What do the boyfriend's parents ask when they meet. Acquaintance with the girl's parents: the most important nuances at the first meeting. Rules of conduct visiting the boyfriend's parents

Every relationship goes through several stages of development. At the initial level, there is a vanilla note with romantic evenings. A couple, like two sparrows, fly and coo next to each other. Over time, there comes a moment when the relationship moves to a more serious stage. Namely: it is necessary to inform the parents about the existence of the second half. This is where a thousand difficulties begin!

Some panis have been dating girls for years and are in no hurry to introduce them to their parents. There is reason to think here. Maybe your boyfriend's intentions for you are not the same as yours. But if you are still lucky, and an acquaintance is planned, then you are wrong in one of the following situations:

• The candy-bouquet period has passed and the relationship requires the next level. If you delay getting to know your parents, you can earn yourself a bad reputation. Speculation will clearly arise behind her back and questions will arise: “Why is she hiding?”.
• Relationships for both partners are valuable. If both the guy and the girl make plans for the future and plan at least a happy life together- acquaintance important detail. It is important to think about whether you yourself are ready to spend your whole life with this person? Will this acquaintance be meaningless? Talk to the guy about his plans for you.
• The guy himself suggested the idea to appear before the parental gaze of the future father-in-law and mother-in-law. If a young man is the initiator, then we can assume that this is a marriage proposal. A man will never introduce a girl into his house if he does not have serious intentions.

These three factors are the main reasons to make a visit to the home of your beloved. But you should not take this step if:

• you do not plan to live happily ever after with this person;
• you meet to satisfy your needs, but do not think that you can build your future with this person;
• in principle, you do not think about the future and are not going to start a family;
• you were the first to insist on getting to know your parents, pushing the guy to more serious relationship. You should not put pressure on men, they themselves know and feel when they should make the first acquaintance with their parents.

In these cases, getting to know the parents will be superfluous for both you and them. The worst outcome may be that you will feel sorry for his mother and only because of her you will spend your whole life with her son, with whom you have little in common.

How to Prepare for Meeting Your Boyfriend's Parents

Legitimate question. It is important to think about this beforehand. This gives a good advantage and increases the chances of a favorable outcome of such an event. And, as they say: "Forewarned is forearmed!". In a specific case, the weapon is knowledge and awareness. So what do you need to consider and how to set yourself up? Next Tips family psychologists will help you:

• stop being afraid. Excitement is common to everyone. But do not bring it to the point of absurdity. Such experiences threaten to pass into the category of nightmares, and at the meeting there will be not a sweet miss, but a nervous and twitchy hysteria.
• Collection of information. Do not be too lazy to ask your boyfriend for important information about his parents: education, habits, interests, family structure, family tree history, etc. Such knowledge will allow you to compile psychological picture beloved mother and father. By the way, this will come in handy if you love cats, and his mother loves dogs. A cat lady and a dog lady can clash in a dispute “Which of the animals is better”, and this will play a bad joke when they first meet. Learn taboo topics - topics that are best left untouched. Plus, it's a great conversation starter. parents will appreciate your awareness and interest in their habits and pedigree.
• Tune in to positive emotions. You don't have to see everything in black. On the contrary, this is a new stage of relations. And there you look, and the wedding is just around the corner. Think of it as a prospect for a further happy continuation.
• Discard the stereotype "Mother-in-law is a monster". After all, how your relationship develops in the initial stages will depend on your whole future life. Will you talk nicely at a meeting or spit after each other, will your chosen one feel happy or constantly find between two fires. Be wiser, even if your mother-in-law lacks this wisdom. Your man will appreciate it!
• Your goal is mom. Most often, women are involved in raising children in the family. Therefore, it is important to arrange the mother to yourself. But this does not mean that the father should be ignored. Pay attention to all family members, but do it not feignedly, but sincerely. Show interest in parenting. People like to talk about what they are good at..

First of all, you need to think positively and not let your fear take over. Believe me, his parents are also going through an exciting moment, especially if this is the only son. You can be a little worried, but do not bring yourself to stress and panic.

They are greeted by clothes ...

Even in ancient times they said: Meet by clothes, and see off by mind". And indeed it is. The first thing that his relatives will do when they meet is to evaluate you visually.

Anya, manager

I remember as a mother-in-law, after the wedding, she told relatives about our first meeting with her. And no, she didn't say how nice I was, she said: “I remember the first time I saw her, so cute, in this red sports jacket. She was so good for her." My husband's family is athletic and our first meeting was before leaving for a hockey club match, where my husband's younger brother plays.

What to wear to lay a good foundation for dating from the first seconds?

• Conciseness. What does it mean? Clothing should not be vulgar, without aggressive colors (acid, gold, leopard colors, etc.).
• Neatness. No stains or greasy sleeves! Everything should be ironed and shine clean. You can create an aura of purity for yourself by using an unobtrusive light perfume.
• Speaking of perfume - no intoxicating smells! Only light and gentle notes. Save aggressively sweet and other flavors for another occasion.
• Shoes without huge heels, knocked down toes and scratched texture. No one will look at shoes under a microscope. And even if there is a small defect, you can correct it. For example, a scratched heel can be tinted ordinary varnish for nails.
• Clothes without deep necklines and mini. Your task is not to demonstrate all your charms, but to please your parents, so choose less revealing outfits. Hide tattoos and piercings, no need to shy parents from the threshold.
• Appropriateness of clothes. If his parents invited you to nature, then it is appropriate to wear the appropriate outfit (for example, sportswear), and not a cocktail dress, so that later you can fiddle and rush the guy to leave as soon as possible.

There is no need to go to extremes. You don't have to look like a gray mouse! See how royal lady Kate Middleton dresses. This is the epitome of elegance. But even here you need to keep a balance! By dressing primly, you can put his parents in an awkward position. Suddenly they expected to sit at home and talk heart to heart? And a girl dressed like a queen before going out will create a tense atmosphere.

What to give a guy's parents at the first meeting?

Everything is more or less clear here. And this item should not pose any particular problems if you follow the basic rules:

• You should not give expensive gifts to his parents at the first meeting. Forget about perfume and cognac. This may seem like bribery and coaxing, which will negatively affect the first impression.
• If there are younger children in the family, then it would be appropriate for them to bring sweet gift(candy, chocolate).
• No self-activity. Do-it-yourself dessert should not be presented either. Many girls, in a hurry to please his mother, bring their culinary masterpiece with them. This step is worth resorting to in one case - if the lady is an unsurpassed confectioner, and can make tiramisu with her eyes closed. In other cases, it is not necessary to take such a risk. First, you don't know all the taste preferences of his family yet. Secondly, there is a chance to cook tasteless, and this is already a minus in the piggy bank. A set of various cakes from a good pastry shop or a small cake is a great option.

Don't buy something you haven't tried yourself yet. After all, there is a chance to get into a mess.

Rush hour - how to behave with a guy's parents

And now, the cherished moment has come. You arrived on time. The cake was handed over, everyone was introduced to each other. Let's move on to the next step - creating the perfect image. How to behave with the guy's parents? To do this, we observe rule of three"NOT":

1. Not we interrupt;
2. Not we show our psychos;
3. Not turn up the nose.

You need to hide your cockroaches in your head far away. We try to show interest in the topic of conversation, even if we don’t like it. We don’t interrupt and we don’t interfere with our additions if mom or dad says something. We do not show arrogance, after all, not at the reception of the queen.

remember:

• You shouldn't focus on yourself . Ask your parents more about their hobbies or about your son.
• Be humble . If parents noticed positive changes in their son’s character after meeting you, there is no need to focus on this and boast that “yes, yes, we will fix a lot of things and teach your son a lot of things.”
• Do not arrange passionate hugs in front of your parents . Now is not the time to make out and kiss. Even if you feel uncomfortable among them, this is not a reason for such behavior.
• At the first meeting, you can ask them how they want you to address them. . If you have not done this, then it will always be correct to call them by their first name and patronymic. If it does not suit them, they themselves will later say how it will be better.
• If the first meeting took place on your territory - in the apartment where you live with a guy, then it would be right to prepare for their arrival . Bring the maximum order. Wash all corners and shelves. But don't forget the food. Ask the guy what his parents' food preferences are and cook the appropriate dishes.
• Don't talk nonstop . If you don't know what to say, it's best to keep quiet.

How to please a guy's parents

Any girl dreams that after meeting her, only pleasant impressions remain. How to please the guy's parents and win their sympathy? Let's start in order:

• Help. It's a good move to offer to help your boyfriend's mom set the table. If the table is set, then offer to help her clear the table after the dinner party is over. His mother will appreciate such an impulse, and a plus in the piggy bank is provided.

Catherine, actress

I remember how his mother told me later: “More than one Andrey’s girl hasn’t washed the dishes after dinner with us.” I was very pleased.

• Take care of the young man. It should be remembered that his mother evaluates you not only by appearance, but also by your ability to take care of her son. It’s enough just like that, supposedly between times, to offer him to try a salad or something else. In general, show your care and affection in every possible way.
• Measure in everything. With the manifestation of such maternal troubles, one should not reach fanaticism. And then from the side, the girl will look like a mother hen.
• Eat everything! Here it is worth forgetting about the diet, and about the diet and about its regimen. Do you know in advance that lunch will be hearty? Arrange a fasting day the day before, but try all the dishes on the table. You should not pile mountains of food on yourself, just try everything and a little bit. A good appetite among guests is the best praise for the hostess, in this case, the mother of the groom.
• Compliment her culinary skills. This can be done very in a simple way. Say that you haven’t eaten anything tastier than such and such a salad, and ask for the recipe. It is better to cooperate with the future mother-in-law than to be on the sidelines. different sides barricade. The main thing is to show interest, if you are polite and ask for the recipe, this does not mean that you will cook it every day at home.

What to do if they don't like you

After the meeting, ask the guy if everything went well. Perhaps you did something wrong, but being in a stressful state did not notice this and did not attach importance to it. If you made a fatal mistake, then at the next meeting, apologize for it. His mom will certainly appreciate it. Be sincere and say that you were worried before you met, because you wanted your relationship to be warm in the future, and not like in films where mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bite all the time.

If his parents raised such a wonderful man, then there is something good in them, try to find it.

Nastya, auditor

Our relationship with my mother-in-law never became good, and at our wedding, in protest, she put on black dress, and her toast was corresponding to the mourning dress, as if she was seeing her son off to war. All my relatives noticed it. I was so ashamed...

Pitfalls and what you need to know

Acquaintance with the parents of the groom is not a simple ritual. There are a number of points to consider:

1. Can be tested for lice. Sometimes his mom provokes you. Do not succumb to such a provocation, and find a compromise. Be wiser!
2. If the situation gets out of hand, try to turn everything into a joke or move the conversation to another topic. In general, if the situation is heating up, it is better to divert attention by telling some funny story.
3. Rudeness on the part of his parents is more rare than constant.. But if such outbreaks occur, do not ignite like a match. Of course, you should not let yourself be trampled into the mud, but you should not answer rudeness with rudeness either.
4. Try to create a good impression about yourself whenever possible.. Offered to see the family album? Don't refuse! This is a great chance to get close.
5. Never scold their son. Any insults directed at him are excluded. Whatever he is with you, you have already made a choice, and your relationship with him is only between you. It is unnecessary to dedicate parents to this, especially at the first meeting with them. Even if the parents themselves started the topic that their son is not so neat, let's say, one should not agree with them, even in such trifles.
6. Respect for elders. Do not forget that these are still more experienced people and much older than you, so do not switch to slang, be restrained and respectful of them.

It's not all that difficult if you keep common sense and reason. And so that the mind is always bright, you should not lean on alcoholic drinks at the table. Even if there is a strong excitement, it is better to eat it with a piece of meat than with a glass of wine.

Successful acquaintance with parents is the basis for a future marriage

The girl can feel the importance of this acquaintance the very next day. If his parents began to call for a visit, and the first acquaintance did not become the last, this is a guarantee for a happily developing relationship. In addition, after such an event, the same thing will happen, but in the opposite direction - the acquaintance of the guy with the girl's parents. It should take place after the lady herself was introduced to his family directly. Acquaintance from two sides allows us to say that the relationship has serious intentions. And the girl herself, based on the experience of meeting his parents, can make an ideal meeting of the groom with her loved ones.

How to please your parents? Secrets of successful dating.

In no case, do not refuse the meeting. For young man this can be very important. It is important that you get along and like each other. Tell him that his support is very important to you, because you don’t meet “moms” every day. Leave criticism and discussion of the shortcomings of your face or figure for another time. Doing this on the way to meet his mom is a bad idea.

Get ready.

Visit the beauty salon and get yourself in shape: get a new haircut, dye your hair, make a face mask or any other beauty treatment that will help you look your 100%!

Choose a strict but modern dress or suit. The main thing is that you feel comfortable in it, and you feel confident. Do not wear a lot of jewelry or costume jewelry - this is a bad form.

Ask your young man in advance what you can’t talk about with his mother or parents. Be natural in the meeting. Don't talk too much, don't just smile, and don't act like a nun. Communicate the way you communicate with your parents older sister. You should not use "youth slang" and all sorts of words that you use on Odnoklassniki or VKontakte.

If you go to visit a guy, you should not pounce on him with kisses when you meet. A light touch on the cheek will be enough. Suddenly his mother - strict rules?

Meeting.

Perhaps the most optimal scenario for the first meeting with the mother of a young man would be a conversation about your boyfriend's childhood. All mothers love to talk about the childhood of their sons and daughters. Show family albums or videos. You, too, can tell a little about your childhood and funny stories that happened to you. Tell us about your hobby or work, study.

All mothers are different. Due to their great love for their own son and the absolute certainty that no girl in the world deserves to be with her child, many of them arrange a real interrogation.

If your conversation takes an unpleasant turn for you, try changing the subject. In no case do not be rude and do not snap. This is, to say the least, indecent. Worst case scenario, your boyfriend's mom won't like you.

Be sure to compliment the young man's parents or mother about how cozy and cute it is in their house. Try to ask how to take care of plants or how to cook such a wonderful cake. If you have pets, you can ask about his breed, habits. In a word, try to translate the conversation into an interesting channel for the guy's mother. So you will show yourself as a sweet and intelligent girl.

Far-reaching plans.

The first meeting with the young man's family was left behind. You had a wonderful evening talking on a variety of topics, do you feel like you made a good impression? Well, now it's time to think about your plans for your boyfriend. If you really see you together for a long period of time, or even more, think about marriage, then you should continue to maintain a relationship with his mother.

Show her what you are good hostess and you can take care of her son. Give her the cake you baked with your hands. Or a knitted scarf. If you went to their dacha together, offer to help cook dinner or do the dishes.

Politeness is the chief weapon of kings, and so is yours. Always say "thank you", "good afternoon", "please pass". If they ask your opinion about the house, about the garden, pickles, sunset hands of mom, be sure to praise everything. However, it's not worth "sucking up" all the time. If you have a completely opposite opinion, express it, only carefully. Let the future mother-in-law know that you have your own way of looking at things.

Getting to know the parents of your chosen one is even more exciting than the first date. Any girl wants to make a good impression on her future relatives. Immediately there are a lot of questions, starting with what outfit to choose and ending with how to keep the conversation going. The answer to how to behave so that the acquaintance with your boyfriend's parents is successful can be found in the rules of etiquette.

What information to collect before the meeting?

In order not to make a mistake when choosing a gift or a topic for a conversation with the parents of a young person, you must first inquire about the preferences and hobbies of dad and mom. Find out from your chosen one as much information as possible about what his parents love, what they are fond of, how they prefer to spend their free time. Take an interest in what the father and mother do, who they work with. This will help you navigate when choosing a gift for his parents and keep the conversation going when you first meet.

What to wear to meet your boyfriend's parents

It is difficult to make a decent impression, feeling out of your element. Therefore, clothes for the first acquaintance should be, first of all, comfortable. No need to try to impress your parents with haute couture outfits, even if they are present in your wardrobe. Similar demonstration fashion trends will suggest that you are obsessed with your own appearance and a solid part of the budget is spent on clothes and accessories. It is doubtful that parents will consider this a positive quality for a future wife.

Things that you have already become accustomed to will be preferable to new clothes. When choosing what to wear to please your boyfriend's parents at the first meeting, give preference to classic styles. win-win will be a dress, a set of skirts and blouses, pantsuit. Sloppiness or negligence is unacceptable. Things do not have to be new, but it is necessary to clean and iron wardrobe items. Add modest makeup and neat hair to the look.

Getting to know your parents - how to behave

By agreeing to meet with the groom's parents, in fact, you accept the invitation to come. Do not forget that for future relatives, acquaintance with the chosen one of the son is also a significant event. Therefore, be natural, your shyness will be understood correctly. It is not customary to come into the house empty-handed. Be sure to buy something for the table. However, do not try to demonstrate your culinary talents at the first meeting by taking homemade salad or pie with you. It is better to bring sweets, fruits, good wine. First find out from your loved one what his parents prefer.

If the hostess is busy in the kitchen, setting the table, it would be appropriate to offer her your help. By doing this, you will demonstrate positive qualities for the future spouse and good upbringing. Do not insist if mom is sure that she can handle it herself, but at the end of the meal, help clean up or prepare the table for. Any housewife will only be glad if she is helped to collect or wash the dishes.

What to give parents at the first meeting

Giving gifts to the groom's parents is a long tradition. For example, according to Christian custom, the future daughter-in-law presented the mother of the chosen one with a beautiful shawl. Of course, today such an offering is unlikely to be properly understood. Therefore, when choosing parents, follow the recommendations of modern etiquette. Ask your chosen one to understand what is more suitable as a present. It is not customary to buy expensive gifts at the first meeting.

1. A married couple can be presented with paired gifts, such as tea or coffee cups with saucers, terry dressing gowns, bed linen.
2. The hostess will appreciate the textile accessories for the kitchen: napkins, tablecloths, towels.
3. If your parents love to spend time away from home, give them tickets to the premiere of a play or concert.
4. Culinary souvenirs remain a win-win option: an elite set of tea or coffee, chocolate self made, fruit basket.
5. If there are small children in the family, do not deprive them of attention. Take sweets with you or take care of buying a toy in advance.
6. Grandparents will also be pleased with the attention of the chosen one of the grandson. Therefore, if the whole big family, try not to deprive anyone of a surprise.

First impression

As Coco Chanel said, "Nobody gets a second chance to make a first impression." Psychologists assure that a person makes an opinion about other people in a few seconds, but sometimes it takes years to convince him that he was wrong.

It is unlikely that your boyfriend's parents will be happy that their child has finally made a choice. Most likely, they will evaluate you very meticulously. However, it is quite possible to make a good impression at the first meeting with parents. It is enough to behave with restraint, to remain cheerful and positive.

Rules of etiquette when meeting parents

Do not allow yourself to be late for a meeting, but it is also not worth coming to visit much earlier than the appointed time. The hosts need to prepare for the reception of guests. It is best to arrange in advance with your boyfriend to come together.

It is better to address parents and older family members by their first and middle names. Check this information with your chosen one in advance. Be polite, but not flattering.

Carry yourself with dignity, but not arrogance. This is quite enough to leave a good impression after meeting.

Communication rules

The groom's parents are ordinary people and when meeting with them, one should be guided general recommendations that gives etiquette.

1. Try to talk less, but do not remain silent, but keep the conversation going.
2. do not categorically refuse treats, referring to a diet or lack of appetite. The hostess spent a lot of time preparing the dishes and such behavior can hurt her.
3. If alcohol is on the table, you can drink some wine along with the others.

You should not openly demonstrate to parents:

• tender relationship in your couple;
• own non-standard preferences in food, clothing, lifestyle;
• intellectual superiority;
• material wealth.

Be prepared for your parents to take an interest in your life. You should not dump all the details on unfamiliar people, starting from childhood. Excessive frankness about the relationship of your parents is also inappropriate here. It is not known how this or that information will be regarded.

Parenting questions on first meeting

Since you are a new person for the family of your chosen one, be prepared for questions. As a rule, when they meet, they are asked by the mothers of young people. After all, women who have raised sons are not at all indifferent to who claims a place next to them. Frankly embellishing yourself or hiding obvious things is not worth it. Perhaps your fiancé has already told his parents a lot, and inconsistencies will be regarded negatively. If the topic is uncomfortable for you, gently move the conversation in another direction.

The main questions that parents ask when they meet are specialty and education. Even if you don’t have a diploma, and your current job doesn’t suit you at all, you shouldn’t report it with a doomed expression on your face. It is better to answer that you are temporarily working not according to your calling, but you have big plans, you want to study or improve in your profession.

Stop - topics for the first acquaintance

It is not the ability to speak, but the desire to listen that makes a person an excellent interlocutor. However, the ability to start and maintain a conversation is a very useful skill. It is best to communicate at the table on neutral topics.

You can discuss culinary preferences, tastes, recipes for cooking. Talking about the hobbies or hobbies of the owners of the house will also be very helpful. Inveterate gardeners will gladly share their plans for the future harvest; a fisherman or hunter will always have a couple of amusing stories. An anecdote told to the place will help to defuse the situation and cheer you up.

Each person has topics that he does not like to discuss with strangers. It is better to find out about such taboos in a conversation with parents in advance so as not to get into trouble. You should not touch on topics related to negative points. Nevertheless, you are going to have a rest, and not discuss the development of the global crisis and the decline in production. Even if you and the guy’s parents are careerists and workaholics, it’s not customary to discuss business at such meetings.

How to understand that the meeting was a success?

Even if you tried hard, followed the recommendations of psychologists and the rules of etiquette, do not expect that after the first meeting, your boyfriend's parents will love you like their own. As long as you remain a stranger to them. However, some signs may suggest that you are on the right track in building relationships with your future relatives. If the meeting ended with an agreement to continue the acquaintance and the guy expressed a desire to meet your dad and mom, or pay a visit to your home, we can assume that the first meeting was fruitful.

Text: Evgeny Smirnov, psychologist

You are so happy that you are ready to shout to the whole world about your love. Moreover, you do not even mind meeting your parents with the hero of your first novel. the site will tell you how to carry out this operation so that none of the interested parties is hurt.

Ask yours in advance
beloved, does he want
meet your parents?
(Still from the movie "First Love")

• 1 Decide if you need to rush.
  If you met each other the day before yesterday, then talking about introducing the family is, to put it mildly, premature.
  If the guy is more than 5-7 years older than you, dissatisfaction may arise. Parents will treat a peer with greater disposition than an older person.
• 2 Ask your lover in advance if he himself wants this acquaintance. With such a question, you will kill two birds with one stone: you will learn about the seriousness of his feelings for you and demonstrate your respect for him.
• 3 Don't be shocked: if your boyfriend is a fan of piercings and tattoos, and your parents only wear Armani suits, then despite your best efforts, it will be very difficult for them to communicate. Try to find a compromise - ask, for example, to remove especially flashy jewelry so as not to spoil the first impression.
• 4 Talk to your parents. To begin with, let us know that you have a boyfriend, tell all the information you need about him. And somewhere in a week or two, when the first wave of parental stress subsides, you can think about a meeting.

How to behave as a girl

• 1 Don't worry. This is an important event, but your fate does not depend on it. Even if your parents don't like the guy, it's up to you to decide whether to date him or not.
• 2 Avoid complex and lengthy speeches. Speak simply. For example, "Mom and dad are Seryozha - my young man."
• 3 Keep the number of blanks to a minimum. Prepared topics for conversation, memorized phrases, they cause those painful pauses in the conversation that you so want to avoid.
• 4 Be prepared for anything. Rest assured, the welcome speeches will be followed by the obligatory inquiries.
• 5Smooth corners. Feel free to change the theme if you see that someone doesn't like it. Dose humor.

What questions should a young man be prepared for?

• Where do your parents work? A question that will be asked with a probability of 95% will immediately give parents an idea of ​​which family the boy is from.
  Correct answer completely depends on who the girl's parents work for. Formulate in such a way that the status of the boy's parents is a little higher than theirs. You can even embellish a little.
• What are your plans for the future? Any parents want to see a person next to their daughter who thinks about the prospects.
  Correct answer should sound ambitious enough, but not empty words. So, as if you clearly know what you will be doing for the next five years.
  Incorrect answer- "Particularly none."
• How is your academic progress? This question allows you to get some idea about the abilities and capabilities of a young person.
  Correct answer- must meet the expectations of parents in relation to the daughter. In any case, you need to do without bravado.
  Incorrect answer- “Study does not interest me”, “Average”, “Normal”, “Five in the trimester in physical education”.
• Do you smoke? Bad habits will repel most parents, even if they themselves tar from the age of 15 2 packs a day.
  Correct answer- "No".
  Incorrect answer- “I indulge”, “Sometimes I smoke”, “I smoke”.
• How do you spend time together? The question is asked in 100% of cases, but in different wordings depending on the tactfulness of the parents. They want to know what you're doing when you're alone because they feel responsible for their daughter. So with maximum understanding, but not necessarily with maximum honesty, take the interest of the elders.
  Correct answer- "We go to the cinema, theater, walk with friends." In general, any place where more than 2 people. Parents will be so calm.
  Incorrect answer- “This is our own business”, “We are sitting at home”, and even more so, answers with sexual overtones should be avoided.

Even if everything went at the highest level, at first the parents will subconsciously perceive your chosen one as an invader. You will have to be patient and remember that relationships are a building, and a building is not built in one day.

If you value your feelings, you will succeed. By the way, this is exactly what the new youth film is about, which starts on March 5 in Russian cinemas.

Getting to know parents in a timely manner if:

• relationship with a girl lasts a long time;
• relations have already taken a serious character;
• both parties are looking forward to continuing the relationship.

If one of the two is not sure that the relationship will be long-lasting, it is better not to force acquaintance with the parents.

Preparation

In order for the acquaintance to take place at the highest level, you should prepare for it. There are many nuances to be foreseen, nothing to be forgotten. First step to successful acquaintance with parents - a conversation with a girl about them. Questions recommended for discussion:

• What do parents love?
• Their habits and preferences?
• How do they feel about their daughter's relationship?
• What are the features, topics, questions that should be avoided in a conversation?

Gift required

It's a bad idea to come to a girl's parents for the first time empty-handed. In order to defuse the situation and make a positive impression right from the door, it is better to choose and purchase a small present in advance.

Basic rules for choosing a gift for the girl's parents:

• not too cheap and not too expensive. A cheap gift is unlikely to be to your liking, and will characterize the donor from a bad side. A gift that is too expensive may put parents in an awkward situation;
• appropriate for the moment. You should not give a gift of a comic nature, ambiguous gifts can be misunderstood;
• corresponding to taste. It is better to discuss the issue of a gift with a girl in advance. She knows her parents and their taste preferences better.

Options for gifts for mom can be:

• flowers;
• candies;
• decor items;
• beautiful accessory;
• favorite perfumes;
• a beautiful item for the kitchen (original dish, plate, etc.);
• scarf.

When choosing a gift, you should definitely consult with the girl. Suddenly her mother is allergic to flowers or sweets. It will not be superfluous to find out what perfumes, sweets, accessories she likes.

Gift options for dad:

• good alcohol;
• cigars;
• car accessory;
• tie;
• new computer game (probably :)).

The gift is chosen depending on the tastes and the situation.

You can give something relevant for both parents at once. For example, tickets to the cinema, theater, concert. The main thing is to show attention and interest in communication.

Appearance

It is unlikely that parents will like it if the chosen one of their beloved daughter comes in a dirty construction uniform or overly tight low jeans. Definitely, all people are different, and someone may like an extravagant look, but it's not worth the risk. Clothes on the day of dating should be:

• clean, tidy. Nobody likes sloppy people. Parents who want the best for their daughter will not be happy with an untidy young man;
• restrained in style. Shouldn't be worn carnival costume, rocker outfit or incompatible things. Sneakers with a business suit will clearly confuse parents and create tension from the first minutes of communication;
• restrained in form. It is not recommended to wear too bright shirts, extravagant cut T-shirts. It is better to give preference to classic things: shirts, trousers, T-shirts in neutral colors, jeans without unnecessary details.

In addition to clothing, close attention should be paid to:

• perfume. The guy should smell like a pleasant perfume. Don't overdo it;
• hair. They must be clean and neatly combed;
• general condition. You should not go to get acquainted with a cold or after a perky party. Sometimes it is better to postpone this important event and prepare better for it.

The process itself

When all the preparations are made, the gift is bought, you can go to the girl's parents and get to know them. First you need to be sure to come at the appointed time, you should not be late.

First impression

The most important thing when he came to meet the girl's parents was to make good first impression. If communication does not work out on the first notes, it will be quite difficult to correct the situation.

The very first thing to do when visiting a girl's parents:

• say hello;
• greet mom and dad;
• give presents;
• note that mom looks great or make some appropriate compliment.

If there are younger siblings in the family be sure to provide for them a sign of attention: a toy, a chocolate bar, etc.

After all the welcome actions are completed, for sure, the parents will offer to move to the table. Most likely, there will already be some dishes on it. A good move is to compliment the hostess about hospitality.

If the option of how to get acquainted with the girl's parents is a family tea party, do not refuse the offered cup of coffee or tea.

Rules of etiquette

At dinner or a cup of coffee, it is better to behave as naturally as possible, but taking into account the rules of etiquette:

• do not slurp, do not "squish" tea, etc.;
• do not speak with a full mouth;
• take care of the ladies;
• note the taste of dishes or the beauty of table decoration;
• behave with restraint, do not make flat jokes;
• be natural.

Communication rules

It is clear that getting to know your parents involves communication. And it is not always pleasant or expected. How to behave in the process of communication:

• respect for parents. You need to contact "You" and find out in advance the name and patronymic of each of the parents of the girl;
• good attitude towards the girl. For parents, the most pleasant thing will be if they feel that their daughter is loved and needed;
• listen and do not interrupt. Nobody likes not to be listened to. It is instantly repulsive. You need to listen carefully to a question or story, and then start talking yourself;
• exclude sarcasm, irony and banter. These techniques are completely inappropriate in communicating with the girl's parents. First, they are adults and should be treated with respect. Second, irony can be misunderstood. You can and should joke, but be careful;
• do not reveal all the cards. Tricky questions should be answered with restraint, to the point and briefly. Many extra words will seem useless. You should not “turn your soul inside out” at the first meeting, but being silent and making excuses is also not the best option;
• be interested. You should not show excessive curiosity, but you can take an interest in exciting moments in a conversation;
• do not cover prohibited topics. Perhaps there are topics in this family that are forbidden to discuss. It is better to ask the girl about them in advance and exclude them from the conversation completely;
• Be yourself. You don't have to pretend to be another person. Falsehood is immediately felt and will be mistaken for a lie.

Questions from parents

You will have to go through the most crucial moment in communicating with parents and answer their questions. Do not think that they want to find a catch and put their guest in best light. In fact, they just care what kind of person is next to their daughter. Top 5 questions:

Question 1. On the seriousness of intentions.

This question is inevitable, and it will have to be answered. If a wedding with a girl is not approaching, you should not swear to her parents in fidelity and endless love for their daughter.

In life, everything can change, and then it turns out that these were empty words. It is important to designate a respectful, careful, reverent attitude towards the girl. This will be quite enough if the visit did not consist of a specific purpose - to start a conversation about the wedding.

Question 2. About family, children.

There will certainly be a question about the attitude towards family values, love for children. In any case, you should answer according to your own feelings. The answer must be correct and soft.

If there are no children in the immediate plans, you should not frankly declare that children are only under the sign of death. You just need to focus on the fact that everything is ahead, and it’s too early to think about it, and career / study / army, etc. are in the plans.

Question 3. About plans for the future.

The question of plans for the near and not so future can be answered directly. Everyone has their own plans and dreams, you can voice them. For example, graduate from college / go to university / find a job / build a career / start a family, etc.

Question 4. About myself.

What is your hobby? Where do you study? What kind of person are you? What do you like/dislike? etc. Lots of options. When answering, you can talk about your hobbies, hobbies, positive character traits. The main thing is not to overpraise yourself and not look like a narcissistic bouncer. You can objectively talk about your successes and achievements.

Question 5. About parents.

You can talk about your parents, what they do, who they are, etc. No need to delve into family relationships, give out all the nuances.

Stop topics

There are points that should not be discussed when meeting the girl's parents for the first time, acquaintance with the parents does not tolerate:

• dark stories from the past, the negative qualities of a guy's character can scare and alert;
• family troubles between parents, conflicts are better not to mention;
• religion, politics– slippery topics for discussion. Don't touch them if possible. In a conversation on these topics, it is easy to offend the interlocutor or cause conflict;
• girl's flaws. It will be unpleasant for parents to hear and discuss any mistakes of their daughter;
• intimate questions, below the belt jokes. It’s not even worth explaining that this is simply unacceptable;
• common acquaintances. Do not gossip and discuss mutual acquaintances. It's ugly and inappropriate.

Approach to the girl's mom and dad

Men and women are wired differently. Approach to them must also be sought individually. To find the key to the location of the father, you can discuss topics that are important to him.

Fishing, hunting, car, sports, news - find out from the girl what her dad is especially interested in, and get ready. How do you get to know a girl's mother? Mom's location can be obtained by noting her culinary skills, cozy home environment, beauty, hospitality.

End of dating

After dinner and conversation, you need to catch the moment when it would be more correct to leave. Staying too long or rushing to run away is bad form. If the moment has come, before leaving, you should definitely:

• thank you for a wonderful evening, dinner, reception, etc.;
• once again note the attitude towards the girl and respect for the parents;
• say goodbye politely.

If the acquaintance with the parents took place, then, most likely, the test has been passed, and you can exhale. When meeting with parents, you need to be attentive, polite and accurate. You will have to act according to the situation, think quickly and accurately.

However, no matter what family, what social status, wealth, a girl lives, must be observed:

• smile;
• listen attentively;
• to be polite;
• be yourself.

And then, any acquaintance with the parents will be held at the highest level, and the visit to this family will not be the last.

How to meet the girl's parents in the video: