Almost all of us are dissatisfied with ourselves in some way. There are a lot of reasons - starting with bad habits and ending with appearance. Let's talk about the most intrusive and difficult to fix - short stature. He prevents girls from making a career, adds self-doubt to young people. Is there nothing that can be done? Don't despair, there is always a way. Believe me, your height in centimeters matters only for the military registration and enlistment office, peaceful life flows according to completely different laws, sometimes even more stringent than those of the military.
Decide on the motivation, because for different purposes there are different ways problem solving.
How to increase height?
If you're an athlete and you're just a few inches short of making the basketball team, then a special exercise program will help you. The only good advice I can give is: don't listen to good advice. In order to choose an individual system of exercises to solve the problem of short stature, you need to contact a professional trainer, not forgetting to consult a doctor. Self-treatment has never done anyone any good. For example, everyone knows that you can drink calcium gluconate to stimulate growth during puberty. But only those who are not too lazy to consult a doctor know that silicon should be taken with them. Dosage and proportions are calculated based on the weight of the athlete and his daily loads.
Girls, if you want to try yourself in the image of a fashion model, be extremely careful in choosing a coach. In solving the problem of short stature, the coach-athlete is not the best assistant. The fact is that stretching exercises for athletes are in most cases dangerous for a fragile girl with a narrow bone. Look for a trainer in fitness rooms or beauty salons, and don't forget a good massage therapist.
Small men
The greatest difficulties begin when a person begins to look for an explanation for his unfinished life in his physical characteristics, and in particular, in his small stature.
Male grief: I'm short, girls don't like me. Complexes begin to develop, a person becomes unsure of himself, and, as a result, the girls really do not notice him. This is the chain of cause and effect. Please remember your 5th-6th-7th grades. This is exactly the period when all the girls are taller than all the boys in the class. And who got the most female attention? That's right, the smallest and fastest. And it doesn’t matter if he remains short, or grows to basketball height, he will still remain everyone’s favorite right up to High school prom.
It's not about external data, but about self-awareness and the ability to present yourself correctly. A woman evaluates a man according to several criteria, and in addition to external data, what matters is how you look at her, how you behave. The secret of the womanizer is precisely that he does not seem to be such. A sincere smile and a loving look do their job, even if the girl you like is noticeably taller than you. Think Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. The brightest couple in Hollywood, who lived together for about 10 years, was distinguished by the fact that Nicole was 10 centimeters taller than her husband, and with heels for all 20.
The secret of male charm is 100% self-confidence. It doesn't matter where it appears. If you hesitate and get lost in front of a girl, but she sees your professional achievements and respects you as a specialist, or if she sees the respect of your friends for you, you are on the right track.
Small women
Women's grief here is somewhat less. Girls (women) of small stature are loved by most men. But even here there was a catch: it seems to a short girl that she is not taken seriously. It is quite possible, but growth is secondary here. Again, the chain is repeated: because of the short stature, the woman begins to complex, is embarrassed to express her opinion, others think that she does not have her own opinion. If a man does not take you seriously, it is not at all a fact that he will take a girlfriend of more impressive dimensions. If a man lives according to the principle “all women are fools”, the growth of his wife does not affect anything. Think 10 times before committing your life to such a person.
A small stature will help a girl to emphasize her most important advantage - fragility and femininity. Even if you have chosen a unisex style, most men will still perceive you as an object for care and protection.
The root of the problem of short stature
In order to understand how relations between a man and a woman are built, you need to remember under what circumstances they actually originated. A woman is the keeper of the hearth, an object of care and protection, a source of pride. The man is a protector and a hunter. In modern society, the scheme takes on much more intricate forms, but can be traced in any relationship. Accordingly, if a man puts himself in the place of a leader by his behavior, a woman will look at him with admiration, “from the bottom up”, even if he is lower than her. And vice versa: if a woman emphasizes her feminine essence in every possible way, the chosen one will look at her a little patronizingly, even if she is taller, and listen, even if she is lower, because she considers her own.
Is small growth really bad in business?
There are many examples when people of small stature achieved significant success in business, became directors of large companies. Children's complexes play an important role here. The desire to assert oneself makes a person work hard and hard, which, of course, brings its results. Accordingly, if you feel that you are not taken seriously because of your small stature, prove your superiority in a completely different area. After all, a professional is not valued for his external data.
But we must not forget about appearance: if a person is naturally athletic, then he can afford a casual style. If you want to upstage your small stature, you should always look perfect. Avoid a sudden change in clothing style - this will make others once again evaluate you visually.
There are several more psychological tricks that will help you hide your small height during conferences, presentations, negotiations, etc.
Dress in a neutral suit, add a couple of distracting details: cufflinks, an interesting tie. Thus, the opponent will cast a glance at you, and will continue to look at these details.
When negotiating, pay your opponent's attention to your face. That is, in his mind, the essence of the conversation (deal), set out in the documents lying on the table, should be visually connected with your face. To do this, during a conversation, touch your temple with your hand, or adjust your glasses. Your facial expressions are also important: sometimes eyebrow movements are remembered for a very long time, and help to imitate emotions better than gestures and expressions.
Do not stand next to your taller colleagues, or objects comparable to human height: with hangers, with palm trees in tubs. You can get up and walk around the office to give weight to your speech, if circumstances permit. Use this technique unexpectedly but calmly when your listeners are seated. This will create the effect of a teacher in the classroom.
If you are speaking in front of a large audience, do not hold large objects in your hands: a folder, a globe, a laptop.
There are many more examples when small growth under certain circumstances becomes simply invisible to others. For example, a short teacher who asked students to place posters on the board may sit down at the table for a while. Obviously, even if the students are taller than the teacher, no one compares a seated person with a standing one.
And, most importantly, never forget about self-confidence and self-esteem. After all great person and a tall person are completely different things.
In search engines there are many answers to the question of what is the “Napoleon complex”. Basically, historical data is provided related to short people who have reached the top in politics, sports or on the stage.
However, this question is revealed more from the historical side than from human psychology. Napoleon syndrome is a personality defect that prevents a person from enjoying life.
More often, this quality is inherent in men, and it begins with childhood. Then, when at school or other educational institutions the guy suffers ridicule and loses faith in himself. In every school class there was a little boy who was teased.
Example:
Girls choose strong and handsome candidates for gentlemen, and it is more difficult for a small and frail guy to create a relationship.
Having accumulated in himself severe pain and streaks of failures, the "Napoleonic" makes a promise to himself to grow, to become the best and achieve maximum heights in life, which he strives for in the future.
Wanting to stand out in all situations, he studies diligently, fulfills the assigned instructions of his superiors, but his soul is full of revenge and awaits the hour of reckoning. Such people strive to have a car and housing, a lot of money and a high position in society.
Having received the position of chief, their hidden resentment breaks out. Now they prove to others and subordinates their height and advantage. Consequently, these people humiliate others and try to subjugate others for self-satisfaction.
Now consider the Napoleonic complex in women. On the one hand, being small is good: a neat figure, you can wear high heels. Short stature gives a person mobility and dexterity. It is welcome in some sports. But for some reason, more and more short girls tend to be taller. Growth is a major challenge for some of us.
If men behave aggressively with this syndrome, girls hold back emotions in themselves. They are less amenable to frustration and emphasize invented flaws only with high shoes.
The fact that the lady will set a goal for herself and begin to strive for it is not excluded. Yes, it's even good. A person who wants to make a career, gain status in society and be independent becomes a source of envy for other ladies, which will help the sufferer regain her missing confidence.
Having proved her importance and supremacy, a woman will find peace and get rid of mental trauma.
The Napoleon complex in popular psychology makes the following recommendations to those who are ridiculed:
Psychologists advise you to make a list for yourself. Divide a piece of paper into 2 columns. In one column, write a description for tall people. On the other half for myself. To increase confidence, take as an example your friend or acquaintance who is taller than you. Describe the pros and cons of both of you. Every person deep down loves himself, so your cup of pluses will outweigh your opponent's cup.
The Napoleon complex and the origins of its formation. Myths about people with small stature, their debunking and methods of dealing with the problem.
The content of the article:
The Napoleon complex (shorty syndrome) is a combination of psychological problems that occur in short people. With great ambitions, some lowly persons dream of at least conquering the whole world in order to assert themselves in their own eyes. In an effort to get rid of their imaginary inferiority, they can eventually turn into aggressive subjects.
In psychology, the Napoleon complex was first voiced by the Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler. However, a well-known specialist, basing his research on the biography of the emperor, did not take into account one fact. In fact, the growth of the commander was 165-169 cm (according to various sources) and in those days was not considered small. Bonaparte looked short only when there were high marshals and impressive officers of the guards army nearby.
The teachings of Alfred Adler were then refuted because a number of studies did not show a direct relationship between aggressiveness and short stature. Not all people with such parameters have inadequate behavior and a desire for absolute power. At the same time, the term itself remained in psychological practice, because the described stereotype became popular among the population.
Note! All the described symptoms demonstrate a portrait of a vulnerable, suspicious and rather vindictive person. When communicating with him, it is necessary to observe maximum correctness and caution in actions.
In some cases, a person is ready to wind himself up to the limit. Many people are dissatisfied with their appearance, creating false canons of beauty in their minds.
How would you describe the concept of the Napoleon complex? Despite the serious faces of the adherents of the theory of its existence, the true definition in the dictionary would look like this: “A fashionable phrase with which amateur psychologists explain the desire of undersized people to achieve career heights and self-improvement, as well as a tendency to aggression, tyranny and authority.” For many, the Napoleon complex is an explanation for all the problems and at the same time all the achievements of low people. But does the Napoleon complex really exist?
In the minds of the majority, an unjustified image of an evil dwarf, ready to bite the legs of tall people, humiliate women and destroy nations just because they are taller than him, has settled. At the same time, Lenin (164 cm), Stalin (162 cm), Tamerlane (145 cm) are mentioned - really short men who left not the best mark in history. But what can you say about the causes of despotism in the character of Osama bin Laden (194 cm) or Saddam Hussein (188 cm)? Why didn’t he become a tyrant, but went on a completely opposite path, the preacher of peace and love, Mahatma Gandhi, who was only 164 centimeters tall? And let's remember the great actors who brought so much goodness and laughter to the world - Charlie Chaplin (165 cm), Jammel Debbuz (165 cm), Louis de Funes (164 cm). What kind of tyrants are they? Something doesn't add up...
Are short men aggressive?
No and no again. An experiment was conducted at the University of Central Lancashire aimed at identifying aggression in short men. During the experiment, the participants were divided into pairs, they were given chopsticks in their hands and asked to "fence" them, ostensibly to determine dexterity and reaction. In reality, one of the partners was asked during the duel to specially hit the fingers of the second participant.
A more aggressive reaction was noted in tall men, while short ones reacted more restrained.
It follows from this that the "Napoleon complex" not only does not exist, but also discriminates against small people, accusing them of increased aggression, despotism and the desire for self-affirmation at the expense of others, which they do not actually possess.
Was Napoleon short?
The joke is that even the very name of the complex is untenable. Napoleon was not short. Some sources indicate the very tiny growth of the great commander - 151 centimeters. But if you carefully read the literature, you will find that the numbers are different everywhere, and that with the growth of the emperor there was a lot of confusion. When His Majesty reposed, they measured him and recorded his height: 5 feet and 2 inches. Yes, they just forgot to indicate that feet and inches are French, and they are shorter than English. So they translated French feet for some time according to English standards, until they realized that since the emperor lived in France, they measured him accordingly. When the error was corrected, it turned out that Napoleon's height was 5 feet and 6.5 English inches, that is, 169 centimeters. During the reign of Napoleon, that is, in the early 1800s, the average height of a man was 164 centimeters. It turns out that Bonaparte was even higher than many Frenchmen.
Researchers believe that the myth about the short stature of the commander appeared due to the fact that in the paintings he is depicted surrounded by the grenadiers of the imperial guard, who accepted hefty fellows with a height of at least 178 centimeters. For that time, they were real dyldy.
Therefore, speaking of psychological complexes associated with short stature, it is better to call them something else. And leave the long-suffering Napoleon alone.
Napoleon complex in women
... this is pure fiction. For most of the fair sex, small stature is rather a reason for pride, and not a reason for grief. If we talk about female complexes, then it is better to recall Peter the Great, who had a height of more than two meters. And all because the ideal of a woman for most of the history of mankind assumed diminutiveness, grace, fragility.
Mentioning the Napoleon complex in women, experts begin to list famous show business stars, such as Shakira (150 cm), Natalya Andreevna from Comedy Woman (152 cm) or Alla Pugacheva (162 cm). It turns out that they have achieved everything just because they did not come out tall? Okay, then where did the desire for fame come from in the rest of the higher famous personalities? What and to whom did Uma Thurman (184 cm), Nicole Kidman (180 cm) and Sigourney Weaver (183 cm) want to prove? Perhaps you should not associate such qualities as growth and determination, growth and ambition, growth and beauty ...
But short women do have career problems. Little ladies are often taken lightly, not perceived as equals - especially by men who look down on them in the literal and figurative sense. Little women have to prove again and again that they are no worse than their tall compatriots. But here we are not talking about the fact that a woman has achieved success due to miniature growth, but rather the opposite.
With representatives of the stronger sex, the same story. For every outstanding man short stature there are five no less outstanding high. People become successful not because they are short or tall, but because they dream, go to the goal and achieve their goal!
small complex
The Napoleon complex in psychology is called differently - a complex of small stature. It is expressed in a completely different way than it was imposed on us by half-educated psychologists, and is not the cause of a dictatorial character or a desire to achieve fame.
The small stature complex begins to manifest itself even in childhood - when the boy is the last on the line, when he is teased by classmates who have managed to stretch out, when he realizes that he cannot hit back at the same age, because he is bigger and stronger. The most interesting thing is that this complex takes root very deeply and makes itself felt even after the guy grows up, surpassing his peers. Yes, a man with a height of 185 centimeters may well suffer from a complex of small stature. Sometimes this problem can manifest itself in quite ordinary boys of average height, who feel that they are not tall enough.
What does a small stature complex lead to?
It provokes depression, unwillingness to communicate with people, a feeling of powerlessness and despair. It is difficult for people with such an attitude to adapt in life, it seems to them that they are not capable of anything, that a brilliant future does not shine for them.
The sad thing is that the complex of small stature in most cases is instilled by others. The coach says - where do you go in for sports, are you undersized? The girl arrogantly turns away in response to an invitation to go to the cinema. School bullies can easily catch a guy behind the garages and beat him up just because he's short. And how many poisonous witticisms do little people hear in their direction?
Each of them decides for himself which way to go - someone becomes a victim of the complex and remains a loser until the end of his life. Many become embittered, become aggressive, try to suppress tall people with the help of other resources - money and connections. But there are many who overcome the complex of small stature, treat their size with humor and do not lose heart in the face of the difficulties that they will have to fight for the rest of their lives. Little people every day will have to prove that they are smart enough, hardworking and responsible for their position. They will have to prove it much more often than tall colleagues with exactly the same personal qualities.
And here is the paradox. In most cases, it is not people with a complex of small stature who succeed, but people who have overcome it.
How to deal with the low growth complex?
I think society needs to fight it first of all. If people around didn’t scoff, didn’t say that it’s impossible to achieve anything with such growth, didn’t consider low people flawed from childhood, they would hardly suffer from this complex. Most of them are worried not because of the very fact of their short stature, but because of the attitude of others.
If each of us learns to restrain unflattering comments towards low men, teaches children to respect everyone, regardless of physical indicators, to put personal qualities first, and not beauty or height, we will get rid of not only the so-called "Napoleon complex" , but also from many others.
Those to whom nature has not measured enough height can only be advised not to pay attention to fools. After all, the value of a person lies not in growth, but in spiritual content - kindness, diligence, responsibility and many other qualities, the presence of which depends only on him.
In order to choose an individual system of exercises to solve the problem of short stature, you need to contact a professional trainer, not forgetting to consult a doctor. Self-treatment has never done anyone any good. For example, everyone knows that you can drink calcium gluconate to stimulate growth during puberty. But only those who are not too lazy to consult a doctor know that silicon should be taken with them. Dosage and proportions are calculated based on the weight of the athlete and his daily loads.
Girls, if you want to try yourself in the image of a fashion model, be extremely careful in choosing a coach. In solving the problem of short stature, the coach-athlete is not the best assistant. The fact is that stretching exercises for athletes are in most cases dangerous for a fragile girl with a narrow bone. Look for a trainer in fitness rooms or beauty salons, and don't forget a good massage therapist.
Small men
The greatest difficulties begin when a person begins to look for an explanation for his unfinished life in his physical characteristics, and in particular, in his small stature.
Male grief: I'm short, girls don't like me. Complexes begin to develop, a person becomes unsure of himself, and, as a result, the girls really do not notice him. This is the chain of cause and effect. Please remember your 5th-6th-7th grades. This is exactly the period when all the girls are taller than all the boys in the class. And who got the most female attention? That's right, the smallest and fastest. And it doesn't matter if he remains short, or grows to a basketball height, he will still remain everyone's favorite right up to the prom.
It's not about external data, but about self-awareness and the ability to present yourself correctly. A woman evaluates a man according to several criteria, and in addition to external data, what matters is how you look at her, how you behave. The secret of the womanizer is precisely that he does not seem to be such. A sincere smile and a loving look do their job, even if the girl you like is noticeably taller than you. Think Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. The brightest couple in Hollywood, who lived together for about 10 years, was distinguished by the fact that Nicole was 10 centimeters taller than her husband, and with heels for all 20.
The secret of male charm is 100% self-confidence. It doesn't matter where it appears. If you hesitate and get lost in front of a girl, but she sees your professional achievements and respects you as a specialist, or if she sees the respect of your friends for you, you are on the right track.
Small women
Women's grief here is somewhat less. Girls (women) of small stature are loved by most men. But even here there was a catch: it seems to a short girl that she is not taken seriously. It is quite possible, but growth is secondary here. Again, the chain is repeated: because of the short stature, the woman begins to complex, is embarrassed to express her opinion, others think that she does not have her own opinion. If a man does not take you seriously, it is not at all a fact that he will take a girlfriend of more impressive dimensions. If a man lives according to the principle “all women are fools”, the growth of the wife does not affect anything. Think 10 times before committing your life to such a person.
A small stature will help a girl to emphasize her most important advantage - fragility and femininity. Even if you have chosen a unisex style, most men will still perceive you as an object for care and protection.
The root of the problem of short stature
In order to understand how relations between a man and a woman are built, you need to remember under what circumstances they actually originated. A woman is the keeper of the hearth, an object of care and protection, a source of pride. A man is a protector and a hunter. In modern society, the scheme takes on much more intricate forms, but can be traced in any relationship. Accordingly, if a man puts himself in the place of a leader by his behavior, a woman will look at him with admiration, “from the bottom up”, even if he is lower than her. And vice versa: if a woman emphasizes her feminine essence in every possible way, the chosen one will look at her a little patronizingly, even if she is taller, and listen, even if she is lower, because she considers her own.
Is small growth really bad in business?
There are many examples when people of small stature achieved significant success in business, became directors of large companies. Children's complexes play an important role here. The desire to assert oneself makes a person work hard and hard, which, of course, brings its results. Accordingly, if you feel that you are not taken seriously because of your small stature, prove your superiority in a completely different area. After all, a professional is not valued for his external data.
But we must not forget about the appearance: if a person is naturally athletic, then he can afford a casual style. If you want to upstage your small stature, you should always look perfect. Avoid abrupt changes in clothing style - this will make others once again evaluate you visually.
There are several more psychological tricks that will help you hide your small height during conferences, presentations, negotiations, etc.
Dress in a neutral suit, add a couple of distracting details: cufflinks, an interesting tie. Thus, the opponent will cast a glance at you, and will continue to look at these details.
When negotiating, pay your opponent's attention to your face. That is, in his mind, the essence of the conversation (deal), set out in the documents lying on the table, should be visually connected with your face. To do this, during a conversation, touch your temple with your hand, or adjust your glasses. Your facial expressions are also important: sometimes eyebrow movements are remembered for a very long time, and help to imitate emotions better than gestures and expressions.
Do not stand next to your taller colleagues, or objects comparable to human height: with hangers, with palm trees in tubs. You can get up and walk around the office to give weight to your speech, if circumstances permit. Use this technique unexpectedly but calmly when your listeners are seated. This will create the effect of a teacher in the classroom.
If you are speaking in front of a large audience, do not hold large objects in your hands: a folder, a globe, a laptop.
There are many more examples when small growth under certain circumstances becomes simply invisible to others. For example, a short teacher who asked students to place posters on the board may sit down at the table for a while. Obviously, even if the students are taller than the teacher, no one compares a seated person with a standing one.
And, most importantly, never forget about self-confidence and self-esteem. After all, a great man and a tall man are completely different things.