Nice to meet you! How to behave in the company of strangers: practical advice. How to join a new group of friends? How to fit in with guys

20.07.2020

Corporate party on new job, where you still practically don’t know anyone from the team, or an invitation to a party with a new friend, where you don’t know anyone at all. It’s impossible to refuse, but it’s scary to go. How to successfully join an unfamiliar company and leave a pleasant impression of yourself? How to have fun with everyone, and not sit alone in the corner with salads and drinks? Read carefully and reel on your mustache.

1. How will they like it? Very simple. You just need to forget about the desire to please. The more we want to please someone, the more often we get the opposite effect. People see our pretense and desire to please. Someone is annoying, and who is smarter, he begins to use it. Let's approach this issue from the other side. Make them like you. Feel yourself sincere sympathy for all these strangers. After all, there is something good in each of them, you can believe me. You just need to see it. Even in the system administrator Petya, who sputters when talking. And in the secretary Lyudochka, a terrible gossip and talker. Look what a cute pink headband Ludochka is wearing today. Why not a compliment? Sincere compliment!!! And now Lyudochka has something to talk about - where did she buy this headband, what headbands are in fashion now, in which stores are there summer discounts on headbands?

2. Do I need to smile? Dale Carnegie, an internationally recognized specialist in the psychology of communication, considered a smile to be the most in a simple way make a good impression on yourself. Smile at the world and the world will smile back. Yes, this is true, unless it is a good mine for a bad game. Smile because you are really happy. Generate this joy and good mood, enjoy everything that happens. Your radiant smile will become truly attractive and irresistible.

3. What to talk to them about? You can talk to strangers about almost anything. About weather, about politics, about music, about culinary recipes, about fashion, about men, about gophers…. The main thing is that the conversation should be interesting to both parties and it is desirable that in its process both parties understand that how much they have in common with the interlocutor. Just like you Siamese twins Zita and Gita. And further. Business etiquette suggests that at corporate parties it is usually considered bad manners to talk about work. So take note. But it is even worse to turn communication into washing the bones of your colleagues and superiors. So that later it would not be excruciatingly painful and ashamed of the words spoken in a drunken mind.

5. How to achieve ease and ease in communication? This is only possible if you allow yourself to be yourself. But while you are afraid of someone else's negative assessment, it is almost impossible to do this. Remember how directly and easily small children who do not have this fear communicate. Imagine that all these strangers are one big group of people who love you. They are all very happy to see you. And everything that you will do and say, they will perceive with a bang! Even if you fart loudly, they will enthusiastically applaud you. All of them have gathered to please and cheer you, so that you can enjoy communicating with them. You can relax and behave naturally with them, as with friends. Each of them is pleasant and interesting for you. With such an inner attitude, go to the party!

This problem is practically not faced by extroverts and those who like to be in the spotlight and do not think at all about how to adapt to a new environment. Introverts and sensitive people are another matter - for them an unfamiliar company can become a real torture. Although such a way out of the comfort zone can significantly expand the horizons: you can meet new friends, find a great job and hobby, and also find your love outside the Internet. Get offline more often!

5 ways to quickly adapt in an unfamiliar company

Be open and positive (as far as possible). Do not load new acquaintances with your problems and difficulties from the first meeting. Try to be yourself, while behaving adequately and simply. The surest way to control the situation is to put yourself in the place of the interlocutors and ask yourself the question: would I want to continue communicating with her?
Relax. You don't have to be liked by everyone. And generally like someone in this company. So relax and enjoy, you don't owe anything to anyone.
Give me a couple of compliments. Do you like the music, the place, the atmosphere? Say it out loud to show your attitude and start a pleasant conversation.
Don't be silent. How to behave in an unfamiliar company? First of all, to participate in communication, because that's what you came here for? In a positively minded company, newcomers are always welcome. And if the atmosphere seems unfriendly to you, it’s better to politely say goodbye and leave than endure the whole evening sitting silently in the corner.
Be attentive. To join in the dialogue, you can watch a little. This will also be useful for your next meetings - you will quickly figure out what roles people play in this group, what they are interested in and what kind of sense of humor they have.

What to talk about in the company of strangers

There are several almost win-win topics that will help you get involved in communication, as well as get to know those around you better:

Trips. What to talk about in an unfamiliar company, if not about travel? Discuss plans for the upcoming season, ask where this couple managed to get such a great tan, find out what type of holiday the rest prefer. Maybe you will find the perfect travel companion for your next trip!
Movie. Movie premieres are a neutral and exciting topic that will allow you to find out the tastes of new acquaintances and plan your leisure time.
Sport. In almost every company there is a fan of running, cycling or football.
Hobby. In this regard, it is not always possible to find common ground, but if you find yourself in an unfamiliar company at a thematic master class, feel free to join the discussion of your common hobby.
Interesting news. Not politics and the life of stars, but lifestyle news. I read something fascinating about new inventions, space exploration or unusual image life? Share information, most likely, the topic will be of interest to many.
The weather, finally. Why not? This is true for everyone! And there is always something to discuss.

There are people sociable from nature. Wherever they are, they are "their own" everywhere. It is easy to communicate with them, and they do not "bother" how to behave and what to say. But most people are not endowed with the ability to be a leader and the soul of a company. Life in megacities makes us withdrawn, shy, and we feel awkward in an unfamiliar company. You don’t know what to talk about, how to behave, and the further you go, the more you want to avoid such “outings”. But so life will pass in solitude and boredom!

If you turned out to be in an unfamiliar company, do not hide in a corner, no one will find you there. Try to pull yourself together and take advantage of the situation to make new friends, or just have a good time. And small practical advice, presented here, will help you to establish contact with strangers in any company, and maybe even transform your world.

Be polite and friendly

"Politeness- the best weapon of a thief. "By the way, not only a thief! A smiling and polite person always makes you want to smile back. If you smiled - half the job is done! You have already proven yourself a pleasant person.

Feel free to say your name

Don't know how come up to a stranger and start a conversation? Start with a name! "Hi! My name is Lena. What about you?" The conversation is already over. Moreover, the most pleasant sound for a person is the sound of his name. More often in a conversation, refer to the interlocutor by name, this will put him to you. If you came to the company and everyone was introduced to you: “Meet Zhenya, Petya, Kolya, Vasya, Ira, Sveta, Galya…”, there is no embarrassment that you did not remember the name of the person. During the party, if you want to come up to talk, smile and ask: "Sorry, I didn't remember your name. If you didn't remember mine, I'm Lena." The person is likely to genuinely laugh with you and, of course, introduce himself again. It will be much better than mixing up the name, or not even calling him by his name at all.

Speaking of sense of humor

Always take take it with you, especially to unfamiliar companies. You never know what people you don't know will say to you! Turn all the unpleasant moments into a joke. If you have a serious illness, and you can not drink alcohol, you do not need to immediately take offense at the traditional jokes about "sick and disrespectful". Joke it off: "I'm driving. I bought a car yesterday. It's called a fixed-route taxi." You can prepare in advance comic answers to questions that touch you, then no one will be able to spoil your mood. And of course, laugh at other people's jokes! There is nothing more pleasant when the interlocutor appreciates your sense of humor. Rate it too. Men are especially sensitive to how much their sense of humor is valued. Play along, you will not lose.

Be needed and yours

If at a party dinner is provided, take care of the neighbors a little: pass the salad, without waiting for the request, offer a drink. And in this case, it does not matter who is nearby, a man or a woman. Everyone is pleased when they are looked after and noticed. Here is your first friend in an unfamiliar company. If everyone is going to dance, don't pretend to be a "non-dancer", join the company. Well, if the company is divided into groups, which usually happens in the middle of the event, determine which company the leaders are in and join them. You always need to be close to the winners.

"The weather today is not very good"...

Start conversation, and then the conversation does not stick. "Yes, not really," the interlocutor will sluggishly answer, and step aside. What to talk about? Probably, finding a common topic for conversation is the most difficult thing, especially if you get the same uncommunicative one. A win-win: start with a compliment. Only sincere, and expressing interest in details. For a very long time I could not make contact with one girl in the team, until one day I saw on her Nice dress. "What a delightful dress! What kind of fabric is this? Did you buy or sew? Do you know how to sew yourself? Did you finish the courses? Where? In absentia?" The conversation dragged on by itself, like a chain. The links of the conversation were added quickly.

Girl inspired compliment, easily and naturally supported the conversation. In order for the “links” of the conversational chain to continue, ask small unfolding questions that cannot be answered in monosyllables, but you need to tell something. And most importantly, listen very carefully and assent. So you will earn a reputation as an interesting interlocutor. It is not necessary to talk about yourself. In general, avoid excessive talkativeness if you want to win the favor of the interlocutor. Nothing inspires us as much as we ourselves, beloved and unique!

Ask right!

Easiest destroy any pleasant dialogue is to ask an inappropriate question. What questions and topics would be inappropriate? Today, the range of unpleasant questions has expanded significantly compared to the classic "politics and religion." Never ask a man why he came alone. Also be afraid to ask questions about personal relationships, they will only turn the interlocutor away from you. And our favorite question: "What do you miss there?" Maybe the person felt bad, or just sat down to rest, and you immediately call him boring. Traditional questions like “What do you do in life?”, “Where do you work?”, “What do you value most in people” drives you into a stupor, and does not encourage conversation. You are not present at the interrogation. Why personal information?

But what to talk about?

In general, in order to become interesting interlocutor, it would not hurt to expand your horizons in order to know how to properly maintain a conversation with a person who is fond of, for example, billiards. Do you know what a cue is? What to ask a car lover? It is not necessary to know everything, but at least read about the main points different parties life. Then you will be considered an erudite interlocutor with whom it is pleasant to chat, even if you just ask a couple of questions about which gearbox he prefers: manual or automatic.

To feel comfortable yourself in any company, there are many tricks that are quite natural for some people and require learning for others. But it can be mastered. Only the primary "skills" of dealing with people are outlined here. If you delve into this topic, you can also talk about non-verbal communication, the adjustment process, the "three yes" rule and many other psychological tricks that help you tune in to the same wavelength with the interlocutor and get consent and support from him on any issue. But that's a completely different story. Communicate, enjoy communication, give pleasure, and you will be happy!

There is one common belief that men and women are essentially creatures from different planets. Representatives of the weaker and stronger sex cannot do without each other. However, boys and girls often fail to achieve remembrance among themselves. Many girls do not understand men at all and therefore cannot find or find any common ground in communication with them. In order to be able to communicate with guys, girls first need to learn how to listen.

Only with such a skill can one come to an understanding of another person. Finding a common language with a group of guys or one of them specifically is not at all difficult, as it might seem. However, most girls tend to make such a mistake, in which they liken the features of the thinking of guys and their psyche to their similar characteristics. But the male type of thinking, as well as the peculiarities of the perception of the world by guys, are fundamentally different from female similar phenomena. Women tend to be guided in life by emotions or feelings under any circumstances. However, men primarily think rationally and logically. When a woman tries to influence male behavior, exerting pressure or appealing to his emotions, then in most such cases the man will behave like a completely insensitive creature.

Such a calm behavior of a man often provokes a woman into a scandal, and often she literally turns into a hysteric at the same time. To prevent conflict, girls should take into account that for the most part, guys really don’t like it when someone wants to take pity on them. Also, they may not be able to regret themselves at all. From any situation or difficult case, the guy will strive to find a rational way out. For strong emotions, they often leave no room at all. Many guys absolutely do not understand why they ask several times, for example, how are you. They also do not understand the purely feminine sighs and the so-called gasps, which often appear when nothing can really be done. Not a single guy will even sit next to a girl he loves very much in order to “grind” an already known problem a hundred times.

They absolutely do not need to delve into all the details or nuances of difficulties. The main thing for them is to find the optimal and rational way out of a difficult situation. And girls should remember about such features of guys. Otherwise, it will not be possible to find a common language with them. Many young people absolutely cannot fall in love with a number of topics that most of the girls can talk about for hours. Even if a guy classifies himself as stylish and fashionable, then he still cannot stand a three-hour conversation about cosmetics or clothes. If a girl wants to communicate with the male sex on an equal footing, then she absolutely needs to be interested in cars, computers and a number of men's games. It is on these topics that guys like to talk often and for a long time.

If you, as a girl, certainly want to find friendship with guys, then for this you definitely need to accept young people completely as they really are. However, the girl's behavior in the circle of guys should be such that young people themselves do not forget about her gender. This means that one should never forget about such an attractive and necessary quality as femininity. Girls during friendship with young people should not themselves reincarnate as guys. To do this, you do not need to adopt purely male hobbies or hobbies for yourself, however, if some of the interests are inherent in guys, then they should be supported in this. To be able to accept young man fully, it is necessary to be familiar at least to some extent with his psychology. Often guys tend to outwardly seem more successful and "cool".

Also between the guys there is such a characteristic feature in which they cannot be sincere with each other. They will always embellish and exaggerate their stories about victories and achievements. Only a true friend or girlfriend can force a young man to give up the mask and betray the true qualities of his soul. However, a girl should never put pressure on a young man and try to convince him against his own will.

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