better than herself. Take care of yourself, do not endanger your life and the lives of your children, remaining to live under the same roof with a tyrant and a monster. Remember that no one, even the strongest woman, will be able to deal with such a difficult situation as domestic violence without specialists.

Domestic violence is much more common than people think. Contrary to the common stereotype that the husband's aggression is caused by the wife's inappropriate behavior, psychologists, in response to the question of why the husband beats his wife, argue that the reason is in itself. The behavior of the wife does not affect the situation, since the decision to cause physical harm is made by the attacker, not the victim. Therefore, a woman needs to know the signs of the behavior of a domestic tyrant in order to avoid danger.

How to behave to a wife if her husband is prone to aggressive behavior

A feature of the manifestation of violence on the part of the husband is cyclicity. At the beginning of a relationship, a tyrant man does not show aggression. He tries to lull the attention of the chosen victim, behaves kindly, revealingly caring. The woman relaxes, begins to trust him. Gradually, the man begins to show his essence. Rare nitpicking, and small quarrels, but with each pressure grows.

A man, feeling that he managed to create an emotional connection, starts a psychological game: humiliates, insults, makes him doubt himself. Having received the expected reaction in the form of confusion and an attempt to please, the man changes his line of behavior, becoming caring and understanding again.

A man tries to restrict a woman's freedom, forcing her to give up work, communication with friends and any other manifestations of independence. After marriage, he may forbid leaving the house, citing concern for the safety of the spouse. The cycle of behavior "tyrant - caring husband" is constantly changing, making the wife believe that she does not meet the expectations of her husband and deserves such treatment. At first, aggression can be expressed only in verbal form, but it necessarily goes into the stage of physical violence.

The behavior of the wife depends on the degree of development of the relationship. If the marriage is recently registered and the wife has the opportunity to seek help from a professional psychologist, this should be done immediately. Perhaps the marriage can be saved, and the man will agree to undergo therapy. In case of refusal of the spouse, it is necessary to forget about attempts at reconciliation and take care of your own safety. To save yourself from an aggressive spouse, you need to prepare escape routes:

1. Find housing that the spouse does not know about.
2. Seek help from loyal relatives, friends, a special help center for victims of domestic violence.
3. Collect documents, hide them so that at any time you can get them and leave the house.
4. All available money and jewelry should be taken with you immediately.
5. If you have children, prepare them for the fact that they will soon have to move, warn them that you can’t talk about the impending escape.

After the woman is in safe territory, you should prepare for further actions: divorce, litigation, relocation. Probably, in order to cope with the situation, she will need the help of a psychologist, a lawyer, and possibly contacting the police. Physical abuse is a crime and should be dealt with accordingly.

Causes of husband's aggression

The reason for the manifestation of physical aggression on the part of the husband are various psychological and social factors that encourage and encourage destructive behavior. These include:

• unfavorable situation in the family in which the man grew up, aggression of the father towards the mother;
• lack of mother's love in childhood, lack of female attention at a conscious age;
• a tendency to sadism;
• problems with discipline, poor academic performance;
• low level of social responsibility;
• traumatic brain injury;
• low level of empathy.

Not all men who grew up in adverse conditions are prone to violence. Self-control helps to restrain unmotivated aggression, to behave adequately. But if a man does not try to control his behavior, he becomes socially dangerous.

Types of men prone to violence

Men with psychopathic and sociopathic personality traits tend to show aggression. A male psychopath is deprived of an adequate perception of reality. He does not perceive other people as living people, they are a means of satisfying his desires. A man seeks to offend, anger, evoke any negative emotions of people in order to receive emotional nourishment from them. He is not able to receive the necessary emotions in normal ways, because in his picture of the world there is no place for attachment, trust, respect. Often the cause of psychopathy is a birth trauma, a hereditary psychological disease, and disorders in the development of the brain.

The reason for the aggression of a sociopath is a lack of education. A man does not receive the necessary skills to interact with people. Growing up, a sociopath is not able to build a normal relationship with a woman without perceiving her as an equal partner.

Alcoholism and violence

Alcohol can dramatically change a man, allowing an aggressive man to behave inappropriately. The majority of domestic crimes occur on the soil. Under the influence of alcohol, a husband can not only insult, beat his wife, but also cause serious injuries and even kill. An intoxicated husband cannot control his actions, does not think about the consequences.

In most cases, the husband refuses to seek medical help and turns into a chronic alcoholic. It becomes unpredictable and dangerous not only for the wife, but also for the children. They are forced to observe the behavior of a mentally unstable father, they can adopt his behavior, inherit aggressiveness. In addition, children may suffer from the aggression of the father.

Spouse's jealousy

Men call jealousy the main reason for aggressive emotional breakdowns. To a certain extent, jealousy is inherent in all people, but a mentally healthy adequate man can cope with jealousy, correct his behavior without transferring aggression to his partner.

An insecure, paranoid and pathologically jealous husband will look for signs of infidelity, even when there is no real reason. He does not need a real reason, he is guided by a distorted idea of married life. Physical abuse is a way for a jealous person to mark their territory. A husband can beat, intimidate his wife, letting others know that his wife is his property, and it is better for potential lovers to stay away.

Features of the psychology of the aggressor

In the representation of pathological aggressive man his actions are an adequate reaction caused by the wrong behavior of his wife. For normal mental well-being, he needs, with the help of which he relieves emotional stress.

A woman is not chosen by chance: a man chooses a wife who will be dependent on him. An insecure woman who needs patronage, prone to self-accusation, is ideal.

It doesn't matter if the victim is being protected or not. The husband perceives retaliatory aggression as the legalization of his own aggression. If the wife does not respond to attacks, accepting the role of the victim, the husband convinces himself that this state of affairs is normal. A man is afraid of losing his wife, he is attached to the victim, he needs her. Therefore, after the beating, the husband always apologizes, promises to improve. Manipulates his wife's feelings, making her believe that this breakdown was the last.

Features of the psychology of the victim

In psychology, victim (sacrificial) behavior is a special behavioral strategy characteristic of weak dependent people. Victim women behave infantilely afraid to take responsibility, make important decisions, take an active life position.

A variety of factors lead to the formation of victim behavior in girls. These include:

• physical abuse by parents;
• school bullying, insults;
• physical, mental illness;
• authoritarian father, forcing to adhere to a victim line of behavior;
• physical or sexual abuse by a guy.

The manifestation of victim traits in a woman attracts a man prone to sadistic behavior to her. Realizing that the victim will not resist, the man uses her insecurity and low self-esteem to selfishly satisfy his inadequate needs.

How to Avoid Domestic Violence

Realizing the peculiarities of the psychology of beatings in the family, the husband and wife can try to correct the situation if they really value their relationship. If a guy realizes that his behavior is inadequate, he should consult a psychologist and undergo a course of therapy aimed at developing internal self-control.

The wife of a tyrant husband also needs psychological help. The advice of a specialist will help her build the necessary psychological boundaries and restore peace of mind. But if a man refuses to apply for psychological help, the only way to avoid domestic violence is to separate. You can not succumb to persuasion and believe the promises to improve. The tendency to aggression cannot disappear, the inadequacy only increases. And if at first the husband allows himself only light pushes and slaps, soon they will turn into full-fledged beatings. The longer the wife tolerates aggression, the more difficult it is to get out of these relationships, start new ones.

Useful video

How can a woman understand that a tyrant is next to her and how to act with him? A specialist psychologist will tell about all this in a short video clip:

Aggression in family relationships is a common occurrence not only in Russia, but also in Western countries. The statistics of domestic violence is very alarming: according to studies, every hour in our country one woman dies from male aggression. The reasons for the aggressive behavior of a man can be complexes, alcohol. However, most victims of domestic violence continue to live with a domestic tyrant in the hope of re-educating him.

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Causes of aggression

When a person takes out anger and accumulated negativity on a weaker one, this indicates serious problems. At least - about the impossibility of correctly splashing out negative emotions, the maximum - about a mental disorder.

The main reasons why a man repeatedly raises his hand to a woman:

• Childhood spent in an aggressive environment. Often a guy or a man acting as a "kitchen fighter" himself in childhood became a victim of aggression from his father or mother, or saw such a relationship between his parents. Therefore, he perceives the physical impact on a person as the only proper punishment. Anything can be a reason for assault: a broken plate, a tasteless dinner, jealousy, a bad mood. So a man demonstrates his dominance and at the same time "teaches" his wife how to live correctly.
• Alcohol, drugs. A person who is in an inadequate state can raise a hand against a woman. In such cases, when a man comes to his senses, he sincerely asks for forgiveness, repents, assures that he loves immensely. After a while, the whole situation repeats itself over and over again.
• Complexes, self-doubt. A man who does not know how to prove his dominance in a social environment, who experiences humiliation from others (work, friends), sometimes becomes a real domestic tyrant. From the outside, this person gives the impression of being soft and gentle. The mask of a respectable citizen breaks down in the family, and loved ones suffer from his rage and dissatisfaction in life.
• Sadism. This is a mental deviation, and in such situations, the sadist will not even need a formal reason for "shaking". Such a man justifies himself by the fact that the woman herself forced him to raise his hand. A sadist will punish a woman with a fist, a belt, a telephone wire - and to do this with enviable regularity.

Many outsiders believe that the victim is the cause of the violence. She allegedly gives him a reason for aggression: humiliates, insults, behaves inappropriately with other men. Psychology claims that this is not so: the same jealousy or words of insult can lead a man to an emotional breakdown, but if in a fit of uncontrollable rage he hit a woman at least once, you should not justify such an act and leave it unpunished.

female reaction

In no case should you let the situation take its course and forgive even a single blow. And it doesn't matter if a man hits a woman lightly in the face or hard in the ass. If he did this as a punishment or as a result of a breakdown, this is an occasion to think about further relationships.

Women who once "taught a lesson" often justify the despot, blaming themselves or an unfortunate set of circumstances. They forgive the man and do not understand that they are giving the green light to the release of his future aggression.

The situation in which a man hit a woman and was immediately forgiven can be repeated many times.

A woman who does not radically try to solve the situation with assault dooms herself to an unenviable fate. If the "kitchen fighter" is heated by alcohol, her life is in real danger. In such situations, it is always worth remembering that at any moment the family tyrant will switch to other pets - animals, children, elderly parents. Justifying the man who beats her, the lady dooms her loved ones to suffering, primarily children. Even if a negligent husband does not touch them with a finger, a childhood spent in an atmosphere of aggression will leave a negative imprint on their future life.

Reasons why a woman forgives a man who hits her:

• Beat means love. One of the most false popular assertions. No amount of love will justify the physical impact on a loved one.
• material dependency. The victim does not part with the aggressive spouse or cohabitant and forgives him due to lack of money and his own home. She has nowhere to go.
• "I will re-educate him." A dangerous delusion that threatens to lead to a real tragedy. Women bind themselves by joint bonds with a man who has previously "proven" himself on the aggressive side, in the hope that it is with them that he will be different: good and kind. In 99 cases out of 100, the miraculous transformation of a "monster" into a person does not occur.
• Pity for the beloved man. One of the most common female self-deceptions, threatening to turn into chronic masochism. The victim, having received in full, begins to feel sorry for his tormentor, accusing himself of provocations. The more often such situations arise, the more the most affected woman needs psychological help.