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"Pro City" learned how Syktyvkar girls behave in a bar. Night club. Funny, funny cases in clubs. Girl in the club What women want in a bar
Men go to bars not only to drink, but also to pick up girls. How should a man behave in a bar in order to leave there in the company of a pretty baby?
Success with women has nothing to do with what you do with them or how you treat them. This success depends on how you feel about yourself. Ross Jeffries
How to get acquainted in a bar, cafe and other similar establishments?
Dating girls in cafes or bars does not look very difficult. Girls go there to have tea/coffee/alcoholic drinks and relax. Many beautiful creatures will not mind keeping company. Some of them will want to get to know each other better.
You should not come too early to such establishments, for example, right after work. best time It will be not 7 pm, but 10-11. Let the girls come early and unwind a little. Girls will drink a little and become more supportive of the men rolling up to them. You don't have to give them drinks to drink and entertain them all evening, let other, less smart comrades do it. Coming a little later, you will take off the “cream” of female attention. At the height of the evening it will be easier to get acquainted in a bar. You will be a new interesting face in the institution and sober, unlike other men who have already managed to gain.
It’s good if you come to the institution not alone, but with friends. So it will be easier to lull the attention of the surrounding ladies and easier to get acquainted with the girls. You came to relax with friends, and not to shoot girls, and your image, in the eyes of young ladies, is impeccable.
Arriving at an institution, you should not immediately look for a companion. First, take a closer look and let the women around you evaluate yourself. To reduce the probability of failure, determine who is not averse to getting to know each other here at all, and who came here only to relax. Don't order her champagne at the next table, like in the movies, it looks like a frank eat.
The best option for a tackle on a girl is when she is alone. Pick a moment and follow her outside for a smoke. You can roll up to the girl when she went to the bar. Approach her, but not from the back, but from such a point that she sees your approach. It is not clear where the man who appears can scare the girl. If she is with a girlfriend, then at the very beginning, concentrate on her and ignore her friends. Later, she can introduce you to them herself, but you don’t really need to communicate with her company, you didn’t come here for that.
Do not come to meet in large numbers other girls. If you are refused, then all the other girls in the bar will witness your "little defeat". You won't be able to meet them later. If today is “not your” day and you have been rejected more than 5 times, you should change your location and move to a nearby bar.
In institutions, you can get acquainted with waitresses. The most interesting thing is that they are often prettier than the rest of the cafe visitors. On duty, they are obliged to communicate with you. If you were good enough, she'll give you her number. Often waitresses get used to constant attempts to eat. Here you have to be different from others and be definitely sober. Waitresses don't like anyone but drunken men. Sometimes you can agree to wait until the end of her shift and gallantly show her home. Waitresses like gentlemen, boors and rude men they have seen more than once.
Alone or a company of girls looking around is also your option. Some women's companies are deliberately loud, you should pay attention to them, because that's what they achieve.
You can meet in a bar by inviting girls to a slow dance. So you can evaluate whether she is here alone or with a man. Approaching a girl when a fast tune is playing is not a very good option. Unless, of course, you are a professional dancer.
After meeting a girl, you should act by the method of bar-dance-communication and so on in a circle. In the dance, you can be a little more daring and finally appreciate the elasticity of her buttocks and the softness of her lips. Alcohol when meeting in a bar is more than correct. It will help you both feel more at ease. It is alcohol that most often pushes people to have sex on the first date.
After the evening, you can try to drag her to your bed. Offer to move to you. It's definitely quieter in there than here at the bar. Come up with a reason. You can justify the closer location of your apartment than her home, or lure with something interesting. For example, you can offer to watch a movie, a collection of your children's badges or stamps. Sometimes it succeeds, sometimes it doesn't. She perfectly understands all the background and "danger" of the invitation. The more harmless or funnier the occasion, the better.
On the other hand, you can always get her phone number and call back in a couple of days. Calling her later, you may find that you do not have her phone number, in the reference number of the mobile operator. This also happens, but more often it is she who will answer your call.
Do not listen to anyone that dating in bars and cafes is not very successful. You are much more likely to meet a normal girl in a cafe or bar than in a nightclub or library.
Women need to be entertained. Luckily, this can be done without the horrors of license to kill and jumping out of a plane. Only minimal preparation is needed.
Why did James Bond embrace more and more Russian agents at the end of each episode? Maybe because he wore an Omega watch, and he looked like a spitting image of Pierce Brosnan? Wrong answer. It's just that without agent 007, the girls would have had absolutely nothing to do during these two and a half hours. As a result, the young ladies - unfolded personal happiness, the audience - heartburn from popcorn, and the film - a complete failure. Conclusion: women need to be entertained. Fortunately, this can be done without any horror (like a license to kill and jumping from a plane). Only minimal preparation is needed.
Of course, we know that with a sufficient level of upbringing, you are entertaining for a girl on your own. You open the doors for her, push the chairs back, hand over your coat, and on command bring coffee. In addition, your mediocre and dull male topics of conversation (cars, football, the Linux operating system or the domestic securities market) for the young lady are shrouded in a charming aura of novelty for the time being. But in ten minutes you will have to look for more interesting fun. And it's still too early to go to your favorite way of entertainment, and you can't right here, in front of everyone. For this transitional period, our little guide will come in handy. With minimal imagination and simple props, you can entertain a girl literally anywhere.
IN THE CAFE
Any catering establishment should have: napkins, waiters, sodas with ice, ashtrays and tea bags. Plus money and small rubbish in your pockets. Well, you yourself, of course, with your sparkling imagination. This is what we will work with.
1. NAPKIN
If you practice in advance, it costs nothing to fold a lily or a candle from a napkin. You should not explain the meaning of the act: any of your tricks that do not obey the logic of necessity will cause a surge of romantic emotions in the girl.
If you are reluctant to learn new tricks with a napkin, you can limit yourself to a traditional boat. Stick a toothpick into it and drag it back and forth across the tablecloth. At the same time, mumble something about a boat that will take her straight from this cafe to a beautiful place-she-there-wanted (at the same time you will find out exactly where).
2. WAITER
So that the girl does not forget that you are special, you can polish the wording of at least one of your culinary passions to a shine. For example, to the question of the waiter “what do you want?” throw casually: “Juice, any, but without pulp” (compare: “Martini with ice, but do not shake” ...). If you put some emphasis on this, then the girl may be interested in why it is suddenly necessary without pulp, and it would also be good to think over in advance - and give an exhaustive answer. Naturally, you should not shrug your shoulders and mumble: "My mother told me that they get fat from the pulp."
3. MONEY
The most obvious (but not the most original) way to entertain a girl with money is to hand her a thick wad, saying weightily: "Have fun!" For some reason, girls rarely complain about such treatment, but today we decided to be romantic. Therefore, two bills of different denominations will suffice.
1. Fold them at an angle, as shown in the picture, so that the top does not reach about 1 cm from the edge of the bottom.
2. Roll into a tube. When the corner of the bill that lay below pops out of the tube, press it with your finger and roll the tube back. The girl will notice with amazement that the banknotes have changed places: the top has become the bottom. Now let the viewer think if you had something in mind or just joking.
4. ASHTRAY
Smoking stinking menthol stuff and drinking campari poisonous stuff is her right, but let her know you don't approve of either. Therefore, pour the abomination into the ashtray, let two matches float on top, and put two more on top of them. Light the top matches and cover everything with a glass. The abomination will be drawn into the glass (the level will rise). While the girl is dazedly remembering her school physics course, order her healthy freshly squeezed juice. At the same time, ask the waiter to remove the ashtray that you have fouled up.
5. TANGO
For many girls, dancing is their favorite form of entertainment. If you consider drag-knife and hand-wielding to be a primitive atavism, try to dance the tango without getting up from the table. For an incendiary dance, you only need the middle and index fingers of both hands. Humming something like "In the night garden under the shadow of a ripening mango" in a low voice, use your fingers to perform all the dance steps (this takes practice, but is much less intense than a real dance). Or maybe a girl wants to join you? Then remove one hand and dance with her together, trying not to crush her manicure.
6. ICE
After drinking soda, a piece of ice will remain in the glass. If you just pull it out and drag it along a girl's hand, she will think that you have not been to the cinema since the release of 9 1/2 weeks on the screen. Therefore, let's be a little more original: show her the main acupuncture points with the help of an ice floe.
Tse-Pi (outer side of the hand between the index and thumbs)
Yang-wee (in place of the clock)
Qu Wii (elbow inside)
Chi Quan (shoulder)
Xian-Su (neck in the middle)
Yin-San (nose bridge)
Quan-wzhu (end of the eyebrow)
Di-Cang (right corner of the mouth)
Ren-wee (behind the ear)
I-Ren (behind the ear in the hole towards the back of the head)
The remaining points in public places are practically inaccessible.
7. TEA BAG
Manage to prevent her from dipping him into the water. Take possession of the bag and tell us about how the Russians bought a rocket from the Americans (showing a Lipton tea bag). When transporting - well, they chose the transport company unsuccessfully! - her control cabin broke off (you tear off a piece of paper). Then, somewhere, a hose caught on something (you tear off the thread), and such a rocket came to the Russians (only a bag of tea should remain). The Russians thought and thought and poured out all the fuel (pour tea leaves into a girl's cup - she wants tea). You unfold the tea bag - you get a pipe, you take out a match, light the top, and - "Russians have flown, have a good trip!" - the bag, burning, flies up.
8. PAPER CLIPS
This simple trick with money and paper clips turns out by itself - you just need to put the paper clips on the banknote correctly. When unfolding the bill, the paper clips will be interlocked and will now go through life together. If from now on the girl begins to look into your eyes with idiotic significance, pretend that you do not notice anything.
IN CAR
Every girl knows that a car for a man is practically a sexual object. Therefore, if you let her drive, it's even more than just trust. So that the girl does not overstrain herself from responsibility, it is necessary to saturate the space of the car with a variety of entertainment.
1. MIRROR
Girls strive for perfection, they love mirrors and especially mirrors in the car. Cut the mechanism out of the music card and fit it into the fold of the mirrored solar panel. She will open and hear the music: "Happy Besdey", "Lambada" or Dvořák's Second Concerto for Piano and Violin and Orchestra.
2. FRONT GLASS BLOWER
While driving, write pleasant and kind words on the glass with your finger. When she turns off the engine, the glass will fog up and the inscription will become visible.
3. RADIO
The right choice of music repertoire is everything. And who's stopping you from recording something else besides music on a disc? For example, add a recording of squealing brakes and a powerful blow. A second before the right moment, you should plausibly glance in the rear-view mirror and comment on the impending disaster. True, not every girl will appreciate this cruel joke.
OUTDOORS
Now that the season of ringing streams and nightingale trills is over, only you can enliven the walk with romance.1. MOON
If this round stone thing hangs in the sky, we'll have to talk about it. So, on the visible side of the Moon there are six seas: Rains, Clouds, Humidity, Clarity, Tranquility and Crises. And then girls at school usually do not learn astronomy well. There is also the Rainbow Bay and the Ocean of Storms. Own Carpathians, Apennines, Alps, Altai and Caucasus. But getting there is difficult - after all, almost 400,000 km, with a consumption of 10 l / 100 km, 30 tons of gasoline flow. Another way to surprise a girl with the help of a night luminary: take out a handful of little things from your pocket and ask which of the coins can cover the disk of the Moon if you hold the money in your outstretched hand. Or maybe this will require a chocolate medal or a tea saucer? The girl will probably reach for the largest object. And in vain: even a penny coin blocks the moon with a margin. She is small, and in general they say so much about her in vain.
2. SAND
Drawing your names or pierced hearts in the sand is an intolerable banality. Better learn from the pilots: they invented a special alphabet in case of a forced landing.
I - Need a doctor
II - Medicines are needed
X - We are unable to move
V - Help Needed
N - No
Y-Yes
- Didn't understand
LL - All right!
I> - Let's try to take off
- Here you can safely land
NV - Now you can compose your own sign, and try to decipher it together. For example, if you feel that the landing of helicopters of the Ministry of Emergency Situations right now will only spoil everything, draw a sign “No help required”.
AT HOME
At home, she will certainly be interested in you, because he can tell a lot about you, your well-being, attitude to life and prospects, including in relation to her. Therefore, make sure that your home says the right and slightly flattering things about you.
1. TENNIS BALL
Something strange is happening to you. In general, you can stop the pulse with an effort of will (let her hold your wrist and check). If you put a tennis ball under your arm, then you just need to press it lightly, as the pulse will noticeably weaken, and after a few seconds it will stop altogether. This is due to the fact that the artery is blocked by a ball under the arm. If you release the pressure, the pulse is restored. Usually. If you haven't squeezed that ball for too long.
2. TEA NOT IN A RESTAURANT
Even if your invitation to a cup of coffee was just an excuse, the magic must not stop:
Pour boiling water over black and mint tea plus spices. After 6 minutes strain and add sugar. When cool, mix with lemon juice, add ice.
Need to: 2 tbsp. spoons of black tea, 1 teaspoon of ginger, 1 piece of cinnamon sticks, 4 pcs. cloves, 1 teaspoon of mint tea, 0.5 liters of boiling water, sugar, juice from three lemons, ice.
FRENCH TEA DRINK
Pour tea and red wine into warmed punch glasses. Add sugar.
Need to: 1 l of strong tea, 0.5 l of red wine, sugar.
INDIAN TEA PUNCH
Dissolve the sugar in 0.25 liters of water and cook together with the spices for 10 minutes in a saucepan under the lid. Brew tea (0.5 l of water). To the resulting tea, add wine, filtered syrup, spirally cut lemon peel and rum.
Need to: 0.5 st. tablespoons ground ginger, 2-3 pcs. cloves, 0.75 liters of water, 6 teaspoons of sugar, 1 bottle of red wine, 1 lemon, a little rum.
COFFEE "ESKIMO"
Brew ordinary coffee, strain and cool. Mix with ice cream and melted chocolate.
Need to: 60 g ground coffee, 4 scoops of ice cream, 5 tbsp. spoons of melted chocolate, 400 ml of boiling water.
COFFEE "CHOCOLATE"
Mix all ingredients.
Need to: 1/4 l of melted milk chocolate, 1/4 l of strong coffee, cream on request.
COFFEE "COLA"
Put a few ice cubes in each cup, pour cream, chilled coffee and Coca-Cola.
Lightly stir and serve.
Need to: 2 cups of strong coffee, ice cubes, 1.5 cups of Coca-Cola, 4 teaspoons of cream.
3. FIRE SIGN
The necessary reagents can be borrowed from the Young Chemist kit, ordered online, or even bought at a fertilizer store for a summer residence. A fiery inscription will appear on paper during the decomposition reaction of potassium nitrate (otherwise called "potassium nitrate"). On a sheet of paper, you outline a contour drawing and prepare a concentrated solution of potassium nitrate. To do this, dissolve 20 g of KNO3 in 15 ml of hot water with stirring. Then, using a brush, we impregnate the paper along the contour of the drawing with this solution, leaving no gaps or gaps. When the paper dries, it is necessary to touch a burning splinter to some point on the contour. Immediately a spark will appear, which will slowly move along the contour of the pattern until it closes completely. It is better not to show the inscription or drawing in advance, but to show the girl an already burning copy.
4. DECK OF CARDS
If a girl wants to leave, but you don’t like it, and you feel that she could stay, but the most important argument is missing, take a deck of cards. Say that you want to play with her for fun, it was not - the last game, and you let her go. Let her draw a card, any one, and remember it. If you guess what card she got, she ... she ... can she stay? .. Remind her that there are 36 cards in the deck, which means your chances are 1/36. If you guess right, it will be a clear sign of fate. Isn't it true? Not really. You guess. And do you know why? Because in your deck all the cards will be the same. Any. Guessed how? Of course, everything is correct, you bought 36 decks yesterday. Enough for 36 girls, by the way. And if you only need one, give your friends the other 35... decks, of course.
TOTAL:React if you see:
Tea bag
CD
pieces of ice
deck of cards
two paperclips
two banknotes
matches
sand
napkin
music postcard mechanism
moon
tennis ball
set "Young chemist"
Girls, tell us what ridiculous and funny situations happened to you in a club or at a party where there are a lot of people, and are you ashamed or not ashamed of it?
I have never been to clubs and parties, and I am not ashamed of it.
My friend got drunk, climbed onto the bar to dance, fell right into the bar, broke the bottles. Doesn't remember anything at all.
What I do not remember - that was not!
At least there were no injuries?
Girlfriend threw up on a new dress.
Oh, everyone has friends, acquaintances, neighbors. Come on, have you veiled yourself?
I remember going to the club, Borodina was there as a DJ. Then in the comedy club she told me that she had seen the first city in which the women were fighting on the dance floor.
When in the summer after the club in the downpour they returned home with their girlfriends. I had to take off my shoes and stomp barefoot. In the morning. Hodina is like that. It was not far away, but I remembered it for the rest of my life.
A friend twisted her leg and fell on the dance floor in the form of a star. This was 3 weeks ago.
I rarely go to clubs, because I don’t know how to behave, every time something ridiculous happens. The last time was in the spring, I went with my husband while he went to the toilet, sat down with the Palestinians, sat down with them for something, talked, and then to some fat man and his woman (the spitting image of the auditor), jibed her, spilled this man on cocktail pants, in short, it was necessary to get to the bottom of who - it doesn’t matter. Mine says, now, they say, you will go home, all claims were made to him. Well, he was also drunk, so he didn’t go far there either. Then I got to the bottom of some homosexual in a T-shirt with pineapples, argued with the boys that I would persuade him to have sex, and persuaded him. At that time, I was drinking vodka with these guys, it was already daytime, we arrived home at 6 pm, we were not at home for a day, we didn’t miss the club anymore. Yes, it's a shame.
He told the DJ that his music, like the creaking of chalk on a blackboard, turned out to be a sxrillex "a concert.
Fell with a girlfriend on the dance floor, and could not get up for two minutes.
Well, I fell too. Once I went to the toilet, and in front of the guard I threw up.
It's still a shame. Like me and my girlfriend at the age of 16, they dressed up, which means - a dress, heels, and attention - stockings sticking out from under the dress very much. And we thought we were so stylish, cool, grown-ups. It's horror, like two whores. Where was my brain to wear this.
I witnessed the situation. Baba got up, a la such a swell, the beauty is clear that with ambition. Hairstyle: long sleek ponytail on top. In the midst of the fun, jumps out on stage and starts shaking bodies, like, sexy, circular motions head and tail. Under friendly laughter, the tail flies off to the side and flies away in an unknown direction towards the audience. He was overbearing. The lady runs away towards the toilet, and her tail flies after her. Didn't show up again.
Yesterday at a corporate party. I once wrote that I like a man from work, he is cool, he has a beautiful voice and he smells delicious. So, yesterday I dressed up, he even said that I look good or something, but of course I was delighted. But then, it was nonsense, this moron behaved like the last cattle, got drunk in the trash, carried complete heresy, he vomited on the street, stole vodka from the tables of his colleagues, it was terrible, and now he is disgusting to me.
In general, there was a case, we were 17 years old, it was my first glass of vodka, and I thought I would die, it seemed to me that aliens would take me to the planet Krypton.
The most stupid and ridiculous situation was when I happened to accidentally end up in this gathering of degenerates and cattle, but I didn’t stay there for a long time, because I was bored with the imbeciles around. And the degenerates are only proud of this, they are proud that they got alcohol poisoning and behaved like pigs. That's stupidity and absurdity.
Like nothing like that. Only once I got stuck in a push, and I had to break the door. Well, the girl tried to glue her husband together with me.
A competition to see who can lie the most.
I sang Linkin Park's song in karaoke. That's all I wanted to say.
I stole vodka from the tables of my colleagues. The table is shared, everything that stands on it is also shared, maybe they gave him 3 more years of probation for this?
Oh, I also got stuck in the toilet once, security was breaking the door.
I don't drink, so I'm never ashamed of myself.
Damn, it was an awkward moment. At a concert two years ago. I stood, smoked, and the chick pushed me and worked out in front of the guys. She drove her elbow into my shoulder, did not apologize, only turned around and continued to whine. I took and smoked holes in her skirt. It was a little embarrassing, but this madam deserved it.
I woke up on the roof after the club.
I haven’t been to clubs, oh, there haven’t been any situations, I don’t drink. I live in vain, what will I tell my grandchildren?
When she couldn’t drink, she became ill in the club, hung in the toilet. The guy barely pulled me out of there, and I, somehow sorting through my hooves, went out with him, and went along Bolotnaya to a taxi. On the way, I felt bad again, and I began to "scold" the Moscow River. The guy held his hair and scribbled SMS in parallel. At some point, I see his brand new iPhone from the USA fall flat into the river from his clumsy hand and sink, with the screen still on fire. I immediately felt better, and I demanded to return to my friends in the club! All the way back to the club, I laughed heartily (not to say, whinnied). Friends greeted me with applause, like a master of regeneration. I will remember this night for a long time. And the guy too.
No stories. I've been to clubs 5 times. I don't like it there.
I have never been to clubs and will not go there. These are garbage cans.
Oh, where else to praise yourself for not drinking, not hanging out, if not here. You won’t praise yourself - no one will know what a smart girl you are, a homebody, yes. Well done.
By the way, I have not been to clubs either, but there was a case. I left the mall with a friend, he walked in front and asked for gum, I didn’t give it, and he blurted out something nicely to me, joked, and I decided to kick him in the ass. Near the shopping center there were 30-40 people, the porch was tiled and slippery. And now I have one leg in flight, the second slips, and I fall flat from my entire height, like a star. People fled, and I laughed wildly, it was just crazy, unrealistically ashamed, and at the same time, funny. Well, strangely enough, many ran up, began to ask how they were feeling. Nobody even whinnied. It was nice. And the chewing gum, the chewing gum flew off to the side, and nobody got it. My friend and I laughed for a long time. Karma, such karma.
In the nightclub where she worked, she came to hang out with her boyfriend on the weekend, and with the employees she participated in a vulgar competition on stage.
Yesterday I had a good walk at the corporate party, I don’t remember anything.
And my friend and I had a case. We came to the "Artist", young people came up to us and invited us to the table. Well, we got up so happy and started drinking with them. Literally an hour later, the men decided to go with us to their home. Well, we were not at a loss, and on the standard topic we went to the toilet. From there, naturally, bending down, we run to the wardrobe, and go to another club, it is clear that without saying goodbye. We go to the "roof" drunk, satisfied, we approach the entrance, and my friend (a slightly overweight girl) is not allowed by the face control. There's a woman, a lesbian, who doesn't like fat people. With sad mines we go to the road to catch a taxi, and who do you think is going? These freaks! They stop, get out, and give us a joke, why did they get away? What, they didn’t let it into the roof? It was such a shame, they barely left them again. Well, the fact that I puke in clubs or near them, I will not say anything (standard).
Hanging out with friends in a gay club, celebrating the birthday of one of them. Called the ex-boyfriend of her ex-friend. Running from one dance floor to another, where different music plays, we stumbled upon this very ex-friend of ours.
His ex-boyfriend not at a loss and kissed me passionately in front of him, in retaliation for all the garbage that he did. Both were sober. I never really drank.
I fell on my ass when I was going down the stairs from the stage, there was darkness for the people.
I beat my ass so hard, but didn’t show it, quickly jumped up, and with a stone face walked to my table. There was another case, I, drunk, stared onto the stage, and there the air conditioner blew strongly, and I stood so awesome all (as it seemed to me), the wind blows me away, chatting with my ass, holding on to the DJ column. In short, when I saw the pictures from the club, to put it mildly, I was shocked.
Haven't been to clubs. I don't like this atmosphere. Only at concerts a few times. There you are, you wonder...
In 2009, my girlfriend and I went to a cafe. There is a high stage. Well, we got drunk. Oops! Favorite song! Run to this stage. My friend jumped normally, and I stumbled and crashed onto this stage, rolled under the pylon (pole). I got up, brushed myself off, and let's dance. It was all public. Shame shame. Then there was a case, in the club I went to smoke on the stairs (the club is 4-story). She slipped and sat on the steps on her ass. She was in leather pants, slippery, and rode the span alone like a donkey. My ride guy unfamiliar gaze followed for a long time.
The boy fell asleep alone at the table, the guard came up, said, nothing to do. Well, I'm going to argue with him. Oru - call me the boss! The closet manager came, I let's throw ourselves at him. Then in the morning we went home, I forced that guard to call us a taxi and yelled that he was a loser, because he works as a watchman.
I really wanted tresses on hairpins. Husband bought, put on, go. Happiness is overwhelming. I say - we need to walk them now. Let's go to the club. Naturally, I threw myself on, and all this sexy dance went. Energy requires release, Tisha is dancing. In short, it was reduced in a drunken stupor to such an extent that the tresses began to fall off. They were 120 cm long, and if I had not stumbled over one of the bunches, I would have danced further.
I'm still a slut.
And everything was! And burped, and a clutch girlfriend with documents and valuables
substances lost, and dancing at the pole and on the pole. I remember one time in a club one of the "local" trances, jumped in a fit of feelings on a palm tree next to our table - of course, dumped. Everything is in smithereens - we are rolling. It is noteworthy that I had said half an hour before that "the palm tree is dumb, now it will fall on us, in short, croaked, witch!
And I've never been to a club.
I remember how drunk I danced at the pole, and somehow a friend dragged me to the bar to dance.
I was in the club in my 3rd year of college. A kid came up to me and asked if I even finished the ninth grade. It was dumb, to be honest, but then I thought - it's great that I look young.
Two years ago, at the club, on my birthday, the presenter congratulated Victoria. Came out to say thank you. It turned out that I'm not the only Vika in the club who had a birthday. Everything ended well, we already celebrated together, plus new friends. But at one point it was embarrassing.
I remember a couple of years ago we celebrated a date with a friend - the day we met. Without calculating, she drank a lot, danced incendiary, and decided to go to the toilet to fix her hair. I return with a squeal - I need to light it up (for some reason, at that very moment the music stopped), and I land on a half-twine, get up, dust myself off - well, no, no, that means plump! Again same in club, when the. I stood with a friend at the bar, and started talking to a man standing next to me. I told him that the music in the club is monotonous and disgusting has been playing for a very long time. Same. Although the club is expensive. She also asked who to tell about it. People don't like it. It turned out that it was the owner of the club, so she said.
Well, yes, judging by your vocabulary, it is not surprising how you behave in the club. Nothing personal, just don't forget that you are a girl first and foremost.
Girl, believe me, my vocabulary is not lame. Just as it was convenient for me to write, so I did. And before you criticize someone, improve yourself.
2 weeks ago I was in a club, went down from the 2nd floor, saw my ex, and rolled down the stairs. And there were a lot of things. So the main thing is that he lifted me up, and I proudly raised my head and told him: now, if you hadn’t come, goat, then everything would have been fine. And she went.
Okay, I’ll share my bullshit when I was young, I went to clubs only until my third year, I guess. A couple of times I flew down the stairs in front of everyone, and once in such a fall I got a cracked vertebra, and then I couldn’t get out of bed for a week. But at that moment, I didn’t feel anything but shame, and I hung out until the end of the night.
The dress on the ass cracked. In general, I didn’t care, we laughed with everyone, and that’s all.
Went with my husband and his friend somewhere in the summer. I was in wide sweatpants, which protruded from behind when I sat down. Some big nonsense was flying in the car, and I decided to pull up my pants so that it wouldn’t fly there. While pulling up, I got up, and this insect fell right there, right in my pants, and I sat on it. There was so much squealing and hysterics that my husband stopped, and I ran out into the street and took off my pants. And the guys were playing football by the road. Here was the picture. A car was driving, stopped and a girl jumped out with a screech and took off her pants.
The drunken woman leaned on a pole, and her little legs parted. So ridiculous and like in slow motion I slid down the wall (pillar) right in the center of the dance floor. The boy picked me up, but 10 minutes later I was already lying with my girlfriend in an embrace on the other side
And also the story of a turbulent youth. At the age of 16, I celebrated my birthday in a cafe, went home, I took a cake, the girlfriends rushed forward, and I was cut down, went to bed right in the middle of the road in the winter of February 10th. Mink hat on one side, cake on the other! Thankfully my friends are back!
I squeezed tears from myself in front of my ex’s brother and said how much I love his brother (although I don’t care at all), then I took rum, started yelling - we light it up! She moved as if I had a needle in my ass, started yelling - yes, I’m going to Moscow in general, I have connections there, my fiancé is waiting for me, that’s it, tomorrow I’ll buy a ticket and fly away. Then she screamed how good it is to be a lesbian. Now my hands are shaking, since I've been at work for two hours already, I want to sleep wildly, and I have dry skin, oh yes, I said that I would encode.
About 5 years ago, she closed herself in the toilet in a nightclub that was cool by local standards. The toilet was a cubicle, that is, a gap of 50 centimeters from the bottom. I'm in white pantsuit I crawl under the door. Naturally, I got out like a bum who fell into a puddle. In disgrace, she ran up the wall to the taxi. I hope no one fired up.
A friend of mine, walking around the city, wanted to go to the toilet and ran into the first cafe that came across, not Russian. When she entered, she immediately stumbled upon the owner. Asking permission to visit the toilet, she went into it, closed it, but could not open it. She burst from there, yelling: "Someone, help! This chock closed me here!" Well, I and this chock were standing right outside the door. He opened the door for her. I don’t know about her, but I was very uncomfortable in front of him.
It seems that there were no such stories, they danced and had fun.
These people are trash. And there are some really cool clubs out there.
Let us now turn to the subject of French leisure. How do people in France have fun? It is always a little curious how people spend their free time in different countries.
In general, we can say that they do not start going to different bars, clubs, terraces so early. I dare to suggest that it is unlikely that you can find teenagers of 14-15 years old in a bar, as is sometimes found in Russia, where you can sometimes see them with a triumphant smile on their faces: “We passed, we did it!”.
As for French children, they are consistent in this respect in an adult way. But not because you can’t go to such places, but simply because they don’t want to. Their childhood lasts a little longer than, for example, Russians or American teenagers. They know how to remain children with appropriate children's interests, which is sometimes a real relief for any parent.
The French usually make their first forays at the age of 18-19, with the beginning of their studies at universities, or higher schools. For reference, resistance to alcohol at this young time for them is zero. Therefore, if you go to a bar at 9 o'clock in the evening, by 11 you can be sure that your young French companions are deeply tipsy. University years pass easily and carefree, by 20 they are already walking all night and returning in the morning. At times it also depends on the subject that is being studied during this period. A priori, the most "tear-off" and "unpredictable" faculties are, surprisingly, the medical departments. Here, delicately speaking, people know how to organize their leisure time, or even better - to celebrate something.
Grandiose parties, dancing all the way, all sorts of competitions "on the weak", walking on the roofs. Sometimes it comes to flights to a neighboring country, to Italy, for example (very close to the Cote d'Azur). Although, it would be useful to note that during school hours, medical students also study and work hard at 100%. To master the education of such a profile is a very difficult task. If suddenly, while traveling in the south of France, on an evening walk you notice a running young man in some boxers (or even without them at all), while also shouting something - most likely this is a student of the Faculty of Dentistry. And if, in addition, this “object” is also trying to get to know others, you have a future surgeon in front of you.
The venue for the fun of the French is also slightly different from Russia, and a number of other countries where nightclubs are popular. And therefore, it will not be so easy to find any good club. Especially for party-goers who are accustomed to masterpiece establishments in which 1001 actions take place. With the possible exception of Monaco, which is located on the border with France, so officially it is still not French territory. When I ask why clubs are not so common in France, everyone always answers me in unison: “Uninteresting, too loud and not so comfortable to get to know each other.”
Speaking of dating - the French love it. To meet new people, to communicate with companies, and of course, “to show oneself and look at others” - all this is very much appreciated by them. The more different personalities there are, the happier the Frenchman is. This, in my opinion, is a fairly healthy initiative, since for the most part, men and women go to have fun without, for example, setting themselves the goal of finding “someone”. It either happens or it doesn't, so it's not the end goal. Such an attitude also allows you to calmly go alone somewhere to unwind - it is unlikely that anyone will pay close attention to this.
All this unbridled fun continues for about thirty years. After that, with the advent of the family, the craving for adventure noticeably decreases. They begin to play sports more actively. The most favorite view is, of course, skiing or snowboarding in the mountains. (By the way, this topic deserves a separate continuation).
30-37 years old is already a calm period, in which the French usually go to nice bars, restaurants, even on terraces where you can even dance. But all this happens already in the mode until midnight and accompanied by a maximum of three glasses. Therefore, if you want to break away and relax your soul, choosing a company of couples aged 35-40, you will most likely be slightly disappointed.
The French have a clear distinction between periods. When you can rush headlong, and when you need to calm down and move on to other aspects of life, like a career, family, sports. And they almost never miss the old days. Simply because each period of his life was used on a scale of twenty out of ten.
Veronika Dugusheva
The phrase "Girl, can I meet you?" girls are no more enthusiastic than the offer to present documents. These five dating tricks guarantee you success, enchanting sex, Thai massage, or at least a phone number.
Text: Alexander Zaits
Illustrations: Paul Wootton
Trick #1 Joke about her cocktail
bad habits bring together
Commenting on the contents of the glass will help you show a sense of humor and create sexual tension.
First step
So, your victim is sitting at the counter, drinking something. To begin with, take a leisurely walk around the room, evaluate the disposition - she is alone or with a gentleman. If there are no competitors, start artillery preparation: wait until she almost (almost - this is important) finishes her cocktail, smile and make eye contact. Make sure the girl responds to your gaze without choking in horror. Sit next to me, order something for yourself and see what exactly she drinks - this is also important. Be confident, as if you can’t even admit that she doesn’t want to communicate with the beautiful you. Now your way out. Make a casual remark: “Is it true that girls who drink margaritas are especially emotional?” or “Is it already (yet) ten in the evening, and you are still (already) drinking martinis?” Don't bother explaining your idiotic question. Whatever she says, feel free to offer, “Hmm, well, will you let me treat you to the same?”
Consolidation of success
The five minutes that it takes to place an order buys time for an important short conversation. The main thing now is to let her feel that you are interested in knowing everything about her, and not just whether her bed creaks or not. This is the threshold that most men stumble over when inspired by their first success. The conversation will be easier if you ask so-called open-ended questions - those that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Hint: start questions with what, how, where and when. “What happens if you go overboard with this wonderful drink? Have you already had this experience? And how did you feel? If there is a painful pause, do not get lost. Take the advice of Susan Roan, author of What to Say Next?: “You can intrigue a girl by saying that you are usually much more talkative, but looking at her, you forgot half of the words. It sounds sincere, besides a compliment - the girl will definitely respond to it.
End the attack by ordering another cocktail. Agreeing, she signals: the path is open, boldly forward. Now you can take the phone with your bare hands.
If you change your mind
In the course of the conversation, did you realize that your relationship was a mistake? It's time to round them gracefully: “Now you won't die of thirst, my conscience is clear. I'm sorry, they're waiting for me."
Trick #2 Try to use magic
since it worked on Claudia Schiffer...
Being in the spotlight gives your image an unbearable charisma. Women love men who know how to entertain and have fun. That is why tricks and tricks act like a magnet on girls. But don't listen to us. “If I see a guy really having fun, I usually want to share the fun with him,” says Oksana, 25.
First step
“I once watched a guy who was sitting at the counter and showed a girl tricks - a flying olive, an exploding straw and other nonsense,” says bartender Misha. - The bar was full, and after about five minutes a whole company of girls gathered around this guy, who excitedly commented on what was happening. It was one of the most effective dating techniques, or, as they say, a pickup technician. He gathered several people who wanted to get to know each other at once, without even getting up from his chair. (See below for a description of these tricks.) When you start your show, make sure that your friends act as the first grateful spectators. Then turn to a suitable spectator and say: “Did you see everything? If you can guess how this trick works, I'll treat you." If she can't explain anything, it means that she forgot the basics of Newtonian mechanics from admiration, or simply the entire sixth grade was distracted by the early discovery of her own sexuality. Both suit us - show the trick again and treat her.
Consolidation of success
After explaining the trick, turn the conversation to the girl itself. It is very easy to do this: “Okay, enough tricks for today. Tell me more about yourself." Keep the conversation in line with the information that she will give out about herself - this way she will get the impression that you are an attentive interlocutor. When the drinks are finished, leave. Not forgetting, however, to invite her to the next performance. “My friends and I meet here often. If you want, leave me the phone and I'll let you know what's fun next time." This deliberately careless proposal will provide you with a worthy assistant, relying on every magician.
If you change your mind
If there was much more fun when you practiced tricks in front of a mirror, then it’s not your audience in front of you. We retreat to the toilet. “And now another trick - a magical disappearance. Will you excuse me? Wizards do it too."
Bar tricks: classic
1. Cover the olive with an empty glass.
2. Spin the olive in the glass without raising it.
3. Continuing the rotation, raise the glass.
4. Release the olive over her glass with a martini glass.
1. Pinch the straw at both ends.
2. Twist the ends, forcing air into the center.
3. Show the girl the resulting bubble.
4. She flicks her finger at it... bang!
Trick #3 Fight with another guy
every girl needs a protector
So, the girl of your dreams found herself pressed into the corner by an unsympathetic subject with a lustful gleam in his eyes. Help her find freedom, and in the game of "acquaintance" you will get a head start. “I will always be grateful to a man who will save me from an annoying admirer,” explains Lena, 23.
First step
To begin with, understand the situation - does the girl really need to be saved. Pay attention to non-verbal signs: if the victim and the invader are facing each other and do not take their eyes off each other, it is better not to interfere - the bride herself dreams of being kidnapped. If she turns away with her whole body and casts pitiful glances around, then she wants freedom - go ahead! First you need to be between them. Spill liquid on yourself and ask for a napkin, pretend that the girl seems familiar to you. Even if she sees you for the first time in her life, she will support the game and will be grateful to you for saving her.
Consolidation of success
If she has at least a modicum of intelligence, she should invite you to sit next to her and start a leisurely conversation with you about your imaginary mutual acquaintances, and if the impudent attacker who attacked her is trampling around, then relatives. Give her a cocktail. It will look like part of a plan to save her, not an attempt to get her drunk. Keep playing the defender of widows and orphans card: “I always feel like I need to save someone. My ex girlfriend(yeah, now she knows that you are immensely lonely) said that she hates being left alone in the company of an unpleasant man.
So, you positioned yourself as a ladies' man, now it's time to joke, for example, tell a joke about a wedding. This topic is very close to girls, and the fact that you can easily use the terms "wedding", "bride", "flowers", "registry office" makes you an ideal man in her eyes. When all dangers have passed, say: “I enjoyed saving you so much, maybe I can do it again? Like saving you from starvation tomorrow at dinner?”
If you change your mind
It may turn out that the victim is a disaster herself, and, if you look at it, you saved not her, but that guy. To escape, use this phrase: "I was glad to help, I'll go and see my company, otherwise you never know." Go look for the next victim.
Trick #4 Seduce her with a cue
the game is a great opportunity to get close
If you take an active life position, billiards, darts, pinball and other slot machines are an alternative to sluggish gatherings at the table and a great springboard for dating. And also a testament to your independence. “I would rather pay attention to a guy who enjoys himself, and not just sits in the corner and stares at every skirt,” Alla, 27, told us.
First step
Try to start by accidentally hitting her with a cue. (We are talking only about a touch, at least such that the girl remains alive.) This episode guarantees you an easy and constructive beginning of acquaintance - you will have to apologize. Just say: “Oh, I seem to have hurt you. A million apologies! Maybe we will play - you will have a chance to take revenge on me.
Consolidation of success
If she does not want to play, you need to insist on a cocktail treat at the end of the game. Just as compensation. And if you agree, you have room for maneuver. Although you will have to talk about something during the game. Try to start an intellectual conversation "Who do you think is better at pool, Madonna or Britney Spears?" Sounds like schizophrenic delusions, but for the development of a casual conversation, this is much better than "Have you been here before?" When you finish the game, say, regardless of the result: “I think we need a rematch. Give me your phone." Simply and easily.
If you change your mind
If you find the ball-setting triangle sexier than your new partner, say that you don't like to play too many games in a row and retreat to the bar immediately.
First step
So, you only have five minutes to offer the girl the kind of interaction she would like to continue in a non-toilet environment. Fortunately, women become more forgiving when they are bored and there are few men around. In addition, you have a common secret business, you are, in a sense, comrades in misfortune. You can safely exploit toilet humor. Say you saw a girl at the front of the line with a volume of War and Peace. Promise her to call rescuers if she's gone too long.
Consolidation of success
Ask casually if she's leaving, because if you get stuck in this line again, you'll need her company. After exciting conversations about the nuances of physiology, you can transfer the conversation to other topics. Ask her where she spends her time when she's not queuing for the bathroom. When you reach your destination, you will be like brother and sister. Therefore, your offer to wait for you to get back together will sound quite natural. And it would be quite logical after what you experienced, it would be to offer her something to drink.
If you change your mind
Can't imagine yourself with this girl more than five meters from the bathroom? Say, “Sorry, looks like I’m going to stay longer than I thought. Very specific cuisine here.”
Going on an evening hunt, make sure that you are well camouflaged. After all, before they trustfully let you get closer, the girls study your appearance. 
Bad haircut “I'm not saying that a guy must have something trendy on his head,” says Natasha, 31. But traces of a more or less decent haircut still want to be observed. To do this, you just need to go to a good hairdresser. But this “well cut, inexpensive” - something from a difficult childhood. Unshaven “I love it when a man gets a little stubble in the evening. It's so sexy! explains Christina, 25. - I have a desire to touch his face, I begin to wonder if it pricks or not. And if it pricks, then how. Although I'm in the minority among girlfriends, they like clean-shaven men." Watches “A man looks somehow more responsible in a watch, but for me it's all the same as more attractive,” says Lisa, 27 years old. - But when a guy wears a business watch for great thousands at a disco or in the gym - this is bullshit and cheap show-offs. Well, well, well - expensive show-offs and from this even more disgusting. Handsfree “This is how teenagers walk when they have their first smartphone in their lives,” Tanya, 30, is sure. - From my point of view, a man with a hearing aid in his ear... well, it's a man with a hearing aid in his ear. What else can be added here? Hands-free driving is fine, but what kind of nerd would carry it around a bar?" Collar “It's not kosher to wear a buttoned shirt collar in the evening at a bar,” says Masha, 26. - Firstly, there is no feeling of relaxation. Secondly, I like it when naked bodies are visible, at least a little: a bare throat, rolled up sleeves. (This does not apply to oversized socks.)"
