How does the bride sit? The main commandments of the bride and groom. wedding signs associated with gifts

In the last program, we started talking about preparations for the wedding, dowry, the role of a witness and a witness. Let's continue our conversation about what other people played an important role at the wedding, and why it is important to know about them.

You were right about the role, because when we talk about the wedding, we offer the verb "play". The wedding was played like a performance, where everyone had their own role, and the scope of this role was clearly understood and defined.

We talked about the fact that the closest people to the bride and groom were the best man and the best man, who today are called honorary witnesses.

Who is the main character at the wedding?

The most important at the wedding, of course, were the bride and groom. The second most important were the best man and the best man. We talked about the fact that these were supposed to be young, unmarried people with no children, and most importantly, these people had to play this role once, so as not to be left alone in life.

It is necessary to understand on which side of the bride and groom their friend and girlfriend are located.

Are we talking about a wedding in a registry office, a church or a church, or are we talking about seating at a table at a banquet?

We must understand that the situation of stability should not change. We are obliged to respect and honor Christian and folk traditions, so we need to talk about the symbolism of right and left in folk culture.

I want to ask a question, on what foot did you get up this morning?

I get up on my right foot because I sleep on my right.

This is a common expression. When we see a somewhat rude, boorish person, we say: "You got up on the wrong foot today." This means that there is a leg with which you need to get up so that a person is in a normal mood, so that he does not swear with anyone.

Another situation: you are going on an excursion, you stop at a beautiful edge, and the driver says a sacramental phrase: "Boys to the left, girls to the right."

A woman complains to a woman in a conversation: "Probably my husband went to the left." From here you can build a logical chain that going to the left means going to a woman.

I would say that it means something bad.

Means just a trip to another woman. Therefore, we already feel that the left half, the left side, what is marked with the word "left", has always belonged to a woman. Everything on the right belonged to a man.

We have male and women's clothing and we know that the buttons are on women's jacket will be sewn on the left bar, and for a man - on the right.

It's right. But why is a woman associated with the left, that is, with something bad, with a bad side?

I wouldn't say it's bad. This is just a division of our space into the right and left parts.

Let's go to the traditional Belarusian hut. Opposite the threshold is a red corner, and the space of the house is divided diagonally. The left half will definitely have a stove, and a woman works there, preparing breakfasts and lunches. The right side was given to the man.

Let's look at the church calendar, the holidays that are associated with the veneration of the Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ. If we conditionally imagine the annual circle and put the holidays along the contour, we will see that the Nativity of Christ, the Baptism of the Lord, the Presentation of the Lord, Easter, the Ascension, that is, the holidays associated with a man, are located on the right half of the circle. All holidays associated with the Virgin Mary will be on the left half of the circle.

If we enter the church, we will see that the image of the Virgin Mary is located to the left of the altar, and the image of Jesus Christ is to the right of it. When a couple enters the temple to get married, the woman will stand on the left half of the temple, closer to the image of the Virgin Mary, the groom - on the right half, closer to the image of Jesus Christ.

Why is it important to follow this? Why does the bride have to stand to the left of the groom?

Why do we have to cross the road at a green traffic light? There are certain rules that no one will break - it just doesn't make sense. We are Orthodox people, Orthodox-glorious, we will overshadow ourselves with a cross from right to left. For Catholics, the opposite is true: they cross themselves from left to right.

So, is it a matter of faith?

Certainly. Within the framework of our program it is impossible to understand all the canons of the church, all the canons folk tradition. We say that we respect one, and the second, and the third tradition. There are a lot of Muslims in our country, and we respect these traditions: we will not come to their sacred place, and we will not put things in order there. We will just respect them.

Therefore, in an Orthodox church, everything is located just like that. The cross with which we overshadow ourselves is done in this way. Orthodox people wear wedding rings on the right ring finger.

Why is the bride standing to the right of the groom in the registry offices today?

It is necessary to understand the symbolism of right and left. In pre-Christian times, one of the deities among the Slavs was the god Prav. And all the same-root words - "truth, house manager, truthful, correct" - come from the name of the god Rule, the god of truth. People came to him to be judged who was right and who was wrong. From here that branch of Christianity went, which was founded in Byzantium and received the name "Orthodoxy".

The wedding continues the tradition, so the groom, the head of the family, put the bride next to him on the left side so that his right hand was free to make the most important decisions that only men can make. The woman who was getting married took him left hand, stood to his left.

The best man and the best man stood side by side: the best man - with his girlfriend, in the same way, on the left side, and the best man, the groom's friend, a man, stood on the right side, next to the groom.

Let's invite our listeners to set up an experiment. On any major holiday, go into the church and you will see that women concentrate on the left half of the Orthodox church, and men on the right half.

I quite often communicate with registry office workers and asked them several times why modern brides stand to the right of the groom. Most often, people shrug their shoulders and do not answer it. Sometimes I hear this: "In the registry office, the bride is on the right, we will register the marriage, and then we will put it the other way around." The bride is driven to the right, then to the left. It seems to me that it is necessary to get up as it should be according to tradition. If a woman's buttons are fastened on the left half, then you need to stand on the left side near the groom, near the man.

Why don't the employees of the Belarusian registry offices know about these traditions? After all, they are a fundamental link in the beginning of family life.

Unfortunately, during the Soviet era, we forgot a lot of things. Something was preserved, collected bit by bit, and maybe the fact that today we are trying to remember the traditions of our ancestors, trying to bring them back into our lives is already good.

Moreover, we will come for festive table, and our bridegroom and bride will sit down in the same way as we said, and all her relatives will sit on the side of the bride, and all his guests will sit on the side of the groom. This is wonderful: two wings, two clans have united, and each will take its own position.

How do you feel about the fact that today the best man, the witness, sits next to the bride, and the witness sits next to the groom?

The youth audience answers like this: the best man guards the bride. From whom, from the groom? Well, we found some role for the best man at the wedding. What then does the groom's best man do? It turns out that "going to the left" is made legal right at the wedding itself. A man should sit near the groom, the best man, covering this whole couple with himself.

A wedding is a very sacred, sacred time, which lays the foundation for the future life of the young. And the more such nuances we remember, the more correctly and competently we line the feather bed, according to the traditions of the well-known and those that exist specifically in this area, it will only be wonderful.

What should accompany the action of seating at the table?

Of course, the bride and groom were the first to be brought to the wedding table. The bride, who was preparing to get married, wove about forty towels, and each of them had its own meaning. The father took a not very long, not very wide towel, tied the hands of the bride and groom, and wound them beautifully and seated them in their place. It was, as a rule, a shop, covered with a casing, tied with a red ribbon so that the family would have prosperity and children. Then everyone else sat down. The last people to sit at the table were the oldest people - they closed the wedding table with themselves.

Let's get back to important wedding roles. Who are the planted parents and what was their role?

If it happened that the mother was widowed or the parents were divorced, then such a mother participate in wedding ceremonies I could not. Today, mothers do not understand and are even offended when they are told that they should fade into the background. Yes, life is very difficult, people can be married with both their first and second marriages, and the most important thing is that they be happy, that they find that soul mate with whom they will be happy in life. But in this situation, we are talking about a ritual, about who had the moral right to participate in them, and who did not have such a right.

We create a family and want to live happily. The principle of happiness and well-being is constantly traced in all Belarusian rituals. One of the most striking examples is Kolyada: how will you meet New Year, and so you will. He had to be met in new clothes, at a generous, rich table, and always in the circle of his whole family. Everything I want should be here and now.

The family gathered, festively dressed, and at this time carolers come to the house and begin to sing songs in which wishes are sounded. The more wishes sounded during the celebration of Kolyada, the richer and happier the family will be.

After the young people left the temple, it was their sacred duty to come to the cemetery to their dead relatives to bow. In some regions this was done on the Sabbath, on the eve of the wedding, but in some it was done even after leaving the church. The principle "before yourself - to my ancestors" worked. Before you sit down at the festive wedding table, you had to go and bow to those to whom you owe your life.

In this case, where should the young people go after the registry office or wedding?

Hard to say. Once on television we were doing a program about weddings, and one viewer was indignant: how are we going to send our daughter-bride to the cemetery on such a solemn, beautiful day? And what, our cemetery is not a solemn place?

Of course, everyone decides for himself whether to follow this custom or not. But if we stand on the fundamental traditions of our ancestors, we must remember the principle "before ourselves - to the ancestors." You can not go to the cemetery on that Saturday, when the young people go to the registry office, you can do it the day before, but this visit was mandatory.

If we talk about filling the time that is between the registry office and the table, then you need to go to the burial places of the heroes of the Great Patriotic War: if we start building our lineage, it will turn out that in some generation our relatives lie there.

You can object by saying that relatives may be buried far from where you currently live. In this situation, when we bow to any monument to the fallen, we perform that obligatory action that was in the tradition of the wedding - to bow to those to whom we owe our lives.

I am of two minds about the Island of Tears, where our young couples go. A grieving mother immediately appears who did not cry out her tears for her son, did not even bury him. Therefore, if you do not have a family relationship with those people who are mourned there, then you probably should not interfere in this situation. And in general, the Island of Tears is dedicated to the guys who fulfilled their international duty, and after 15-20 pairs of newlyweds visit there, bottles are everywhere, plastic cups scatter. All this takes place in a certain frivolous behavior of the young and their friends, and all this offends our traditions. We insult those people in honor of whom this monument was created.

We've gone off topic a bit. Let's go back to planted parents.

So, we must remember the principle of honoring ancestors, wish yourself and your family well-being and happiness, wish to continue your kind. And the last principle, very important - like will provoke, attract or create a situation of like. There are a variety of examples: a pregnant woman cannot look at various freaks - you will give birth to the same freak. In the presence of a pregnant woman, not one of the strongest swearers in the village will say a single swear word - like will cause like.

In this situation, when the mother was out of the couple, she could provoke, create a situation of exactly the same share of the child's fate. Therefore, she was carefully relegated to the background, and a happy married couple, who must have had children, was appointed to this place. chose perfect couple whose life they wanted for themselves, to wish their children. And then these imprisoned parents had to perform the ritual actions intended for the parents.

We have already talked a lot about who matchmakers are, how they were chosen, how they were appointed. Let's talk about what role they play at the wedding, how they should be dressed and why?

Indeed, we talked quite a lot about the role of matchmakers. I repeat that they were worthy people, very respected in the area, people who knew their traditions. It remains to determine the relationship godparents and matchmakers.

At the very best original version was the following. The groom had a godfather, he had a wife, which allowed this couple to become a full-fledged couple of matchmakers.

That is, ideally matchmakers are husband and wife?

Yes, and they were one pair. But the groom also had godmother, and the godmother also had a husband - it was the second pair of matchmakers. Therefore, at the wedding, the bride had two pairs of matchmakers and the groom had two pairs of matchmakers. Moreover, the bride's wedding was ruled in her house - it was the work of two couples of this side, the groom's house had its own ball, and two second pairs of matchmakers commanded there.

How to understand that the bride's wedding was played in her house?

We have already said that the wedding was once three or four days, so the first half, after the young people get married, they came to the bride's house.

In a word, ideally, there should have been four couples of matchmakers. The most important thing was to observe the unshakable condition - like causes like. Therefore, if the godmother was widowed or divorced at the time of her goddaughter's wedding, she was the most important, most honored guest, she was sure to be presented with gifts, but she could not play the role of a matchmaker, because she was out of a couple. Then a happy married couple was chosen for this place. It's no secret that it was the matchmakers who were the most important, the generals at the wedding, those people whose role today is played by the host or toastmaster. And in order to see this main person at the wedding, she and he were tied up with towels.

The matchmaker's knot, which tied the towel, was on the right side, the matchmaker's - on the left. And when this married couple stood next to each other, the matchmaker took the matchmaker under her left hand, and the same arch, rainbow, gate, which was always in the center of the wedding, turned out.

In Soviet times, there was a tradition to take the matchmaker from the side of the bride, and the matchmaker was appointed from the side of the groom - they broke up the couple. We went endlessly in descending order: a three-day wedding became a two-day one, there were four pairs of matchmakers and two loaves, and now we have come to the point that on the only wedding day we eat the only biscuit wedding cake. We have reached a minimum, therefore, probably, we do not need such a number of matchmakers today. And weddings today are ruled not by matchmakers, but by a professional toastmaster.

But the fact is that when a child was baptized, these very godparents carried him to the temple in their arms. They gave their vow: "Just as we bachyli yago fell with a roof, so we will bachyts yago fell with a breeze." They must have been at the wedding of the godson or goddaughter. And a sign of respect and reverence for these same godparents was tying with a towel. Even if today our matchmakers are just guests who can do little at a wedding, tying them with a towel is a holy deed for every godson.

Why today, instead of a towel, the matchmaker is tied with a pink ribbon, and the matchmaker is blue?

This all comes from the Soviet era, when we did not want a rustic towel, although, in my opinion, it is not possible to replace the most beautiful towel with any ribbon.

As for color, I think everyone knows what shades modern people mark representatives of sexual minorities. I don't know how much this should be cultivated at weddings. Every year I visit exhibitions of bridal salons, bridal fashion and never cease to wonder when pink and blue ribbons will end, when will we return to beautiful, luxurious, embroidered woven towels with fringe and tassels? Perhaps it's time to move away from pink and blue tones.

All our ribbons are written in the same way - from left to right, so such a ribbon can be tied or stabbed only on the left hand. Then our matchmakers stand like two lines that never intersect, and our "house" will no longer exist. But how do these lines not intersect when matchmakers are husband and wife?

Are you sorry that these traditions do not exist now in the form in which they were before?

Probably, if it were not a pity, I would not be here. If I were not the author of eight monographs, today we are preparing the book "Belarusian Wedding: Traditions and Modernity". As long as I live, I will talk about what I learned from my relatives, from those people with whom I communicate on expeditions.

I think that we are still returning to those ideals and those traditions that were once there, because there was nothing but a unifying, creative foundation. They never destroyed anything, but only protected the couple that created their future as much as possible.

If you had a chance to change modern wedding traditions where would you start?

First of all, I would return to my family: no school, no kindergarten, not a single book and not a single portal will teach people to return to this. When guests come to us, the first thing the hostess worries about is whether there is a bottle in the house. Unfortunately, this is what happens. And I say: if you put a bottle on the table first, there will be a fight. And if you put bread on the table first, then there will be a song. It is necessary to change the situation, to show the child that first on the table, covered with a tablecloth, you need to put bread, and then everything else. Ten years will pass, and your child will know that bread should be the first to appear on the table.

You need to change the pros for cons, and you need to start with yourself and your family.

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Today, many discrepancies have appeared about where the bride should stand at the wedding in relation to the groom - on the right or on the left. It is interesting that even the employees of the registry offices cannot explain the reasons why it is necessary to become one way or another. It happens that the bride is first placed to the right of the groom, after the ceremony - to the left. The confusion begins. Many newlyweds think that this issue is insignificant and does not affect anything.

But people who preserve ancient traditions and esotericists of all stripes unanimously claim that this has a great sacred meaning. And just as in jurisprudence, ignorance of the law does not exempt from the consequences of their violation. So where the bride sits or stands relative to the groom also influences how the future life of the couple will turn out!

If you start with the fact that any clothing has a fastener on the female and male side. Women fasten buttons to the left, men to the right. Logically, the woman stands, sits and walks to the left of the man. There is even a well-reasoned explanation for this - the place of a woman near the heart of a man is the most ideal and logically justified. With his right hand, he protects her, holding her through life with his left hand.

Based on this, the bride goes to the registry office, stands during registration and must sit at the wedding banquet to the LEFT of the groom.

Moreover, sometimes confusion arises when it is necessary to place young witnesses near. Often they put a witness near the bride, and a girlfriend - near the groom. This radically contradicts the historically established Slavic strictness of morals and chastity. According to the ancient canons, the task of the witness (the old name is the best man) is to protect the couple during the ceremony and vouch for her before the higher powers that they will preserve the integrity of the family and their relationship. This is a very serious responsibility. And therefore, in the old regime times, only decent family men who had established themselves as the guardians of morality and moral principles were taken as best men. If you look at the old pictures of Russian life, then the best man always stood next to the groom, providing the newly born family with PROTECTION!

Arranging the witnesses at a wedding differently is like condoning a decline in morals. The tradition of placing or seating a witness next to the bride is based on a common misconception that the best man at the wedding protects the bride. You can still come to terms with this. But the tacit consent of those around about the girlfriend, sitting or standing near the groom, practically allows him to go "to the left." It is the best man who should cover the couple, and for this he must be on right hand from the groom.

It is strange that even registry office employees sometimes do not have this information, although by the nature of their activity they should.

What other arguments are there about where the bride should sit, on which side of the groom?

Let's remember. The expression "to walk to the left" means to walk towards a woman. Logically, this means that the left side originally belongs to the woman, and Right side is a man's prerogative.

Further. IN church calendar there is the concept of the annual circle, in which all the big Orthodox holidays. Moreover, everything connected with Christ - from Christmas, Baptism to Easter and Ascension - is located on the right side of this circle, and women's holidays dedicated to the Virgin Mary - on the left. Inside any Orthodox church, icons with the face of the Mother of God are located on the left side of the altar, and icons with Christ are on the right.

During the wedding, the bride stands just opposite the Virgin Mary, and the groom is on the right hand of the bride, opposite the image of Christ.

From pre-Christian times, information has come down to us about a Slavic deity named Rule, who helped to find the truth. Many words, one way or another connected with the truth, rules, the right hand, originated from him. Orthodoxy in some way continued this tradition. The right hand of a man should always remain free to perform protective functions and make strategic decisions. Therefore, the woman is to his left.

There is another tradition connected with this, which many do not remember. Young people should stick together all the wedding day so that not a single person can pass between them. It is very difficult to follow this on your own, therefore, usually the mother of the bride takes on this role, vigilantly guarding the happiness of her daughter.

So let's remember that a wedding is not just a fun holiday. This is a sacred ceremony in which every little thing is important, which will affect the quality of future family life.

It’s worth starting with the fact that the landing rules begin with the definition of the contingent present at the holiday. Newlyweds, guests of different ages, witnesses from the bride and groom, children - everyone needs their own space, which should be determined as competently as possible. Let's start from this point!

Basic seating rules for newlyweds

The newlyweds, of course, should occupy the central part of the feast so that each guest can see the happy faces of the bride and groom. According to the rules, the bride should sit to the right of her chosen one, so this fact should also be taken into account.

Where should witnesses and parents sit?

When answering the question of how to properly seat guests at a wedding, you must first pay attention to the witnesses. Do not think that the witnesses are more important than all the other people present at the celebration - this is far from the case. The fact is that there are not as many witnesses as there are other guests, and the very title of “witness” suggests that such a person should be closer to the newly made couple. So, the scheme is simple:

• The bridesmaid must sit on the groom's side.
• The groom's friend must sit on the side of the bride

Who is dear to us the most? Of course, parents. Parents, as a rule, get their seats next to the witnesses, so your "confidants" should be people who are truly close to you, preferably those who know your moms and dads. Such an environment for a new family creates a special atmosphere that is filled with warmth, joy, and true emotions in relation to such a significant event.

What is the best way to seat guests at the wedding table

Wedding seating tips are very versatile, as they depend on several factors:

• Type of setting tables during the holiday, form, number and their fragmentation
• Age distinction
• Sexual distinction

Since there are a lot of tips, let's try to understand each one in more detail to make it easier for you to organize the space during the festival.

Seating arrangements for the elderly at the wedding table

So, first of all, we take care of the elderly who are invited to the wedding. They should be seated in a place remote from the speakers so that there are no complaints about too loud noise, as well as discomfort as a result. If the invitee will not hear or see the stage well, try to take into account the nuance in advance, or have the opportunity to change people's places (although such situations should be avoided).

Consider the individual characteristics of the guests when seating at the wedding table

This point is often completely overlooked, and delivers a lot of very real problems. For example, you invited a huge number of people, some of whom are familiar with each other. Naturally, guests will constantly ask you to sit at a particular table. Someone will try to get closer to a couple of newlyweds, someone will want to organize their cheerful circle of fans to talk loudly about football, while others will prefer to hide away from the main mass. It seems that you want to please absolutely everyone, but is it possible?

This is possible if the celebration does not imply a global scale. In the case when there are a lot of guests, this division into microgroups can seriously overshadow the holiday. The noisy ones will sit down with the same noisy ones, they will start talking loudly, disturbing the calmer guests. Places of relatives will try to be taken by people who, only out of principle, want to sit closer to the newlyweds. And there can be many such situations. There will also be enough advisers in terms of seating, but do not forget that this is just your holiday. Do as you see fit, but also take into account the basic rules that will help avoid misunderstandings.

Let's look at the main list of tips in a short list that should be taken into account by every family that decides to take care of the organization of the holiday on its own.

1. Divide guests with different personalities into different wedding tables

Estimate the approximate contingent of people who will be at the holiday. If you understand that a certain type of invitee will not get along with another, allocate places for them at different tables so that there are no quarrels and misunderstandings. Such a dispersal of guests according to the type of character is, in a way, a psychological force for the culture of the feast.

Fans of arguing or conflict should be seated as far away from each other as possible. Otherwise, you risk becoming a witness to a real debate, which can gradually turn into a quarrel, or even worse. There is no need to overshadow your holiday with such moments, since not all people understand how to behave and how to restrain emotions on such an important holiday as a wedding.

2. Consider the personal relationship of the wedding guests when seating

If the parents of the bride or groom are divorced, you should not seat them at the same table. Of course, mom and dad will never reproach their child for this, but it will be uncomfortable for both of them to be around for such a long time. The best option- seat people at tables that are at the maximum distance from each other.

Have you invited a couple to a party? There is no need to separate them from each other. An exception is the case when one of the participants or members of the couple is a witness from the side of the bride or groom.

No need to break up people from the same group. Let your work colleagues sit at one table, and friends from a certain company at another. So it will be much more comfortable for those invited to be at the celebration, and no one will be bored from loneliness and ignorance of the rest of those present.

3. Find out in advance about the possibility of installing wedding tables of different sizes

Check with the administration of the rented premises in advance whether it is possible to install tables of various sizes inside. This will help you immediately determine the plan for arranging seating furniture, starting from the established factors.

4. Consider people's needs for space at the table

Hence follows next rule. Remember if any of the invitees need more space than the rest? This may include pregnant women, parents with small children, and people on wheelchairs. This should be thought about in advance in order to allocate sufficient space for everyone, and not to embarrass a person.

5. Think over the seating plan for the guests at the wedding table

Try to immediately come up with several landing options at once. This approach will allow you to have fallbacks if something goes wrong (some people won't be able to come, or the number of invitees will suddenly increase). You should also take into account spare seats, which can also help in resolving possible problems.

The planting plan should be drawn up well in advance of the wedding. Have you booked a place, found out all the nuances regarding furniture? You can start drawing up a seating plan! You should not leave this idea for the last week, because you will still have more important things to do.

6. Sit no more than 10 people at the round table

This item is especially important! Very often, round tables are set up in restaurants. Of course, they are very convenient for people who want to make acquaintances and chat. But at the same time, you should understand that you don’t need to seat more than 10 people at 1 table, because even if they have enough space, there will be many difficulties in terms of communication. Everyone will start interrupting each other, there will be a kind of turmoil that will make people go on shouting and drawing too much attention to themselves.

7. Respect other people's personal space

In no case do not try to seat guests without a couple at the same table. Firstly, this is too obvious an undertaking, and such people will simply be uncomfortable with the realization of your intentions, albeit good ones. Better organize a place where people can get to know each other, and if a certain sympathy arises between a man and a woman, then they will be able to recognize each other even without your efforts.

8. Prepare guest name cards

If you provide an individual menu for each guest at your own holiday, then try to prepare cards with the names of each invitee in a designated place. This will not only create some kind of order in the process of seating those present, but will also significantly facilitate the work of the waiters, and the vegetarian will definitely not receive meat as a treat.

9. Divide your guests first

First distribute the guests to the tables, and only then assign seats.

Men and women must take turns seating, but this rule can be omitted if required. With the proper number of seats, it will not be difficult to observe such a gradation.

10. Rules for seating children at the wedding table

For older children, it is necessary to allocate a separate table, where it will be much more comfortable for them to be with each other. Children aged 10+ do not need parental supervision, so they should have their own seat. Schoolchildren aged 6-10 can also be seated at their own table, but a little closer to their parents. Children 2-5 years old sit next to their parents, and special chairs (chairs) should be arranged in advance for babies. Ask the administration of the institution where the wedding will take place.

wedding table layouts

Traditional scheme

The traditional scheme is the most popular, and it is used in most cases. The main long table is located in the hall (as a rule, these are several tables standing close to each other). Guests are seated around, women and men alternate, the newlyweds sit in the very middle. Next to the bride sit the mother and father from the side of the groom, and next to the groom sit the mother and father of the bride. Now this rule is rarely used, since the places of parents are occupied by witnesses.

The seating arrangement of guests at the wedding at the table in the shape of the letter T

The T-shaped seating arrangement is the most popular in Russia and is great for small banquet halls. The optimal number of guests in this case is approximately 20-25 people. A new married couple sits at the head of the table, and the guests are seated around, depending on the degree of kinship and status in relation to the newlyweds.

Seating guests at the wedding at the table in the shape of the letter P

Seating in the shape of the letter "P" is also found at Russian weddings. Most often, it is used as an alternative to the T-shaped table construction, and can also comfortably accommodate a larger number of guests (about 30 people).

The seating of guests at the wedding at the table in the shape of the letter W

The W-shape is ideal if there are more than 60 guests at the wedding.

European options for arranging wedding tables

There are a lot of European options, let's briefly consider each of them:

• Type "Buffet". Perfect for an inexpensive wedding.
• Buffet style. Often seen in American weddings. Has multiple buffets and guests are seated across from each other at other 2 long tables
• Correct "Herringbone". Tables are lined up at an angle in the shape of a Christmas tree, standing diagonally opposite each other. The newlyweds sit in the upper middle part of the production at a separate table
• Wrong "Christmas tree" is an erroneous option, since some invitees will sit with their backs to the newlyweds
• Cabaret style implies several round tables and 1 central - for the newlyweds. The chairs are placed in a semicircle, as in real cabarets, from where the arrangement got its name. This is a very convenient option for non-standard weddings.
• English style also implies the use of a round type of furniture, and no more than 8 guests are seated around each element. According to psychologists, this option is ideal for certain groups of people who will be as comfortable as possible next to each other.
• Italian variant. In Italy, it has long been customary to set a table for a maximum of 4 guests. The table of the newlyweds, as a rule, is placed on a special hill so that everyone can see the young couple. Boarding groups for guests, as a rule, are arranged in a checkerboard pattern (if more than 4 such groups are planned).

When inviting guests to a wedding, you need to think about how to seat them at the wedding banquet. You can, of course, not bother with this, but, as practice shows, it is still worth doing - think over in advance: who will sit where.

There are certain rules for seating guests at friendly and family parties and somewhat different rules for seating guests during large official feasts. We should consider all these options, since weddings are different - friendly (where mostly or only friends are present), family (where members of both families are present), and perhaps important people will attend your wedding at your invitation - all these aspects must be taken into account so as not to offend anyone.

Suppose Friends- they will understand, if anything ... and they themselves, in general, will figure out where to sit.

WITH family members- harder: God forbid to start life together from quarrels in the camp of relatives. It is very important to pay due attention to parents on both sides and, even more so, to elderly relatives.

And important guests- this is from the sphere of business etiquette: a wedding is a wedding, and business ties should be strengthened due to the attention paid (inviting a business partner or “necessary” person to such a personal event), the guest should not feel superfluous at your family holiday.

So, you are the bride and groom - main characters , "hosts" of the celebration, so the seats near you at the wedding table, both on the right and on the left, are considered the most honorable.

During official feasts (and your wedding is an official event), when seating guests, it is advisable to adhere to certain rules. Nowadays, they are no longer as strict as they used to be, but there are several fundamental points.

There are several ways to "notify" guests about their location at the wedding table:

1. A “seating plan” is attached to the wedding invitation. This option is not always convenient, since invitations are often sent out before issues with the banquet hall are resolved. You can, of course, send them additionally later, but this is additional trouble.

2. Cards with the names of the guests are placed on the wedding table near the cutlery.

3. Before entering the banquet hall, a “table plan” is hung out so that each of the guests can determine where and next to whom he is sitting. This plan is at the same time an opportunity for those invited to find out in advance about the lady who will sit on the right hand.
It is worth taking care of their acquaintance before the banquet, keep in mind!

4. Personally take care of seating guests at the beginning of the banquet.

Honeymoon locations:
The bride sits to the right of the groom.
At a rectangular table, your seats are in the center of the long side.
If the tables are in the form of T, P, E, the place for the newlyweds is always on the transverse side.

Parents. To the right of the bride sits the groom's father, next to the bride's mother. To the left of the groom sits the mother of the groom, next to him is the father of the bride.

Witnesses they sit not far from the bride and groom, or opposite, at a side table located in the center. Although at present, more and more often, witnesses are seated directly with the young: the witness is to the right of the bride, the witness is to the left of the groom. Next come the parents (see above).

The rest of the guests are ranked by age and degree of kinship. The older ones are closer to the newlyweds, similarly, with the degree of kinship. Priority: age, close relationship, female gender and importance of the guest.

When seating guests, they try, if possible, to seat men and women interspersed.
- Adhere to the second basic rule: married couples separate (this, of course, does not apply to newlyweds).
- According to international diplomatic protocol, in any case, the hosts must sit on the same side as the guests of honor.
- Men always take place to the left of the ladies.

Behavior when seated at the table:

If the guests already know their seats, they stand near them, do not sit down until the hostess (in our case, the bride) sits down.
A man helps his neighbor sit down. And he "looks after" the whole banquet.

If you have foreign guests at your wedding, then care should be taken not to put them in a position that degrades their national dignity, otherwise they may regard this as disrespect for their state and nation.

First of all, it is necessary to strictly observe diplomatic etiquette. At the same time, one should not forget that diplomatic protocol and general civil etiquette are two different things. Those. you will have to approach the seating arrangements of guests very carefully and with all attention. Of course, you don’t put them near you - it’s still a wedding, but you shouldn’t sit “in the gallery” either: be sure to be in sight and be sure to take care of a pleasant and suitable “neighborhood” of such important people.

The rules of conduct for newlyweds and their parents do not differ much from general rules, but there are some features inherent in this particular solemn moment.

So, firstly, invitation cards must contain the name of the guest, date, time and place of marriage. If something was not indicated in the invitation, then it is necessary to indicate in writing directly in them or orally that this information will be communicated additionally and be sure to clarify in what way.

Having celebrated the painting with a glass of champagne, the wedding procession sets off around the city, taking pictures and “working up” an appetite before. It should last no more than three hours, so as not to tire the guests, but the newlyweds themselves.

And, finally, at the end of the banquet, the young must definitely thank all the guests for coming to the wedding, and for. In addition, it is advisable for the newlyweds to come up all day and thank each guest for the presence on this fateful day for them. This will not only observe etiquette, but also honor the guests.

And remember, all the rules of etiquette are written by practice and convenience and are logically explainable. Therefore, in any situation, one must be guided by reason and the culture of behavior accepted in society.